Taxi driver emotionally blackmailing me

[AmberAndAlexsMum]

Sounds drastic I know, but my ds (17) goes to an SEN college, which is 25 miles away. He gets a taxi, paid for by the council, to take him and bring him back.

Now ds has severe sleep issues, he's had all his life, and sometimes he simply cannot sleep at night and ends up too exhausted to go in. If this happens I always text the driver as early as possible.

Over the last 6 months or so, every time I've texted him to say ds isn't going in, he's responded by complaining that he's losing money as he only gets paid when the kids go in.

I appreciate that, but surely he doesn't have the right to emotionally blackmail me? He knows I'm empathic and don't like causing problems, but I'm beginning to think that he is deliberately doing this.

AIBU to expect him to accept that ds can't always go to college? I've had no problems with previous drivers and I always make sure to let them know before they leave home.

Most LA’s I’ve ever know pay them contract annually regardless of use.

If the driver is unhappy with his terms he should speak to his employer about said terms

What plan do you suggest a young man with learning difficulties should magically come up with to remove his difficulties? If it were that easy, do you imagine OP wouldn't have discovered it by now?

Do tell, what exactly do you suggest is his motivation in telling OP the same fact repeatedly, particularly when there is nothing she can do about his employment arrangements?

Do you actually understand what emotional blackmail is? This doesn't really fall into the category. He's just stating a fact. He doesn't get paid if they don't go in. He could be doing other paid jobs instead rather than being let down at the last minute and not being able to pre book anyone because you reserved him then cancelled.

Would he be happier hanging around a railway station when the trains are on strike?

If the driver is unhappy with his terms he should speak to his employer about said terms

That's very individualising. I guess neoliberalism is all pervasive - thatcher won after all.

I don't know if there is a union but I hope so and I hope that some collective action is possible to gain better conditions for drivers.

text to him
"the reality of these contracts is that disabled and SEN kids and teens often have unstable and complex health and support needs that sometimes that they can't reliably attend their place of education every single weekday in term time. The contract you have with the council is therefore flexible. If my son is too ill to attend school then please don't complain to me about the impact on you. It's the nature of the work, and if you aren't happy with your contract terms you need to talk to the council not to me."

Agree, as per usual its moron central on here.

I thought the 'M word' was disablist?

This isn't really for the taxi driver to address though to be fair. He is perfectly within his rights to refuse to carry on and let OP find another driver.

FFS, she didn't reserve him, it's a LA contract to transport a disabled young person to college...

The goverment website is information on ehcp plans from 19-25 years old. U said they stopped at 16. I disagreed. And showed u the government showing that. My daughter will have a plan untill 25 years . That doesn't back ur statment at all

I don’t think this should be moved to the SEN boards as the only way the utter ignorance on these threads will ever be addressed and corrected is if they stay within the main board, not hidden away as the very posters who post such utter crap seem to want to happen with our own children with sen!

He presumably has a contract with his employer. He could cancel it, but he would then lose all his income, not just what he gets for transporting OP's son. It's likely that on at least some of the days he doesn't take OP's son he gets alternative work so he's not as out of pocket as he makes out.

How exactly is it unreasonable of OP to have a disabled son?

it isn’t ok for the driver to express his frustration to the mother.
He is entitled to his feelings - and should be getting paid eg half, imo, regardless - but it is outrageous of him to express these to this woman with quite enough on her plate.

OP Please ignore the ignorant comments on here from parents/people who don't know how the council/taxi school transport system works for SEN students.. they've fucking clueless.

It isn't YOUR problem that he isn't getting paid, and if he isn't taking your son in, its up to his taxi company to make him available for other jobs instead.

Please speak to your council transport team, what the Taxi driver is doing is really unacceptable. Stop contacting him and once you have a new driver arranged by the SEN Transport Team, only ever cancel via the Team, stop contacting the taxi driver direct.

OP can't look for an alternative driver. The local authority will have a contract with the cab company, she has no control over the arrangements.

OFFs the drive will get paid if the child goes or not he is in a contract with the LA

No I didn’t. I said “No, it doesn’t only last until 16.”

It was another poster that said it stopped at 16. Not me.

What do you suggest is his motivation for repeating the same facts to OP several times, then? He's clearly not just giving her an interesting nugget of information, is he?

OP didn't book him, the local authority did. It's up to them to explain the nature of SEN work if it is sometimes unpredictable. He should provide a professional service - and if it's erratically used then he can take him complaint elsewhere.

He is perfectly within his rights to speak to his employer and ask for a change.

Hes not perfectly within his rights to have an emotionally blackmailing whinge about his finances to the mother of a child who is on some days not fit for school…

I apologise ironically I was up in night with disabled daughter so tired and obviously wasn't reading properly 😴

I would have thought that if it is a council contract, that he would be getting paid anyway, at least for short notice cancellations. The money is allocated to your son, regardless of whether he actually attends. Dare I say it - how would the council even know about the absence unless the driver and escort choose to tell them?

Maybe he is trying it on with you, perhaps in the hope you'll give him the supposed missing money?

And if you're anything like me, I expect you would rather your son was able to attend anyway. It's not as if you can change him.

@AmberAndAlexsMum please speak to your sen transport team this is not acceptable and is not your or your son’s fault, the drive is in contact with them not you he will be getting paid a salary that will be paid even if your son goes or not, you should be contacting the sen team to let them know your son will not be need there services and they will contact the driver and may use him for another run