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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How far are you from your nearest A&E and could you get your husband there quickly if you had to?

204 replies

verdantverdure · 05/01/2023 17:11

And what would you do with the children?

One of my neighbours had to get her husband to hospital recently in the absence of an ambulance and it took a borrowed wheelchair and several neighbours.

Am I being unreasonable to think most of us don't have a plan for this?

Could most of us get our partners to hospital fast enough in the event of a stroke or heart attack?

What's your plan?

OP posts:
Willyoujustbequiet · 05/01/2023 21:01

How are people getting them in and out the car though?

This happened to us last year and by the time we got the 20 mins to hospital I needed 4 nurses to help put him on a stretcher. Simply not possible if you are by yourself.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 05/01/2023 21:07

I’m 5 minutes away from a major teaching hospital. 111 sent an ambulance when my DH had a heart attack. I called my mum who lives in the same city - she was here in 15 minutes to look after my children then I drove the 5 mins to the hospital to be with him.

3luckystars · 05/01/2023 21:09

5 minutes

we have a defibrillator in our housing estate also

tulippa · 05/01/2023 21:09

I could drive DH to A+E and it would take about 20 minutes depending on the time of day. If he had collapsed I would have absolutely no hope of getting him in the car by myself though. I tried it about 20 years ago when he was passed out drunk. I couldn't even get him from the sofa to the bed in the next room. I'd probably have to get the neighbours to help. DCs are teens so they could look after themselves.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 05/01/2023 22:40

Willyoujustbequiet · 05/01/2023 21:01

How are people getting them in and out the car though?

This happened to us last year and by the time we got the 20 mins to hospital I needed 4 nurses to help put him on a stretcher. Simply not possible if you are by yourself.

I'd imagine people would do the same as you and get nurses or porters or whoever to help? Confused

Untitledsquatboulder · 02/03/2023 15:18

For childrens a&e 20 minutes, for adults it's half an hour to an hour here, depending on the time of day. I would try for an ambulance first though as there is a paramedic station nearby and I've had them turn up really quickly when we've made category 1 calls.

I do have a car and can drive and there are plenty of neighbours to help get dh into it if needs be. Kids are old enough to be left but again there are plenty of neighbours I could leave them with if they were younger.

There's so a defibrillator at the sports club at the end of the road, could get to that in 2 min.

Honoraryuce · 02/03/2023 15:23

10 or 15min depending on which A&E. At rush hour i'd call an ambulance as it could take an hour to drive.

LeFeu · 02/03/2023 15:28

We’re a 5 minute drive from a big A&E. my neighbours would help, and our good friends are also a 5 minute drive away and have stepped in when I had to go to A&E previously.

recently my dog was in an accident and the help from neighbours, unbidden, was amazing - helped me catch him when he ran off in a panic, another chap drove me to the vet, different family took the kids in whilst I went. I have no doubt they’d be the same if my husband needed help. (Doggo is fine now!)

ProfYaffle · 02/03/2023 15:32

We're in a rural area, A&E 35 to 60 min drive depending on traffic. We do have a variety of community responders and the GP will take emergency walk ins though so I'd probably do something like that.

user1471592953 · 02/03/2023 15:57

I’ve got an arrangement with a local friend. She would come and look after our DC if DH needed hospital and the situation was so dire I needed to go with him. Her children are older so can be left. She did think I was a bit morbid to ask though!

Buzzinwithbez · 02/03/2023 16:06

20 minute drive but there's a defib 3 mins jog away.

honeyrider · 02/03/2023 18:07

A couple of minutes, I live opposite the hospital. I'm also a first responder so hopefully I'd be able to cope until I got help.

sheep73 · 02/03/2023 18:28

Ambulance service here is dire and we are rural so in an emergency I wouldnt wait for an ambulance. The drive is about 45 mins.

HeidiWhole · 02/03/2023 18:31

I doubt it - he's a lot bigger than me. If the kids were at home we could possibly manage it between us but we have a flight of stairs up to the front door so it would be hard.
My uncle recently waited 5 hours for an ambulance after a heart attack though so I would do my best, especially as the hospital is close.

Lougle · 02/03/2023 18:54

verdantverdure · 05/01/2023 17:11

And what would you do with the children?

One of my neighbours had to get her husband to hospital recently in the absence of an ambulance and it took a borrowed wheelchair and several neighbours.

Am I being unreasonable to think most of us don't have a plan for this?

Could most of us get our partners to hospital fast enough in the event of a stroke or heart attack?

What's your plan?

I misread this and thought you'd borrowed a wheelbarrow!

Ultimately if DH collapsed I'd call an ambulance. They can provide immediate care on the journey to hospital.

Original poster
verdantverdure · 02/03/2023 18:57

What prompted this thread is the likelihood of an ambulance not being available to be sent.

OP posts:
CheersForThatEh · 02/03/2023 19:00

verdantverdure · 02/03/2023 18:57

What prompted this thread is the likelihood of an ambulance not being available to be sent.

If I couldn't for any reason or couldn't reach a neighbour or family then I'd message our local facebook group, it's really friendly and someone would take him. 10 min drive.

Original poster
verdantverdure · 02/03/2023 19:01

honeyrider · 02/03/2023 18:07

A couple of minutes, I live opposite the hospital. I'm also a first responder so hopefully I'd be able to cope until I got help.

How would you get him there if help didn't come?

OP posts:
sheep73 · 02/03/2023 19:04

verdantverdure no way around here you'd wait for an ambulance - just start driving

LakieLady · 02/03/2023 19:07

9.5 miles to A&E. When I had to take my DP in, it took 40 minutes to get there, but we left at 7.50, so rush hour traffic. It would probably be quite a bit quicker in the middles.

It might have been quicker if the main road for much of the way still had 2 lanes for cars, but one lane is a bus lane.

He didn't make it.

Lampzade · 02/03/2023 19:09

Five minute drive.
One of the reasons we bought this particular house

Motnight · 02/03/2023 19:14

15 min drive. When my husband has a stroke it took 23 minutes from us calling an ambulance to him receiving care in hospital.

Also when he collapsed we were literally 90 seconds walk away from a hospital. I found an abondined wheel chair, got him in it and pushed him there. The timing then undoubtedly saved his life.

Motnight · 02/03/2023 19:15

LakieLady · 02/03/2023 19:07

9.5 miles to A&E. When I had to take my DP in, it took 40 minutes to get there, but we left at 7.50, so rush hour traffic. It would probably be quite a bit quicker in the middles.

It might have been quicker if the main road for much of the way still had 2 lanes for cars, but one lane is a bus lane.

He didn't make it.

I am so sorry.

Conkersinautumn · 02/03/2023 19:18

About 15 mins in the car. Its hard to plan as there are so many variables.Mainly my husband works away all week. Chances are a&e would be
from a hotel or work.

WiddlinDiddlin · 02/03/2023 19:30

No. I can't drive and I use a wheelchair.

If I can drive my wheelchair into the car (so well enough to negotiate the ramp out the back, out the back gate, along the path and through the carpark to our car and then up the ramp...) then he can take me, yes.

If I can't get into my chair then no, he can't get me out of the house, at all.

Yup, we do feel pretty vulnerable and we don't have neighbours who would help, (one defo wouldn't, the others would be next to useless anyway).