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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU: My husband is useless

77 replies

oxymomon · 03/01/2023 21:10

I am at the end of my tether. I love my DH, but he is useless. I do the lions share of the work, and when ever he takes responsibility for something, he'll either (a) procrastinate until I do it for him, or (b) He'll do a half assed effort, and I'll have to do it for him.
I'm so stressed. We both work full time, and contribute to the bills (me a bit more because I earn more). But with me having the responsibility of everything else, I end up having no free time because he's so useless that I have to do his chores as well as mine.
What can I do to get him to grow up and take ownership of a few chores? He is great at watching footie, but not much good at anything else. It's not that he's not intelligent, he is. I think he's just been enabled his whole life. His Mum did everything for him before he met me, and now I do everything for him. And my health is now impacted because I'm so run down and frazzled. How can I get through to him? I can't leave important jobs undone, so that's not a solution. But he knows that if he doesn't do them, I will. So he has no incentive to lift a finger.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 03/01/2023 23:58

I can't imagine living with someone who needs to have it explained to him that jobs need doing. He's living in a house and isn't blind or stupid.

He is lazy and thoughtless though

Cherrysoup · 04/01/2023 11:00

Cherrysoup · 03/01/2023 22:58

God, this drives me so nuts. Just go on strike, don’t do anything in the house, no cooking, no washing, no housework, no sex. How long can you last? Longer than him? I dread to think what my house would look like if I did this. All the small things, quick hoover of the downstairs, washing up, wipe surfaces, add water and beans to the coffee machine, wipe up a spill, recycle the Amazon packaging, put away last of shopping, wrapper in the bin, wipe the toilet, clean the grease off the cooker, put away the dishes, put empty bottles in the recycling, empty the recycling!

I feel your pain, OP, but I think my DH makes up for the lack of housework by doing all the finances, walking the dogs, taking care of car repairs, repairs in the house. What does your DH do?

And does the majority of the cooking. 😳

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