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Original poster

Lodger cranks up heating to 25

582 replies

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 10:37

My partner left a few years ago and I had time off work for burnout and now in a less stressful (lower paid) role so on a tight income. I rent 2 rooms to help cover my mortgage and bills (about 40%).

The house is heated to 18-21 degrees depending on the room / personal preference, using Nest thermostats (called TRVs) on each radiator. It is lowered at 11pm until 5.30am, meaning it's warm for about an hour after going to bed and it heats up for a few hours before the lodgers get up.

One lodger is very happy with this and prefers a cooler room so sometimes turns it down.

But the other constantly overrides this and heats his room to 25. When I've tried to speak to him about it he answers his door in a tshirt and is only wearing normal socks. The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa.

We seem to be in a battle of wills. He goes along with my suggested times and temperatures in discussion but has done everything including claiming his radiator and the TRV don't work, disconnecting the TRV but trying to make it look as though it's connected, saying it won't connect and pulling the little pin out with a pair of pliers to force the heating on. He leaves it on all night. The thermostat when it's reading says 25-26.

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night. So we prefer lots of layers and a quiet night unless we're in a cold patch.

I've offered him extra duvets and blankets (his looks thin) and a hot water bottle but he refuses. I've asked him to discuss the times he wants the heating on and to talk about the heating.

He says the temperature reading is wrong so I gave him a wireless thermostat which showed the same temperature as the TRV and showed it was correct.

I've explained about the increasing cost of gas and showed him my bills. I've showed him the temperatures in the rest of the house and that we are comfortable.

This is the second winter we are having these issues. Last year his sister died so I just kept my mouth shut and left him to it but I felt really unhappy.

Do I just suck it up, winter will be over soon and I'm not making a loss. Or do I tell him it's not acceptable and ask him to leave? Or is it better the devil you know, this is the only issue.

A friend suggested a locking cover to go over the TRV, I'm so irritated it's tempting but is that really ethical? And anyway would he then just get an electric heater? I don't go into his room and I would never snoop.

He's a 44 year old man having to rent a room and it must be his sanctuary and private space.

Do I just let him win the battle and chill out?

OP posts:
WendelineTestaburger · 05/01/2023 14:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Flapjackquack · 05/01/2023 14:22

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 14:13

@Quincythequince If I was your tenant I would take you to the small claims court for the cost of a room at premier inn for a month minus the rent I would have paid you. I would probably win as well. And a very easy legal process to do.

Well unless your rent was weekly…

Nanny0gg · 05/01/2023 14:31

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 13:42

Thanks all, goodness some very diverse views and passionate responses. Not sure I agree with some of the judgements and assumptions/ accusations but it's certainly very helpful to consider the situation from different perspectives.

Why don't you just evict him?

starfishmummy · 05/01/2023 14:36

For me its not the heat that would be the issue. Tampering with the thermostat and then the disrespect of agreeing to do something and then doing the opposite would be dealbreakers for me

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 05/01/2023 14:46

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 11:19

I have told him the heating will be set to 21 degrees in his room for the hours I mentioned but if he wants to talk about it to let me know. What annoys me is the way he handles it because he doesn't come and talk about it but does weird things like taking the TRV off and/or disconnecting it and thinks I won't work it out.

So frustrating as I am happy for him to have his 7 year old son (who is absolutely no trouble) to stay over occasionally and have tried to be calm and friendly in discussing the heating.

Wow!

In the circs you've been more than helpful

I'd be furious he's lying /disrespectful and damaging your property.

I'd do a once and for all convo :

1.Either temp down and no extra heaters

2.he pays a proper sum for the extra expensive fuel he's using

  1. He moves out.

No other options are acceptable.

It's your house, dont let him try to negotiate with you!

Abitofalark · 05/01/2023 14:59

I think I could beat most people at wearing clothes, even down to double jumpers, double socks and double trousers and can't abide people who walk around the house in bare feet but I say that 64 or18 degrees is too cold for daytime living. My thermostat had been set at a conservative 68 or 20 but this winter I've brought it down to or 66 or 19, still wearing jumpers etc. In November I tried it at lower temperatures, down as far as 60, circa 16 and it was not comfortable at any of them. At night the temperature should be cooler for sleeping and once in bed, the heating switched off. Having it on all night would stop me sleeping and give me a headache.

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 15:01

21 degrees is far more reasonable. I assume it was set at 18 degrees before.

Friendlyplover · 05/01/2023 15:05

Ugh just to balance it out though, I had a landlady as a lodger that 'told me off' for 'fiddling with the hot water immersion', she would turn the hot water off randomly though so I wouldn't know when it would an wouldn't be off and I was working hospital shifts. So yes I did fiddle with it to have a bloody shower!! It was shit and claustrophobic and I felt like she viewed me as second class citizen.

Friendlyplover · 05/01/2023 15:06

Although it doesn't sound like it's working out op and life is too short for this stress.

ToWhitToWhoo · 05/01/2023 15:09

I think that if his heating preferences are adding significantly to your bills- which presumably they are- it would be only fair to increase his rent accordingly.

Flapjackquack · 05/01/2023 15:11

Friendlyplover · 05/01/2023 15:05

Ugh just to balance it out though, I had a landlady as a lodger that 'told me off' for 'fiddling with the hot water immersion', she would turn the hot water off randomly though so I wouldn't know when it would an wouldn't be off and I was working hospital shifts. So yes I did fiddle with it to have a bloody shower!! It was shit and claustrophobic and I felt like she viewed me as second class citizen.

