To tell my friend she’s boring

[tescovsasda]

My friend has always been a helicopter parent and her whole life is 100% about her DC. This was more understandable when the dc were little but now they’re all teenagers/young adults and it’s utterly tedious. When I get a call from her or pops over, I just know she’s got something to tell me about the dc - good results, friend issue etc. She’ll pretend to be interested in me for one minute before she has to start talking about the DC. She’ll even go on and on about their friends (who I don’t know). If I try to change the subject she doesn’t listen and continues to talk about her DC.
If we’re asked out by other friends, she usually doesn’t come as she doesn’t want to leave the DC on their own ( youngest is 14).
I wouldn’t actually tell her she is boring but how would you handle this?

Sounds like she's got poor social skills, but that's on her. We've all had to learn them.

As a mum you need to teach them. My mum did to us it was harsh but valuable…

ChatGPT (artificial intelligence software) suggests the following in response to your predicament:

“It's normal to have different interests and to want to spend time with people who share those interests. If you find that your friend only talks about her children and it's not something that you find particularly interesting, it might be helpful to try to gently steer the conversation in a different direction or to find other common interests to discuss.

It could also be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your friend about your feelings. Let her know that while you value your friendship and enjoy spending time with her, you find it difficult to engage in conversations that only revolve around her children. It's possible that your friend may not have realized the impact of her behavior on your relationship and may be open to finding other things to talk about.

Ultimately, it's important to remember that everyone has different interests and it's okay to spend time with people who share those interests. If you find that you and your friend have very different interests and there is little common ground, it might be necessary to accept that your friendship may be more limited in nature and to find other friendships that are more fulfilling.”

I had a friend who was like about a hobby. She literally bored me to tears, every topic had to be turned back round to it, then long monologues about it. I used to literally watch the minutes go by until our meet up was over.
I gradually stopped seeing her as much and the friendship died.
With hindsight, I regret it. She was actually a lovely woman with some really strong qualities, generous, loyal, kind, would do anything to help, and overall a person better to have in my life than not.
The moral? Some friends are fun and entertaining, some less so, but its the overall package that counts. If she brings value to your life, it might be worth stifling a yawn or two.

With my friend, I'd been very accommodating about meeting up when it wasn't convenient for me, as I knew she wouldn't change her plans as they were linked to her children who she was completely obsessed with. I ended up always meeting when I was busy and had other things that needed doing, then I always ended up behind schedule and had my energy drained by the monologues. Ironically, as often is the case with emotional vampires, as soon as I stopped being so available, she disappeared and I wished that I'd balanced both our needs more in the first place. I don't think she needed me, I think she needed somebody and there wasn't anyone else around. I have never made that mistake again, now I make sure to balance my needs as well as friends and make sure all the compromises never rest on one person.

She sounds mindnumbingly tedious.
Time to move on.

Does she work?

Is she a single mum? I wondered because you mentioned she doesn't want to go out because it mean leaving her kids alone.

I knew someone just like this, it was amusing in social situations to hear her go round the room telling virtual strangers about her kids. I doubt she even knew I also had children!

when the kids were late teens she started internet dating .. she was the same talking about each new boyfriend .. they lasted around two weeks each!

I would view this not as 'she's boring' but as 'we don't have much in common'.

I know people who are extremely preoccupied with their exercise routine, or their favourite celebrities, or with cars, and can't talk about much else. As I don't have much interest in these things, I don't form close friendships with these people. But I don't condemn them for their interests; I just don't share them.

I would be careful not to attack her for her preoccupations, especially as in this case it might come across as not just calling her boring, but as criticizing her children themselves, or her parenting. (And there might be reasons for her preoccupation: perhaps one or more or her children have special needs, for example?)

But it would be reasonable to reduce your efforts to keep in touch with her, especially as she herself doesn't seem to be putting a huge effort into it.

This.

I worked with a woman like this many moons ago. She would talk and talk about her grown children and their day to day business. They were the same age as me and I was expected to ooh and ahh if the son made himself a bowl of pasta or the daughter left her clothes in the linen bin without being asked. Lots of stuff like that!

I think the op has died of boredom.

Oof
I have friends like this. Being with one in particular is like being the recipient of a verbal Xmas round robin card
Dc1 is doing so well at school
Dc2 is amazing etc
Yawn

I cannot stand mummy bores. Motherhood takes some people in a really weird and tedious way.

She’s a particularly enduring case, however.

That's BS.