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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How far are you from your nearest A&E and could you get your husband there quickly if you had to?

204 replies

verdantverdure · 05/01/2023 17:11

And what would you do with the children?

One of my neighbours had to get her husband to hospital recently in the absence of an ambulance and it took a borrowed wheelchair and several neighbours.

Am I being unreasonable to think most of us don't have a plan for this?

Could most of us get our partners to hospital fast enough in the event of a stroke or heart attack?

What's your plan?

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 05/01/2023 17:54

Pretty difficult to get an unresponsive man into and out of a car. My DH had to do this recently. Took 4 men to get the patient into the cat and 6 (including paramedics with the right equipment) to get them out again at A&E

bigbluebus · 05/01/2023 17:54

Into the car obviously - not the cat 😂

BodyShapeWoes · 05/01/2023 17:55

Nearest A&E a good hour away depending on traffic

Nearest MIU a good 40 mins depending on traffic

I would leave the kids at home and ask my neighbours to check on them (both old enough ish to be left until I could get hold of a family member none of whom live close)

MrPickles73 · 05/01/2023 17:57

I've had to do it before.. wouldn't wait for an ambulance.. it takes about 40mins for us assuming night time i.e. no traffic. The neighbours watched TV whilst the kids were still asleep.

Dis626 · 05/01/2023 17:57

I can get to A&E in about 10 minutes. I'm a lone parent, but I've rushed my DS there many times with asthma. It's quicker than waiting for an ambulance.

OooScotland · 05/01/2023 17:58

I’d have to call a neighbour (rural farming community so anyone would help) to come and take him (20 minutes to cottage hospital which amazingly has its own emergency ambulances, nearest actual A&E is an hour and a half away)

We have a car but I can’t drive for medical reasons.

Scottish Highlands, No kids.

Redcrayons · 05/01/2023 17:59

3 miles away, 10/15 mins in the car.

I could take someone if they could walk, but an unconscious adult, probably not.

There is a defib outside the shops about 1/4 mile away, I hadn’t really thought about that before, but I could get to that quickly.

MrsMullerBecameABaby · 05/01/2023 17:59

I could drive him there but I couldn't carry him! I'm pretty sure that if all the (teens) children were home we could between us. Neighbours are pretty neighbourly around here too.

Luckily it was a massive scandal recently that ambulances are taking 12 minutes on average locally so I'd still call an ambulance. Our local hospital isn't great for everything and has no children's ward (will only treat outpatients and send any child needing admitting on to a hospital 40 minutes away) but it does have a cardiac centre.

Greenalien1 · 05/01/2023 18:00

I'm single but if I had a partner then I know my neighbours would help me get him in the car then I'd bomb it down the motorway to get to my nearest a and e (about 40 minutes but could probably do it in 30) if I drove fast enough as its all motorway and dual carriageway. I'd get my mum to meet us there and collect my son as she lives alot closer

HerRoyalNotness · 05/01/2023 18:03

It’s about 10mins and they have an air ambulance it they need to take him to the need centre downtown. I’d struggle to lift him in the car but one of the neighbours would help. Eldest is now old enough to stay home and mind the youngest.

I’ve had to do this with DC2 and took DC1 with me. Didn’t occur to me to call an ambulance at the time. Got him in the car and raced to the hospital, carried him in unconscious in his underpants. Was taken straight in (all ended up ok)

BadShepherd · 05/01/2023 18:03

2 hours. Defib up the road. Coastguard if necessary. But someone else spoke of community spirit in the boondocks. About 2 hours ago a fire engine went past - closely followed by at least 5 of my male neighbours. Nobody is going to let a friend/neighbours house burn. (False alarm thank god!)

InfinityOrUndefined · 05/01/2023 18:03

My df got a stroke but resisted ambulance. Dm and taxi dtiver helped him to the a&e, which was empty!?, treatment started straight away and no non lasting effects. This was in Finland.
Not sure what I would do here. I don't drive although I know how to drive but not on the insurance. Probably would ask a lift from neighbours.

GrohlOnAPole · 05/01/2023 18:05

We’d be there in 5-10 mins in the car. I’d ask the neighbours to watch the kids.

Zingy123 · 05/01/2023 18:05

Yes and I had to. I drove us and parked at the drop off zone. He was having a heart attack. I took him in and then moved the car.