That is shit, I have heard some real horror stories. My own grandmother refused to turn her heating up despite her lodger’s complaints (she always had it way too low despite having enough money, she was just very frugal) and as a family we spent a lot of time explaining her to why she had to turn it up, and also bought the lodger a heater. I am definitely pro lodgers comfort, just 25 degrees day and night is ridiculous.

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 15:17

OP has agreed to turn heating up in lodgers room to 21 degrees. That is fair.
Being a lodger is pretty shit. You have so little control over where you live and pay a lot for the privilege.

Quincythequince · 05/01/2023 15:22

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 14:13

@Quincythequince If I was your tenant I would take you to the small claims court for the cost of a room at premier inn for a month minus the rent I would have paid you. I would probably win as well. And a very easy legal process to do.

Yep, easy to do. Of course it has to be.
Very hard to win under these specific circumstances, so hypothetically god luck with that and let me know how that works out for you!

Quincythequince · 05/01/2023 15:23

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 15:17

OP has agreed to turn heating up in lodgers room to 21 degrees. That is fair.
Being a lodger is pretty shit. You have so little control over where you live and pay a lot for the privilege.

Yes being a lodger is shit, but being an unreasonable lodger is… we’ll unreasonable.

If he was paying the bills directly, his attitude would be very different.

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 15:23

@Quincythequince Not at all hard to win. You would have evicted illegally, I would have incurred additional cost. I would have to show that I had tried to minimise the additional cost by seeking alternative accommodation.

Winterpetal · 05/01/2023 15:23

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 10:37

My partner left a few years ago and I had time off work for burnout and now in a less stressful (lower paid) role so on a tight income. I rent 2 rooms to help cover my mortgage and bills (about 40%).

The house is heated to 18-21 degrees depending on the room / personal preference, using Nest thermostats (called TRVs) on each radiator. It is lowered at 11pm until 5.30am, meaning it's warm for about an hour after going to bed and it heats up for a few hours before the lodgers get up.

One lodger is very happy with this and prefers a cooler room so sometimes turns it down.

But the other constantly overrides this and heats his room to 25. When I've tried to speak to him about it he answers his door in a tshirt and is only wearing normal socks. The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa.

We seem to be in a battle of wills. He goes along with my suggested times and temperatures in discussion but has done everything including claiming his radiator and the TRV don't work, disconnecting the TRV but trying to make it look as though it's connected, saying it won't connect and pulling the little pin out with a pair of pliers to force the heating on. He leaves it on all night. The thermostat when it's reading says 25-26.

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night. So we prefer lots of layers and a quiet night unless we're in a cold patch.

I've offered him extra duvets and blankets (his looks thin) and a hot water bottle but he refuses. I've asked him to discuss the times he wants the heating on and to talk about the heating.

He says the temperature reading is wrong so I gave him a wireless thermostat which showed the same temperature as the TRV and showed it was correct.

I've explained about the increasing cost of gas and showed him my bills. I've showed him the temperatures in the rest of the house and that we are comfortable.

This is the second winter we are having these issues. Last year his sister died so I just kept my mouth shut and left him to it but I felt really unhappy.

Do I just suck it up, winter will be over soon and I'm not making a loss. Or do I tell him it's not acceptable and ask him to leave? Or is it better the devil you know, this is the only issue.

A friend suggested a locking cover to go over the TRV, I'm so irritated it's tempting but is that really ethical? And anyway would he then just get an electric heater? I don't go into his room and I would never snoop.

He's a 44 year old man having to rent a room and it must be his sanctuary and private space.

Do I just let him win the battle and chill out?

He needs to leave
this is your home ,he is renting a room
you are more than reasonable,your heating is on a lot higher than mine
he definitely needs to go
or …he pays you the difference,the extra that he uses in heating ,he pays weekly in cash

Winterpetal · 05/01/2023 15:25

Well done op
right decision

Squabbledee · 05/01/2023 15:59

caffelattetogo · 05/01/2023 10:41

I'd ask him to leave. He doesn't respect your house.

this. His time with you is up.

StillWantingADog · 05/01/2023 16:05

I think 23 is too warm tbh. YOU will be paying for it! He either sticks at 21 or leaves.

tbh some people are just totally ignorant about the cost of heating. I admit I was once when I was a lodger and was cold and bought an electric heater which understandably annoyed the house owner!
have you actually spelt out to him how much it’s gone up?

Catspyjamas17 · 05/01/2023 16:10

25! I'd be baking. I'm practically opening windows if the living room gets to 21C. Mostly it's 18-20C in the evening.

Tell him to buy a massive fleecy poncho or jog on.

Quincythequince · 05/01/2023 16:10

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 15:23

@Quincythequince Not at all hard to win. You would have evicted illegally, I would have incurred additional cost. I would have to show that I had tried to minimise the additional cost by seeking alternative accommodation.

As a PP has mentioned above, there will be counter claims, legitimate ones, so I honestly don’t think anyone reasonable would bother.

The fact that you keep defending the actions of this bullying pisstaker and think he deserves to be treated with respect, despite his utterly inconsiderate and costly behaviour, speaks volumes.

blueshoes · 05/01/2023 16:11

OP, you have a good plan in place. All the best with it.

WendelineTestaburger · 05/01/2023 16:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

mezlou84 · 05/01/2023 16:11

He would have to pay the extra or get out for me. It's not cheap and 25 is ridiculously high. Whatever it was before and is now he pays the extra as everyone else is suffering for his selfishness. I'm sure he won't find much at the price he has it now and knows it. He's just playing on your good nature I would of had him paying for the damage to the things he's doing to make it come on constant.

zingally · 05/01/2023 16:17

Another vote for give him notice. He's a cheeky fucker.