Is it wrong for a 3 year old to carry a cuddly toy 24/7

[Curiosity101]

I was discussing this with someone earlier and they were concerned my 3 year old (3y4m if it makes a difference) was wanting to carrying a cuddly toy with him 24/7. They were worried it was an issue as it means he's doing everything 1 handed ie. Eating one handed, drawing one handed etc. They also said he's too old for it now, and he shouldn't need to take it everywhere with him.

I figured we can very easily take the toy from him or get him to set it down to one side whilst doing an activity. But I can't actually see why it's an issue. If he needs 2 hands he uses 2 hands, if he can make do with one then he'd rather hold his cuddly in the other hand/arm.

He forms really strong attachments to things in general. For example his favourite bag of marbles that goes everywhere with him (that he also sleeps with).

I'm going to do a bit of research and chat further with the person. Because I'd like us to figure something out that works for everyone. But until today I'd not considered it was in any way abnormal or a problem.

If you think IABU and you'd be willing to elaborate I'm really curious.

I think the things should be kept at home and not taken out and about unless needed for a nap. They won't let him cart it around at preschool or school.

Dgs is very attached to his kitty and likes to carry it round. Dd generally tells him put kitty over there so that it doesn't get food/paint etc on him which seems to work.
I have a son and daughter with autism, ds used to carry till receipts around with him which wasn't so much a problem as he'd readily drop them but dd used to carry a spoon or a toothbrush and wouldn't let go for love nor money which limited her participation in other activities.

Maybe keep the cuddly in his bag at the childminders so he knows it's there but his not holding it all the time. I would listen to the childminder she must know what's she's doing to be honest and he should be using two hands.

Marbles. NO!!!
Soft toy fine.

@PeekAtYou the attachment thing is a weird one. He will hyper fixate on a particular cuddly, then something happens and seemingly overnight he switches. But up until then he's utterly obsessed with that particular toy.

They aren't allowed in the bathroom with him at home, they have to wait outside 🤢. So yes, no issue with hand washing. When we're at the park they sit on the pushchair depending on what he's doing.

I reckon he might just be struggling a bit with the transition back to the CM after being home with us over Christmas... This is only his second day back and she's not raised the issue previously. We'll figure it out though, it's particularly about him being too old to need a cuddly that threw me. Cause I assumed it was normal.

One of my children was obsessed (the others weren't bothered at all). She spend her early years with a bar of soap in one hand and a small Thomas the tank engine in the other. I thought it was incredibly odd but since I was busy with the other children, I chose my battles and just let her get on with it.

The bar of soap would wear down and she had a little stack of them to use as replacements.

She is an intelligent, sociable and lovely teenager now. She stopped at about 3 1/2. We do like to remind her about the soap though! She remembers that she liked the smell

That's incredibly sweet ☺️

Can people stop going on about the bloody marbles?

No

It’s unbelievably arrogant and foolhardy of the OP to think her son is safe unsupervised with a bag of marbles yet worries if he’s too attached to soft toys. 🙄

My 11 yr old still sleeps with the blanket I knitted him when he was a baby, I've offered to add more to it so it becomes a proper blanket but he said he prefers it how it is.
My 23 yr old still has his winnie the pooh teddy from when he was a baby and the cheap spare that his granma got him so we could wash his teddy during the night. He will grow out of it eventually, his still so young. Let him have something to cuddle but maybe try to keep it at home or in the car so it's not an issue for the cm to worry about.

My youngest child was obsessed with Fred from big hero 6, with his spikey superhero suit on. Nursery let him take it in and would sit it on a shelf so it was there but safe, he now just uses it in the bath. Most children have a favourite toy, I don't think its anything to worry about.

Because he sleeps with it under his pillow, because he knows not to put it in his mouth, and because he really loves his Lego.

You never know if or when he might suddenly decide to put it in his mouth 'just to see what it's like.

He is much more likely to build something with it.

My 16yo very cool DD is still often seen with a soft toy under her arm. She manages to live a full life outside the home without her teddy

It's fine. He's three. It's a comfort object.

Not weird at all. My DD had a soft toy cow who came on holiday and did everything with us until she was 9 or 10. Even now his tatty remains are in her cupboard - at 14 she has chucked all her soft toys but just can't get rid of him!

I still have my childhood doggy at 52, sits on my chest of drawers.

I know a perfectly secure, happy NT 6 year old who likes to carry their particular toy with them. I don’t think it’s a worry but I find parenting hard enough without having to keep tabs on a cuddly toy when we’re out and about so I never encouraged this with my DC.

I’d definitely weaken the attachment before your DS is anywhere near to starting school. Many schools won’t allow toys from home and starting school is an anxious enough time without adding having to separate from a comfort blanket.

It’s under his pillow until he takes it out, he may know not to put it in his mouth but three year olds are hardly known for being reliable and predictable are they? And he loves Lego, that’s great but is that a good enough reason to ignore the risks?

Honestly, 3 year old is still so little! Not a problem at all imo. Especially if he puts it down to do whatever activity

Transitional objects are a normal part of childhood development so I wouldn't worry at all. My dd still has her blanket that she took everywhere with her when she was little, she's now 16yo and it's still on her bed (although little more than a rag now!)

Although yeah marbles unsupervised are not a great idea.

My 3 year old will almost always want a cuddly toy or doll with her but she doesn't let it limit her play. It will be "purple teddy is sitting by me for dinner". The teddies or dolls are part of the play, they are dressed, undressed, subject to medical procedures, put to bed, sat in a vehicle, propped on the front of a bike, join her in a den etc. If we go out she likes to put one in a small rucksack and bring it.

She wouldn't do everything one handed.

Dd1 carried a soft toy with her all the time at that age. She's 13 now and doing very well. The marbles wouldn't bother me either it's cute.

My daughter is 12 and still sleeps with her stuffed toys and takes them in her suitcase on trips. So to me that is fine. Now as for the marbles that is a firm no way in hell. Way too dangerous.

No concern at all re soft toy and the person who said it to you is being totally ridiculous. Both my DC took their special cuddlies with them everywhere at that age, and this is completely normal behaviour in a 3 year old. At almost 11, my DD will still carry her teddy bear around with her sometimes at home - usually when she's relaxjng watching tv. DS (9) has a whole army of cuddlies in his bed and will usually bring one with him on car journeys.

I'd say that's perfectly normal.