DH says I'm stupid

[KateLumpy]

I made a mistake with when a bill was being taken out of our joint bank account.

It meant it was overdrawn (no overdraft facility) by £15, I noticed within a few hours and I transferred more into the account so it wasn't overdrawn anymore. So I was overdrawn by £15 for maybe 7 hours.

DH says we'll get charged, and I'm stupid for making the mistake.

Is he right, will there be a fee for this? I feel so dumb.

Yes please speak to him about calling you stupid, my Dad has ever since I was young called my mum stupid, not intelligent even over a little thing like forgetting one item. It really pisses me off because she isn't stupid and its such a horrible thing to say. People make mistakes or forget things its not the end of the world unless the impact is serious.

I really appreciate your replies!

I phoned the bank and they won't charge anything, they just said to make sure enough is in the account so then bills get paid as they can reject a payment if it happens again.

Then I phoned DH. I told him that I'd sorted the bank and there was no charge.

Usually I let his outbursts go, but very calmly I told him I was really upset that he called me stupid, he instantly went defensive and said he meant that being overdrawn was stupid (?). I didn't want to argue, I just said that whatever he meant, I didn't deserve to be made to feel worse when I already felt like a tit.

He apologised!

That doesn't normally happen.

Wow, well done on getting an apology, good work!

But do beware the man who tries to minimise his behaviour by re-writing what he said.

Has your husband never in his entire life made a mistake? These things happen. And it doesn't make you stupid. Stuff like that happens all the time and, like others say, most banks don't fine you if the money is transferred by the afternoon.

I recently managed cause our mortgage payment not to go through. I called them and they were really understanding/ didn't fine us as it hasn't happened before and they understood it was a mistake. Your bank may do the same if you call.