Husband keeps taking my car

[BlueLiz]

My husband decided to buy a two seater sports car a couple of years ago. I bought an estate/family car 4 years ago so we could take the grandchildren out. My husband shares lifts with his colleagues and often takes my car as it has more room and his is awful in bad weather. I work part time and look after our grandchildren a couple of times a week. He feels it’s ok to take my car when he thinks he will, but I’m fed up not having my car.
(I drive his as a last resort but don’t like driving it, and I can’t get a big shop or the grandkids in it, so I tend to avoid it) AIBU to want him not to use my car? He chose the sports car so I think he should use it, it’s not my fault it’s rubbish in the winter and lacks space for his larger colleagues.

Hahaha good suggestion

we know what's going on here don't we? hide the keys.

Fil does this to mIL. He always buys impractical cars and then just uses her car. She gets stuck at home because where we live the poor weather often means his care is unusable and there is no public transit. She just puts up with it.

I think it's key to acknowledge that they aren't 'cars' as such, when they're really impractical for normal uses. They're toys/hobby equipment that also happen to be used in the same way as cars.

Your FIL maybe tries to justify it that they have two cars and two drivers, so all fine; but in reality, he's decided to spend the money on the second car that they need on his hobby - so they effectively have only one car (and a hobby item) rather than the two cars that they need. Well, actually, HE has the car that HE needs - as well as his expensive hobby item - and MIL is left with no car at all.

I wondered if you were my former neighbour!

She drove a people carrier (4 kids) and he drove a 2 seater sports car.

However he would always take her car to go on occasional week-long work trips leaving her and the kids stranded with no car to get to clubs/play dates etc. Tosser!!

😂😂

The idea of leaving a nasty sticky sweety mess is a very good one, but considering that OP would have to leave one of her DGC at home and just take one of them out, it's unlikely to ever be a realistic proposition - unless she goes out on her own and does a 'Sister Assumpta' on a day when they don't have the DGC at all!

Take the keys away (in your underwear or sanitary towel bag!) if you’ve asked him and he hasn’t stopped

Actually, reconsidering what I wrote above, there's nothing stopping the DGC from both sitting in it and 'playing cars' whilst it's safely parked up and Grandma is supervising!

You are not being unreasonable. I would be hiding the keys or give him the ultimatum to sell the sports car and buy something more suitable for his actual needs than his ego

Remove him from the insurance.

Job done.

I also want to know if the OP has actually said something to him.

Don't be ridiculous.

we have a police shortage, they need to be dealing with abuse/real crime, not this shit.

It really isn't.

OP you haven't answered the question as to why you haven't just asked him not to take your car? Or do you ask him but he ignores you? If so, that's a bigger problem.

It's different, though - it isn't inconveniencing either of you to do this, so it's by mutual agreement.

OP's husband is taking her car and she feels unsafe driving his, and it also doesn't have the room for her to take her grandchildren out, or get shopping - which was ^exactly% why she chose that type of car.

Let him sell his mid-life crisis sporty number and get a proper car, like she has.

Communication is key

Me and my husband do this but ours are interchangeably useful. His is more sporty and more annoying to get in and out of but has decent back seats, 5 doors and a decent size boot. It appears that these cars are not like for like in a practical sense. If his car is no use whatsoever for him or his wife then why do they have it all? Either share the practical car or he replaces his to suit his needs rather than his ego. A conversation is needed I think.

Hide the keys

He needs to sell his stupid car and buy a second, sensible one.

He's a selfish twat

I agree, we're the same, but both our cars have 5 seats and although one is smaller than the other, they are reasonably interchangable.

In the OP's scenario that isn't the case, she needs the larger car and her DH needs to replace "his"/the other car with something more practical.

I'd hide the keys if my DH was being a pain like this.

I don't really see the issue

Maybe you would if you had bothered to read the OP properly.

Some ridiculous answers on here.

Each partner gets to choose "their" car. Tell him, calmly but firmly, that he is welcome to ask if he wants to borrow your car. If you are absolutely certain you won't want to use it while he is out , then of course he is welcome to borrow it, as long as he treats it with respect, refills the fuel etc.

If you may want to use it, then the answer will be no, and will not be open to debate or complaint.

If he finds that his car is not meeting his needs, then he may wish to to reconsider his choice.

Sorted.

Each partner gets to choose "their" car. Tell him, calmly but firmly, that he is welcome to ask if he wants to borrow your car. If you are absolutely certain you won't want to use it while he is out , then of course he is welcome to borrow it, as long as he treats it with respect, refills the fuel etc.

Yes, there's nothing wrong with a couple freely sharing two cars - but that's on the basis that both of their needs have been considered when buying the two cars. If you deliberately buy a car that you know is not suitable for your spouse's needs, then you always have to use that car and leave theirs alone whenever they might need it - even if (surprise surprise) it frequently isn't suitable for your own needs either. Until such time as you acknowledge that and replace it with a suitable alternative.

I'm the one with the jazzy twoseater, my husband drives the sensible car. We agreed on that. He never drives my car as he hardly fits under the roof. I drive his 1) when we travel together and 2) for the grandchildren and then after asking my husband if ne needs his car that particular day.

@BabyOnBoard90 did you read Op's post thoroughly? She can't put the grandkids in his sports car and she doesn't enjoy driving it and can't fit big shop in it either. Why should he take her car all the time??

Just tell him he needs to stop taking your car as you need it, if his car doesn’t do what he needs it to he needs to sell it and get a new one. Can you really not just have a conversation? We have three drivers and three cars in our house, if anyone wants to take a car that isn’t theirs they ask. People say no if it doesn’t suit.