Caramac555 · 05/01/2023 18:07

25 mins drive and I once managed to haul him into the car after a cycling accident so as long as he's not out cold I reckon I could move him.

I would call my mum to look after kids, in the 35 mins or so it would take her to arrive I would ask a neighbour to stay with them. I would absolutely help my neighbours if needed.

YesThisIsMe · 05/01/2023 18:07

About 3 miles, 15 minutes by car depending on traffic. I can't drive but could get an Uber in about ten minutes unless it was at last orders time on a Saturday night. If I needed help then neighbourhood WhatsApp group would rally round, nurse mate lives just round the corner.

Fortunately my "DC" are not actually children - they might not be an enormous amount of help, but they wouldn't need babysitting.

Ponderingwindow · 05/01/2023 18:09

Closest a&e is about 15 minutes with no traffic, 30 with traffic. If I could get him in the car I could get him there.

I had to do this once with my XH. He was severely injured and in shock. I couldn’t lift him, but he managed to stumble along as I guided/dragged him to the car. We were in the countryside pre-cell phones so I was the only option to get him help.

my dd was in an accident a few years back. She was small, but there is zero chance we could have brought her in ourselves. The paramedics were only able to move her after giving her extremely large doses of narcotics and building custom splints to stabilize her broken bones. thankfully they were on scene within 5 minutes of getting the call.

GrohlOnAPole · 05/01/2023 18:12

I rang an ambulance for my dad earlier in the year and they said it would be 9+ hours…. I got 3 of his neighbours to help me get him into my car. Drove him to A&E, got him in using their wheelchair and then had a 17 hr wait until he was admitted! It was exhausting but ultimately he got the care he needed.

glamourousindierockandroll · 05/01/2023 18:13

I could sort this if needed.

Hospital is five minutes away and we have quite a few childcare options as we have purposefully stayed close to family

emwithme · 05/01/2023 18:14

It's about a 5 - 10 minute drive away and I had to do it in January 2021 when he broke his leg on the driveway. Assisted him into the car then got a wheelchair from the drop off into A&E. Then had to leave him alone because of COVID, only able to drop a bag to him at the door for a nurse to take up post surgery, and he was wheeled to me at the door the day after to come home.

edwinbear · 05/01/2023 18:15

I had to do this about a year ago. DH fainted and banged his head on the kitchen units, I was still upstairs getting ready for the day, DD (10) was with DH downstairs when it happened. She came screaming upstairs that "Daddy was dead" I obviously legged it downstairs to see blood all over the (white) kitchen and DH out cold. I have had a lot of first training thankfully. Checked to make sure he wasn't actually dead, grabbed the first aid kit, quickly assessed, saw a fairly big head injury. DS (12) used a bandage to apply pressure, I called 999. They said the wait would be c.1hr and it would be faster to drive him, I tried to stand him up to get him to the car but he passed out again. The controller said he'd wait whilst I tried to get him in the car once he'd come round again, which we managed. Left DC at home (perfectly fine at 10 & 12 under the circumstances) and got him to A&E within about 15 mins. He was seen immediately, had about 15 staples in his head and was back home by about lunchtime. It was a bit frightening but I was glad I'd had the training I have and was able to keep calm and think logically. I am actually considering buying a defib for home. The guy that took my last (kids rugby) first aid course has one at home.

WetBandits · 05/01/2023 18:17

15 mins drive, but I have the added benefit of being a nurse trained in emergency care so I would be in a much better position to manage him whilst waiting for help than the average member of the public. If we ever found ourselves in such an awful predicament, which I hope we never would, I would shout for a neighbour to help (most of them are around during the day) and then ask them to drive whilst I delivered whatever care he needed.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/01/2023 18:19

Hospitals not far but I’m a single parent so no husband to take me. Taxi or hope a friend could I guess.

That said, the ambulance came v quickly when I needed them in 2020

Clarabellasingsthisbit · 05/01/2023 18:19

A 10 min drive +15-20 min wait for DD or Son-in-law to get here as we'd depend on them for a lift in the absence of an ambulance.

Polkadotpolkadot · 05/01/2023 18:22

8 minutes drive. Could do it in 5. We lived 45 mins away a few years ago and with a disabled husband having a number of health conditions requiring urgent hospital admission I hated it!

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