To tell my friend she’s boring

[tescovsasda]

My friend has always been a helicopter parent and her whole life is 100% about her DC. This was more understandable when the dc were little but now they’re all teenagers/young adults and it’s utterly tedious. When I get a call from her or pops over, I just know she’s got something to tell me about the dc - good results, friend issue etc. She’ll pretend to be interested in me for one minute before she has to start talking about the DC. She’ll even go on and on about their friends (who I don’t know). If I try to change the subject she doesn’t listen and continues to talk about her DC.
If we’re asked out by other friends, she usually doesn’t come as she doesn’t want to leave the DC on their own ( youngest is 14).
I wouldn’t actually tell her she is boring but how would you handle this?

🤣🤣

You might not love her parenting style or conversation, but that's up to her. You can try to change the subject. Or accept you've grown apart.

I don't love my best friends parenting style but I like her and so I accept it's not my choice.

No one wants to be called boring, and that's your opinion.

She can live her life how she chooses. If you don't like it, perhaps find other friends.

Does she have anyone else to talk about kids? Do her kids really have serious issues?
My DD has additional needs and there are very very few friends with whom I can talk about this. I can’t talk even with my parents.
I do try talk about my DD less but it’s often still quite a big chunk of the conversation sometimes.
Maybe your friend is in a similar position to mine?
However she can be just a type who loves offloading to other people and not interested in you personally. In this case I would stop to initiate meet ups.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

it is a bad thing cos the kids aren’t gonna be kids forever
they are gonna grow up and move out and have their own lives
and what will OP’s mate do then?!

@LuckySantangelo35 she will continue, my sister does 😀, now she’s moved to GC.

Other peoples kids are boring. Fact. Past a certain amount of kid talk and unless there is a real issue with a firned’s kid which necessitates attention I just zone out, so someone who narcissistically goes on about theirs must be really trying.

I totally disagree, I think the OP is behaving like a real friend here and providing constructive feedback would be the best thing for her.

People who only talk about their kids are boring and incredibly self-centred. If you go through life doing this you are going to struggle to make and keep friends. Surely better to learn that and be able to tackle it than just sit their placidly dying of boredom while she bangs on about her children?

I think you should tell her OP. Kindly and constructively. But you can point out that you're an old friend and you can't deal with it, a lot of people won't be as kind.

I worked beside a girl over 15 years ago who had small kids that she used to go on about alot. The worst was one day something went down on the school run. She came into work and rang her mam and relayed exactly what happened. Then she called her sister and repeated the same bloody conversation and then she rang her friend and did the same thing. That wasn't the worst of it because then she turned around to me and said "you wont believe what happened to me this morning" wherein I nearly screamed but because I am generally a nice person had to listen to her very boring BS story for the fourth fucking time. 😂

it is a bad thing cos the kids aren’t gonna be kids forever they are gonna grow up and move out and have their own lives and what will OP’s mate do then?!

My friend is totally enmeshed in her adult children and now grandchildrens lives. There’s constant visits back and forth, childcare, get togethers etc. They are literally her total life in terms of what she does and talks about. I understand that this is what she wants her life to be like and if it makes her happy that’s wonderful. I just don’t want to hear about every detail of all the kids lives and the friends and partners of their kids too. There’s so many of them I don’t know who’s who half the time. It would be good to talk about other stuff too.

@Crackof

its not subjective
if all someone can talk about is their kids that is boring
end of

This made me laugh out loud

@pizzaHeart

that’s true!

tho OP’s mate’s kids may decide they don’t want kids or cannot have them and so she doesn’t become a Grandmother- and then what?!

Yes OP your friend sounds absolutely boring. I want to know about my friends’ lives, not those of their children. I’m not friends with their kids, am I?!

OP what was your original reason for liking this person?

What @wizzywig said and cup your hands around your mouth for extra razzle dazzle!🤣

I have dropped friends like these. I am 51. I have spent over 20 years talking about DC. Now I want to talk about other things. Even " Spare" will do!

On the nose!

Your friend is going to be in for a hell of a shock when her children leave home. What would she do if they emigrated?

😂😂😂

I'd say oh god can we talk about something else for a change. All we ever seem to talk about is our kids.

But there's a reason I only have one friend. Two if you count my sister. Three if you count my husband.

I had a friend like this, all she talked about were her DC, they grew up, she got a puppy, all she talked about was the dog. I don’t see her anymore.

I know someone like this. She's lovely but is literally incapable of talking about anything else but her children. It's tedious, boring and irritating. I just accept that's who she is and we're not compatible as friends. Fade it out.

Shout "boring " as soon as she mentions her kids

Haha, what a tonic. That actually made me lol😂

This

Its just who she is. My sister is like this, when she was younger she talked about nothing but her job, every detail of her day and everyone she worked with. Then it was her dc, now they have moved out it's her job again. Put up with it or avoid her, in my case I put up with it because its my sister, don't think I would tolerate it with a friend