To never go back there again - mortified

[Bluebuttercupss]

A bit of back story: Day off work today so had a few hours to myself while DC was at school. Let's just say it's been a little while since the old ahem has had any action and I was in a bit of a naughty mood, so decided to order myself a toy 🙈 fast forward to early evening and I have taken DC to swimming lesson. While DC is in lesson, I was talking to another parent (never met them before today) about how expensive it is to buy goggles from the leisure centre and how much cheaper online it is. In an effort to demonstrate said point, I whipped out my phone and pulled up Amazon. As I did so, it occurred to me that this was where I'd bought my toy from earlier but I thought surely there must be some kind of privacy feature that prevents any 'similar items' being displayed on the landing page - you know the recommendations based on your buying history right? So I'm waiting for the page to load, signal is shit and I'm debating whether to make an excuse about my data and put my phone away but already felt committed. Page finally loads, phew, nothing untoward in the sponsored ads/recommendations, I'm thinking I'm in the clear and nobody needs to know what I bought earlier yay. I then click the search bar to type in 'swimming goggles' when I kid you fucking not, my search history then appears in bright fucking purple and the last and only entries are 'thrusting dildo' and 'flesh like dildo'. I know the other parent saw it too because she grins and looks at me in a 'wouldn't have thought you were the type but go girl' way 😭😭 honestly I am mortified and absolutely convinced that the only way forward is to find another leisure centre. Can I ever show my face in there again?? In fact should I move area completely because she probably lives local and I may see her in the area anyway?? Honestly never been so embarrassed in my life lol

should I move area completely because she probably lives local and I may see her in the area anyway??

Bit of an overreaction. May as well nuke your home from orbit to destroy the dildo.

she grins and looks at me in a 'wouldn't have thought you were the type but go girl' way

I have no idea how this would look on an actual human face.

Why do people have to be so weird and bitchy on here?! Also why do 'longterm' users of mumsnet get so funny about someone name changing or doing their first post about this, yes so what?? Does everyone need to follow a mumsnet script, not everyone knows these so called rules that have been made up and yes genuinely are posting for the first time without an agenda!

Anyway op hopefully when you use it you dkn't lie back and think of that woman now! 😅

I'd have been mortified too! Don't worry about it. She'll have a bit of a laugh with her husband and see the funny side, but I'm sure she probably has toys too.

After working away from home all week for a while, I decided to pack a vibrator. Got to the client office, dumped my case down and heard a whirring sound. I had to open overstuffed case in an open meeting area and try to grab my toothbrush to pretend I was turning that off whilst trying to also turn vibrator off. Both in separate make up bags and I was blushing like mad, so must have been a bit obvious. Took batteries out next time!

Gosh, I totally got off just reading the 'thrusting' and 'flesh like' description.

That was fun! How was it for you, OP? Did you have to use your hand as well?

Tbh I'd be more worried about amazon's lack of packaging. Your thrusting dildo may well be delivered with just a postage label slapped on the box by your grinning postie 😂

I wouldn't have been able to hold back the laughter if I was her!

Is posting 'trollhunting' a new thing? Makes no sense.

If you think someone's trolling, you report.

knowing this will absolutely be discussed amongst the husband, friends and possibly colleagues

are you serious? Who gives a fuck you bought a sex toy? I honestly wouldn’t blink an eyelid if I saw it on my dad’s Amazon.

I’d be more concerned about your level of ‘chat’ if you’re asking people to look at goggle Google searches with you.

You're biggest mistake was not ordering a satisfyer!!

Your*

I can! It’s like an “ooh err missus!” type of look with a knowing glint.

Careful using the word uppity. I know you didn't mean it but it's HIGHLY inappropriate sometimes.

Whats a troll hunting thread?

Yup. It's considered a racist term, albeit a rarely used one now.

Because if someone recognises the story — the other parent, or the million friends, colleagues and relatives the OP believes she will have dashed off to tell — they would then be able to search the OP’s other posts and discover she has agonising piles, only changes her sheets bi-monthly, and likes watching earwax extraction videos.

How do you think Love Honey and Ann Summers have got so big, it because they sell Lots of toys to lots of women in your situation.
It's water under the bridge, just carry on as normal, because it is normal.

knowing this will absolutely be discussed amongst the husband, friends and possibly colleagues

Literally no one I know would give a shit, tbh. It ticks certain MN boxes here, but it's not actually that interesting for most people. I mean that to be reassuring!

Some people here are shrieking with laughter apparently over it, but I'd hazard a guess that the majority of people in rl will move on in about 10 seconds.

I've deleted myself to save MNHQ the trouble !

How does a dildo thrust? I thought you had to supply the (wo)manpower yourself

Anyone remember the woman who sent her husbands dick pic to the head of the PTA?

Googled it. I stand corrected

This made me laugh so much. You poor thing, I would have been mortified too!

Why are people such arseholes on here sometimes? If you think op isn't genuine then hit the report button and fuck off

You're biggest mistake was not ordering a satisfyer!!

Is that the new deluxe double-portion version of the standard airfryer?

I must be very innocent here: when I was reading the OP, I genuinely assumed that the mortifying bit was going to be that the woman was actually the leisure centre manager, who would then go on to explain with a tear in her eye that the mark-up on the goggles and other accessories they sell went directly towards funding free sessions for underprivileged children from poor neighbourhoods.

This.
Truly.
No one cares!