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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How far are you from your nearest A&E and could you get your husband there quickly if you had to?

204 replies

verdantverdure · 05/01/2023 17:11

And what would you do with the children?

One of my neighbours had to get her husband to hospital recently in the absence of an ambulance and it took a borrowed wheelchair and several neighbours.

Am I being unreasonable to think most of us don't have a plan for this?

Could most of us get our partners to hospital fast enough in the event of a stroke or heart attack?

What's your plan?

OP posts:
YerAWizardHarry · 05/01/2023 17:26

We live a 19 minute drive to the hospital and have both have to get each other to A&E over the past year however both were mobile. Our neighbours took the kids one time and DS went to his dads another

WendelineTestaburger · 05/01/2023 17:27

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BookedOut · 05/01/2023 17:30

I would put out a ‘please help’ message on our neighbourhood WhatsApp and I’m pretty sure would have several people at the door in 5 minutes. DC are old enough to stay in the house by themselves for a few hours.

Letitrainletitrainletitrain · 05/01/2023 17:31

40 minutes

I can't drive so I couldn't take my DH. I have many neighbours I could ask and 4 I know who are home most days. I'm surrounded by farmers so I could get someone to help me get him in a vehicle if necessary and I'm pretty strong myself. Plus we have an ex firefighter next door who is good at living advice and first aid advice.

We have a defibrillator 30 seconds from the house if required

I don't have children but there are three families around who would probably come to me for emergency childcare (I babysit for 2 regularly as a favour and I'm right next to the third so I am the likeliest choice) then there is a fourth family who might come to me if their nearest neighbour was out.

One of the downsides to living rurally is the distance to the hospital. One of rhe upsides is that I am in a close knit community and I know who to call on for help and I help out when needed.

TimBoothseyes · 05/01/2023 17:32

Allowing for traffic on a good day, it's around 1hour's drive, on a bad day it can take up to 2 hours to get there. My car is small (2 seater), and DP's isn't much bigger....certainly not big enough to lie down in. No chance of me getting him there within the "golden hour".

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/01/2023 17:34

DH is tall and built like a brick shithouse. I couldn't get him down the stairs.

Next door is a coastguard with a van though. Useful in an emergency!

Simonjt · 05/01/2023 17:35

Our nearest A&E is about 1.5m away, I have had to take him (badly injured but not broken ankle), I drove there and took the two children with us.

Hoardasurass · 05/01/2023 17:37

I live in a Scottish city and the nearest A&E is in the middle of the next city over 20+ miles down the motorway so can't walk to it and it takes 2 hours on the bus or 1-2 hours by car depending on traffic. Oh and it was the Scottish Labour government who decided to close our local A&E but the SNP who went ahead and closed it. I know of 30+ people who have died or had serious consequences from the delay in getting seen. They also removed all maternity services too but had to bring them back because so many women were delivering their babies in ambulances (me aswell) or at home or in the car on the side of the motorway.

CalistoNoSolo · 05/01/2023 17:37

Nearest a&e is around 40mins. I could drive him there but if he wasn't able to walk I'd probs call my firefighter friend for help.

Clovacloud · 05/01/2023 17:37

4 A&E’s and they are all about an hour away. I’d put husband in the car and drive him. But half my friends in my town can’t drive or own a car. There is no way they could afford a cab, so ambulance would be the only only way, they’d have no choice.

TimBoothseyes · 05/01/2023 17:38

Posted too soon.

My neighbours are mostly elderly and the 3 that aren't work shifts so it would depend on whether they are there as to whether they could help. We live in a bungalow so stairs aren't our main concern although the car is parked in a residents car park so would have to get him across to it. It's not a stroke or heart attack that worries me though. DP is epileptic and if he has a prolonged seizure (more than 2 minutes), then we are utterly screwed as it's impossible (and downright dangerous), to move him while he's having a tonic clonic.

user1795437 · 05/01/2023 17:39

Yes. I would have to get the neighbours to help get him in the car though, we are mostly retired up our road so plenty of people around, 2 x A&E, 30 minutes away in different directions

4thtimeunlucky · 05/01/2023 17:42

I have teen children so they could look after themselves if I needed to take DH to hospital. I could drive to the nearest A and E in 20-25 minutes assuming motorways traffic was flowing. Actually getting DH in a car I would struggle with if he was too ill to move. He is a foot taller than me and 4st heavier but in any case if someone can't support their own weight it is difficult to move them. I have good neighbours though so I'm confident there would be someone around to help in an emergency.

