Opened door into child’s face

[ShillyShallySherbet]

This afternoon I was with young DD in a tiny and crowded village hall vestibule waiting for an after school club to start and suddenly and desperately she needed the toilet, so I took her to the toilet. The main door to the toilets is a door you push with no window in it. Admittedly I was in a rush as I didn’t want DD to miss the start of her class and I pushed the door quite fast and it banged right into a small child’s face on the other side. The child started screaming and their mum, who was standing behind them about to pull the door from the other side, looked utterly livid. Of course I immediately apologised profusely to the mum and child but the child was so upset and the mum just shook her head at me and walked past us into the vestibule. I carried on into the toilets where DC decided she no longer need the toilet! On the way out I passed the mum comforting her child and apologised again. She ignored me. Eventually DD and the little girl, who had calmed down and was fine, went into their class but it was oh so awkward. It’s left me wondering did I deserve to be made to feel so awful. Please vote (getting my hard hat on)

YABU you should have opened the door more carefully anticipating someone could be on the other side

YANBU it was an accident and the mum should have accepted my apology

Totally get that you did nothing wrong. But equally I can see why she was pissy.

So you rush around when there is ice on the pavement? I doubt it. It's common sense stuff - why do you think schools of all places tell people not to rush around. What gives anyone the right to open a door fast knowing that someone may be behind it and not aware especially when the even had toddlers there.
I'll leave you too it.

I do think YABU to be crashing into a bathroom like an American SWAT team conducting a drug raid. It’s a bathroom run, not a hostage situation. 😂

That said, obviously the other mother could have been more gracious. I suspect she was also mad at herself and just wanted to deal with her child in the moment.

Dont allow your child to stand in places they could easy get hurt accidentally

Exactly this. If it hadn’t have been the OP (who could have been more cautious) it could have easily been another child barging the door open. I’ve been in toilets plenty of times when kids have rushed in because they need a wee and they just barge them open. The mother should move her small child away from a door that could open on them, she knew where the child was and the OP had no way of knowing. Ultimately it’s the mother’s fault.

I tell my DC to always be careful opening doors, because you just don't know what / who is behind them. I totally understand that the other lady was upset - you could've caused real damage to that child's face / head. However, it was an accident and you apologised. I wouldn't give it any more thought.

@Namechanger965, good grief, it's a DOOR! How are kids supposed to go anywhere if they can't stand in front of a door??

The excuses and minimizations here are ridiculous. In any situation when there's a chance someone might be injured by a lack of care or a self-centred decision that his schedule is the only one that matters, don't bust through doors.

This is not a problem in any other country I've lived in. It's only British men who have been raised to think the universe revolves around them.

Can’t believe the other mother has been called a ‘twat’ and a ‘knob’ on this thread. Her child was hurt and upset and just because she doesn’t bow and scrape to the op she deserves to be called those names? Those posters should be ashamed of themselves.

When a child has had a painful shock they do cry and as a parent your priority is checking on your child for lumps and cuts and comforting them,not making the other adult feel better.

So you know the child was ok after you and your child returned from the loo. Is this where you tried to apologise again and the parent ignored you? Did she definitely hear you. I wouldn't be too worried.
Yes, I think in a building running a child session, you should have been more careful, but the parent was probably a little annoyed at the time, protective over her child. Not something she would likely hold a grudge over.
If you are going go be at the same pick up sessions and she was weird next time you were next to each-other, I would just say "oh how was your daughter, I felt awful after it, I hope she's ok"

I know. Who does that? Some really strange people on here at times

YANBU. I still feel embarrassed about being rude and not accepting the apology of the woman who rear ended me a couple of years ago. I was quite arsey- out of shock really- but my van only had a tiny dent in it. (Her van, meanwhile, fell apart like a clown car and had to be towed away 😬). Even worse, she's a friend of friends.

So maybe now that mum has recovered from the shock, she's agonising over her ungraciousness!

WTF has british men got to do with it?

