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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How far are you from your nearest A&E and could you get your husband there quickly if you had to?

204 replies

verdantverdure · 05/01/2023 17:11

And what would you do with the children?

One of my neighbours had to get her husband to hospital recently in the absence of an ambulance and it took a borrowed wheelchair and several neighbours.

Am I being unreasonable to think most of us don't have a plan for this?

Could most of us get our partners to hospital fast enough in the event of a stroke or heart attack?

What's your plan?

OP posts:
Lilgamesh2 · 05/01/2023 19:20

999 told me a 1 hr wait for an ambulance when my DD was having an allergic reaction. Fortunately an Uber came within 5 mins and when we got to the hospital they rushed her through for immediate treatment within minutes (there was a queue outside).

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 05/01/2023 19:28

@Lilgamesh2 he's alive which is the important thing! He's home now and improving. Thanks for asking.

kegofcoffee · 05/01/2023 19:29

We're lucky enough to be less than 5 minutes from our local A&E.

But if my husband couldn't get himself into the car, I wouldn't be able to move him. So I'd be dependent on neighbours being available to help.

The way things currently are. If we could physically get in the car we'd drive to A&E rather than call an ambulance. It'd definitely be quicker than waiting to get through to 999 and then waiting for an ambulance.

worriedmama202 · 05/01/2023 19:29

A&e is less than a mile away, we can drive there in 2 minutes and I realise we are extremely fortunate in that case although I'm not sure how long it would take for them to actually see us. I couldn't lift DH alone but definitely have neighbours I could knock on for some help, BIL and FIL also live/work 15-20 mins drive away so if need be I could call them. As for DC I'd have to drive her to my mums or sisters around 10 mins away.
I've never really thought about it but thankfully we have enough support around us I think not to have to have a thorough plan.

Fifthtimelucky · 05/01/2023 19:34

I once had to take mine (about 18 years ago). Not a stroke or heart attack, but he was in great pain and it turned out to be an aortic aneurysm. He refused to let me call for an ambulance.

A&E is about 25 mins away (assuming good traffic) and the children were about 5 and 7.

He could just about walk to and from the car, and we put the car seat as flat as it would go, which was the most comfortable position for him. He hobbled out at A&E and I just left him there and took the children home.

In other circumstances I might have left the children with my neighbour, but I knew she wasn't there as we'd just got back from one of her children's birthday parties, also 30 mins away, and they hadn't arrived home yet.

lurchermummy · 05/01/2023 19:36

We're about 30 mins by road on country lanes so a wheelbarrow would not do the job, no

IncessantNameChangerWithDyslexiaAndADegree · 05/01/2023 19:39

I wouldn't be able to lift him for a start. But I'm.pretty sure my neighbours would help move him to the car. You can park outside A&E

GiltEdges · 05/01/2023 19:44

We’re a 5-7 minute drive from our nearest A&E, traffic depending. In an emergency, I imagine I’d call round to next door and ask them to watch DS/help get DH in the car so I could drive him to A&E myself.

We’re also fortunate to have a nurse and two Drs (husband and wife) as immediate neighbours, on account of the local hospital, so I’m comfortable that there’s normally someone around who’d be able/willing to assist.

Thefailinghousewife · 05/01/2023 19:51

Dh collapsed last year with chest pains, the ambulance took 40 mins to arrive and it took a second crew to come and help move him down the stairs because of the bend in our stairs and the chair they needed. It was horrific! So no, sadly deffo couldn’t move him - we are a 45 mins drive from the hospital as we are really rural. My neighbour (5mins walk away) is an ex paramedic though, and she would come and help.

cptartapp · 05/01/2023 19:52

We are a good twenty minutes away. No young DC to sort out but we live semi rurally with only one neighbour who works full time and no family in the county.
Not sure what I'd do if on my own.
This is part of the reason we plan to prepare for old age over the next decade and move somewhere more 'convenient' as we become older, frailer and more likely to become unwell.

VaccineSticker · 05/01/2023 19:56

verdantverdure · 05/01/2023 17:11

And what would you do with the children?

One of my neighbours had to get her husband to hospital recently in the absence of an ambulance and it took a borrowed wheelchair and several neighbours.

Am I being unreasonable to think most of us don't have a plan for this?

Could most of us get our partners to hospital fast enough in the event of a stroke or heart attack?

What's your plan?

What’s the point of this thread? To highlight how shit the situation is, as if we don’t know?
to make us realise how vulnerable and helpless we all are at the moment as if we don’t already feel this way?

