To be sad about being an only child?

[Itsjustmeonmyown]

I am 38, an only child to two wonderful parents.
They desperately wanted more children but had fertility issues and it took them an age to just have me. They were unable to have any further children.
As I get older, I am finding myself more and more upset about being an only child. Seeing how well friends get on with their sisters, having support if parents get ill and when they're old and you're having to sort out their affairs etc.
I have cousins, but I am not close to them. I am married and have children of my own, but I really wish I had a sibling.
I am close to my parents and of course I worry about when they're not here anymore.
YABU - being an only child is great/suck it up buttercup
YANBU - it is hard and can be lonely

What?

Huh?

I’m a similar age and an only child. It’s bloody hard isn’t it.

I honestly don't mind being an only child. Most folk I know aren't that close to their siblings anyway. I did however like to see my friends have silly arguments with their siblings growing up, the slanging matches were funny but too noisy for me.

Wtf?

OP, comparison is the theft of joy an all that. You might have hated your sibling, youl never no. I don’t think that if you are feeling loanly it’s because you don’t have a sibling. Theres pros and cons to being an only and not.

Sorry you feel this way OP. How you feel is totally valid. Lots of people will be along to tell you that they don’t get on with their siblings. There’s no guarantee of a relationship. But I think it’s a very individual thing- some are very happy as only children & some aren’t.

I’m an only child too and I hate it. It was fine when I was a child, my mum made sure our house was always open to all friends so I was never lonely, but as an adult it sucks. People who have a sibling will never get it.

I am a similar age and an only child. I absolutely love it! To the extent where I feel about guilty about having a second child myself.

Would have liked siblings, love my in-laws mostly.My children love each other as adults and my friends generally get on with their brothers and sisters. It’s quite lonely not having any.Sad but true.

I hear you OP.

I am in my 40s and loved being an only when I was younger.
I am starting to feel a bit of loss around having no siblings the older I get ... there is a fear about the responsibility of looking after my mum should she need it in the future and there is a fear about feeling very alone when she dies. Although I have my own family now .. DH and 2 DCs, I am apprehensive about not having anyone to share my memories of childhood with.

Get help, sweetheart.

I'm 49, an only child, and I love it. Always have.

PBP is I believe a previously banned poster

I’m an only child, nearly 50, and occasionally when I was a child I wished for a sibling but as an adult it never enters my head anymore. While your feelings are valid I’d encourage you to try and accept what you cannot change.

Live your best life and remember that having siblings is not a guarantee that you’ll like each other and get on; you might but then again you might not. You’ll never know so go forward and focus on the positives in your life and the things that you can change.

I love being an only child. I don't find it difficult at all. It's much easier than difficult/non existent sibling relationships imo.

YABU. You don't know if you would even get along with your siblings.

I have a sibling who is estranged. Just because you have a sibling doesn't mean you'll have support if your parents get ill or with handling their affairs. There's no way to tell "what if".

i find this logic to be bit odd. Lots of people hate their parents on here but nobody says to someone ttc ‘don’t have a baby as they might not like you when they get older’.

Thank you everyone for sharing your responses and feelings.

Does anyone know what a PBP is? I didn't see any of the deleted messages 😕 probably just as well haha!

I’m also in my 30s and an only child.

Honestly, I’ve never wished I had a sibling (apart from when I was very young as I was the ‘only’ only child in my class at school), but maybe that’ll change as I get older.

I don’t know many people who have strong sibling relationships though, so I think that colours my view. None of my friends are particularly close to their siblings, and in some cases actively dislike them.

That doesn’t make your feelings less valid though. Perhaps your parents’ desire for a second child is also causing you to feel this way, in a “what might’ve been” sort of way. My parents only really wanted one, and split up when I was a toddler, so I’ve never had that feeling that I ever could’ve had another sibling anyway. Maybe I’m just talking nonsense though!

I certainly don’t think having a sibling is any guarantee of anything though. My mum has a brother who has had very little to do with their parents. She’s been left to deal with a lot of their problems alone, as they’ve got older and needed more support.

But that’s the point; she’s never had the opportunity to know. And more people than not get along with their siblings even if they’re not very close, than those who actively hate them.

When my parents were struggling with their health (10 years) and after they died and I had to deal with everything I would much rather have been an only child than dealing with my brother who did nothing useful, and caused no end of trouble.
I think it's easy to think that having a sibling would be amazing, but it's not a given at all