Accidents happen, if the OP had not been in a rush she still might have given the kid a bit of a bump. Do you go around screaming about british male entitlement everytime someone forgets to put down the next customer please sign at the checkouts?

This happened to my daughter, we were in public toilets, I was washing my hands and she stood by the door. I literally shouted 'don't stand behind the door' but it was too late, someone opened it a second later and knocked her flying so far she fell back into a toilet cubicle. The person apologised, I said it's OK, and hopefully now won't open the door as hard in future. Luckily my daughter was ok but it's a very easy way to break a nose or loose some teeth, especially if there's a metal handle at face height.

@Frabbits, if you're injuring people when going through doors, there's a problem and it's entitlement. Normal people take care.

YABU, you should never open a door with force, especially one to to a toilet as it is quite likely there is someone on the other side, and especially at a busy place with lots of young children.

By your own account it was quite forceful and I can understand the mother being annoyed with you. If it was a door opened with a normal push, yanbu, but that isn't what happened so you yabu. However, you feel bad about it so lesson learnt and move on.

It was an accident, you made a suitable apology and there was no serious harm done, the woman should have accepted your apology.

I agree. I'm not sure what they've done which is so unreasonable...they were just trying to exit the bathroom through the door! Should they have gone out the window?

There should always be windows in doors in a setting like that.

Just to answer a few things, yes I’m British but I’m female. However I’m not sure how that’s relevant.

It wasn’t a door to a toilet cubicle, it was the main door which led into a small narrow corridor (which is where the accident happened) and then there was another door at the end of the corridor into a large room with the toilet cubicles and hand basins. I had no idea of this layout as I’d never been in this place before.

Yes I was rushing as my child was saying she was bursting for the toilet and I didn’t want her to be late for the start of the class. I certainly didn’t barge the door open but equally I didn’t open it gingerly, it didn’t cross my mind there was a tiny corridor on the other side of the door and that a child would be there. I will certainly bear this in mind from now on.

I know I’m the one in the wrong here which is why I apologised profusely and I would never have expected the other mum to apologise as she did nothing wrong, so it’s not that. I just felt awkward and awful at the level of quietly seething anger she displayed towards me when I was clearly very sorry. She didn’t immediately comfort her crying child when it happened, she sort of ushered her past us and shook her head at me as I was apologising and then when I passed her on the way out and apologised again when her child had calmed down a bit she definitely and deliberately ignored me.

Anyway I will let it go now, lesson learned and if this thread has highlighted awareness and prevented someone else from making this mistake then it’s been worth it. Thanks for all your votes and comments.

@Antst

Well, I’m a British woman. So we must be a problem as well. I think the OP is a woman as well, given she was going into a woman’s toilet. What on earth does it have to do with British men?

I have 3 children, it’s not that difficult to not let them stand in doorways or in front of a door someone may open. Obviously they weren’t going through it otherwise the other mum would have been opening it, so the child must have been just left stood behind it, surely it’s common sense that they may then get injured. The OP doesn’t say she came barrelling through it, she pushed it open. Yes she could have gone slower, but who assumes there will be someone just standing in a doorway?

I will certainly bear this in mind from now on.

That's all anyone can ask. Having let this go, hope you have a lovely weekend, OP.

The mum was behind the child in the small corridor about to reach out over the child and open the door when I opened it from the other side.

I literally don’t think you have anything to apologise for beyond a simple “sorry” when it happened. If the kid had broken their nose or you’d knocked them out then maybe it would be different but it sounded like the mum was a bit of a drama queen. It takes nothing to say “thanks for the apology, don’t worry she’s fine” and move on. Don’t bear yourself up OP!

Anyway I will let it go now, lesson learned and if this thread has highlighted awareness and prevented someone else from making this mistake then it’s been worth it.

To be fair OP, I go to a weekly baby class and use the loos there at least once, if not twice. I will definitely be more mindful of who might be behind the door the next time I go!

• beat yourself up