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 05/01/2023 19:57

I'm probably less than a five minute drive if it's not rush hour. Kids are old enough to fend for themselves. Years ago when DH collapsed with swine flu, in the middle of a very cold snap in early 2010 when there was thick snow everywhere, I called an ambulance. I don't think we had a car then either.

If it was reversed DH would call an ambulance as he doesn't drive. Or he might ask next door to help.

lljkk · 05/01/2023 19:58

~45 minute drive.
When DH drove me in, and came to visit (I was in for 5 days), we got friends & neighbours to mind the many young DC.
My Aunt & Uncle once looked after a neighbour's 3 kids < 6yo for 5 days.

thaegumathteth · 05/01/2023 19:59

25 minute drive. I couldn't carry him if that's what you mean. Kids would have to come in the car with us. No family nearby - neighbours or friends would have them I'm sure if time allowed.

ThorsMistress · 05/01/2023 20:00

I have 2 major hospitals both would take around 20 mins to get to. Both in opposite directions.

Yes I think I could. 2 DC but I could get them cared for in 2 mins as that’s how far away my mum lives from me.

Nevermind31 · 05/01/2023 20:01

10 mins in car. Neighbours would help getting him on the car and stay with kids.

MilkyYay · 05/01/2023 20:08

I would:

  • call 999
  • send out a message for help in my community. There are 6 doctors living within a 5 min walk, all of whom are friends of ours. I think there are probably quite a few more just not close friends.Id hope they could tell me safest position to put him in/transport him etc. There are also 3 defibrillators in public locations all within 5 minutes walk, 1 is around a minute away. Several friends are first aiders including DH.
  • if told the ambulance would be 30 min plus away and friends said it was safe to move him, id drive him to A&E 20 minutes away.
caringcarer · 05/01/2023 20:08

10 miles about 13 minutes. I'd drive him if I had to.

MilkyYay · 05/01/2023 20:09

Oh and loads of neighbours who'd help with kids/getting him in car.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 05/01/2023 20:17

I dont have a DH but can see the hospital from my house, 5 minutes walk, although took me decidedly longer when I walked home after having DD, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Roughly 3-4 minute drive but most of that would be navigating the car park

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 05/01/2023 20:19

It's a 45 min drive for us which is concerning. On occasion, it's taken up to an hour and half in heavy traffic. For appointments at the hospital we always set off to allow an hour and a half to get there.

My daughter was kept in hospital overnight when she had her tonsils out because we live this far away. They were concerned that if she had post operative bleeding (her tonsils were huge and it was a more complicated surgery, with quite a bit of tissue left in place) we would be delayed in getting help.

Also, my husband has already had a huge procedure on his heart within the last year and it has crossed my mind that if he has further complications, would car or ambulance be quicker?

My grandson had another prolonged seizure on Tuesday and the GP told my daughter it would be quicker to take him to hospital in the car, rather than wait for an ambulance, which she did. The consultant was very sharp with her for doing this as he could've had further seizures on the way. She was doing what she was told.

I had her other two children while she spent the whole day there with him.

It's scary to have to think about not being able to rely on emergency services.

pigsducksandchickens · 05/01/2023 20:35

Our local (20min drive) closes at night so no, closest one is 45 mins on a good day away. I have two big sons who could easily get him in a car though, and dad has a wheelchair we could use. Worrying though.

Quisquam · 05/01/2023 20:38

Yes, I would ring up DS, who lives 10 minutes away in one direction and son in law, a GP who lives 10 minutes away in another direction to ask them to come over asap to help me get DH into the car, and then we’d all go to A & E.

We have a wheelchair and we would use that to wheel him into A & E. Hopefully GP, son in law would use the right language to get DH medical help as soon as possible!

londonrach · 05/01/2023 20:46

5 mins and yes and about 13 years ago my mum took a poorly breathing 3 month old (my neice her granddaughter) by car 2 mins without car seats to a&e on my Dsis lap as quicker....dn was two days in hospital afterwards and couldn't fault the staff and would have been a possible cot death (none smoking house, dn bf unlike my DD who ff so no reason s why but blue in face and floppy until my brother in law got her back and ambulance said we be half an hour and mum...I have keys let's go now...2 mins)..... Dn vvvvv healthy normal tbh lovely 13 year old and a pleasure to know. So yes if vvv close

OoooohMatron · 05/01/2023 20:47

15 minute drive and I'd knock up my next door neighbour to watch the DC.

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