PizzaPastaWine · 05/01/2023 17:43

WeAreBorg · 05/01/2023 17:21

Fortunately I don’t have a husband so that’s one less stress

And perhaps one of the many reasons not to get one!

pasha86 · 05/01/2023 17:44

This actually just happened to my elderly mother. My father had a stroke, they didn't know at the time. Some neighbours helped him into the car and my mum drove him to a&e. Rushed into reception and asked for help. The receptionist said they wouldn't send anyone to help as 'he obviously was able to get in the car'. This comment sticks with me. It took 3 strong middle aged men to get him into the car. My 80 year old mother then had to struggle with him to get him into a wheelchair and bring him into reception. An utter utter dis grace Warwick hospital!

EndlessRain1 · 05/01/2023 17:45

It's a 15 min drive and we have 2 cars so could pop the kids in the car and go as long as he was mobile enough to get into the car. He weighs 100 kg so if he wasn't mobile I couldnt' get him into the car, in which case I would need to call an ambulance. Two of our neighbours are doctors, so hopefully they would be able to assist if needed.

TenoringBehind · 05/01/2023 17:45

Two possibles in opposite directions. 30-40 minutes away if there’s no traffic.

Allywill · 05/01/2023 17:47

It’s about a 35 min drive. Kids are grown up but so no issue there but if he was not mobile I couldn’t lift him and if he was conscious he would refuse to go. He hates our local hospital with a vengeance as he blames them for the death of his father.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 05/01/2023 17:48

A Category A ambulance call took over 2 hours to get to my db who was having a heart attack recently. SIL was told not to move him.

Cranarc · 05/01/2023 17:48

20 mins away. But I could not do much in the way of helping DH into the vehicle as he is nearly 3 times my weight. Vice versa would also be difficult as he has bad legs, although we could probably call a taxi and get the driver to help him get me in the car.

Sceptre86 · 05/01/2023 17:50

Without an ambulance I'd have to ring a taxi and take the kids with us. I'd then ask bil to meet me at the hospital and take the kids to his so I could stay with my dh. My neighbours are nice but we don't have that kind of relationship and my children are much younger than theirs and would need more supervision and probably comfort (if they saw their dad poorly). It would take 15-20minutes.

Blossomandbee · 05/01/2023 17:50

I could if he could walk to the car. It would take several people to move him otherwise.
I have neighbours that I could knock on if need be. We're a 5 minute drive from our local hospital, although it's one of the ones that have declared a critical incident so he probably wouldn't be seen quickly.

willingtolearn · 05/01/2023 17:51

I have a plan but that's because he has particular issues that necessitate it.

I know where all the defibrillators are locally and I would send someone for one whilst calling 999. It should take under 5 minutes to get one unlocked and back to us unless they've been vandalised (which happens).

If I needed to transport to hospital it would be with them in the back of the car in case of collapse with a defib and another person in the front in case we needed to do roadside CPR.

I'm lucky - my children are old enough to leave/ help and we all know CPR. When they were younger I know neighbours would have sat with them at night/taken them in the day - as I would do for them.

Defibrillators are being placed in public at quite a good rate, as well as bleed kits. I really think it's worth finding out where they are local to you and what to do to access them (Call 999 basically and they will give you the code to unlock)

There are lots of resources available to help everyone learn CPR - St John's ambulance resources are good.

Chatterboxy · 05/01/2023 17:53

I could drive to local A&E in 10 minutes, but anything stroke related is a 40 minute drive away.

Fairislefandango · 05/01/2023 17:54

My teen dc and I could get him to the car. It's a 15 min drive to an Urgent Treatment Centre at my nearest (small) hospital or 30 mins to a&e at the big hospital.

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