Husband keeps taking my car

[BlueLiz]

My husband decided to buy a two seater sports car a couple of years ago. I bought an estate/family car 4 years ago so we could take the grandchildren out. My husband shares lifts with his colleagues and often takes my car as it has more room and his is awful in bad weather. I work part time and look after our grandchildren a couple of times a week. He feels it’s ok to take my car when he thinks he will, but I’m fed up not having my car.
(I drive his as a last resort but don’t like driving it, and I can’t get a big shop or the grandkids in it, so I tend to avoid it) AIBU to want him not to use my car? He chose the sports car so I think he should use it, it’s not my fault it’s rubbish in the winter and lacks space for his larger colleagues.

@DenholmElliot11 your understanding of stolen is incorrect. To legally steal you need to intend to permanently deprive the owner of possession which clearly isn't the case here. And it's a complete waste of police time to suggest to them that it is otherwise.

I'd still report my car as stolen if someone took it when i told them not too. But I understand if the OP doesn't want to.

Another one for hide the keys

Take his car to a few car dealerships and see what it’s worth as a trade in. Make sure you give them your DH’s phone number and contact details, and tell them what type of car you’re interested in trading it for. Let them hassle him about getting a different car.

Agree about hiding the keys, and letting the grandchildren have a nice sticky, crumby picnic in his precious impractical penis substitute.

Have you told him not to take it?

I hope this is just him being clueless rather than an entitled dickhead who thinks his need for the car overrules YOUR need for the car.

If he's like my DH, then it might just be thoughtlessness, easily fixed with one conversation.

If he's like BIL, it's because he thinks HIS life is more important.

I hope he's like DH.

YANBU, he’s a mid life crisis twat. I know you shouldn’t have to, but can you keep your car keys someplace he doesn’t know about?

Tell him to sell his, it's obviously impractical.

Remove your keys and tell him no.

Tell him if he doesn't want to use his toy he will have to replace it with a sensible car, but in the meantime he is not going to use yours unless you specifically give him permission.

I had this issue with my ex, he had a perfectly good company car but being a big Audi it wasn't exactly 'fuel efficient' and as he could only claim fuel for bona fide business trips he was always taking mine for 'personal' outings...solution...took the spare key away and hid it along with my own.

Thanks everyone. I’m going to hide my keys! As to the person that said not to be possessive - it’s not that it’s the fact I have my grandkids (2) and can’t get them in his car as it only has 2 seats! Also they require car seats as they are only little so it’s just not possible to use his.

I had this happen when I was much much younger. We had moved to a village and I was between jobs.

Exactly the same reason, a vintage sports car which he didn’t want to have to clean down every time it rained! He was so fucking precious about it!

He used to ask before he took it, but I was such a mug it never occurred to me I could say no. To be honest, if I’d ever said no, he would have turned it around that I was the selfish one. I didn’t use the car much, but it still felt I was stranded.

Please do something about it. For me it should have been an indication that he didn’t view me as an equal partner in the marriage.

After 20 years, I’m finally leaving. He doesn’t understand why.

How annoying. Such a man thing to do -indulge his fantasy knowing he has your car as an option when it doesn't suit. Women are always stuck with the practical choice.

I revoked the whole sharing two cars thing when it became clear that my husband treats any car he drives like a skip on wheels. One too many times with a work outfit being filthy before I even got there, forgotten rotting food left under seats etc.

There were discussions, arguments, valet voucher gifts...everything...then I gave up.

It's ok to say, this is my car, not yours. You can use it when you ask, if there is good reason, otherwise assume not.

Incidentally, living with the consequences of their own actions is a good route to change. My husband is sorting himself out now that the kids object to any journey with him in his car (he used to hop in mine when they did this in the past...then defiled mine too!). Perhaps yours will realise he needs to trade in his car.

Christ , seriously? What a bloody waste of their time, why wouldn't you deal with it like an adult

FGS

Try re-reading the slowly. And no one cares about his Merc 🙄

Well I guess dealing with it like an adult would be telling them not to take the car - which I would do, I'd tell them not to take the car. That, to me, is dealing with it like an adult.

So why suggest reporting it as stolen @DenholmElliot11 ? that's just bloody ridiculous

Don't hide your keys just tell him straight. If he is car isn't suitable for his needs then he needs to change it.

I think when you're a man old enough to have grandchildren, it can look a a bit sad trying to look like James Dean in a sports car especially in UK weather

This could be resolved by simply speaking to your husband, like an adult.

That's because you're insane dear.

OP returns but ignores all important question about communication with husband.

Tedious yet sadly common type of thread

What a ridiculous thread. Why the fuck don't you just open your mouth and tell your husband no? Why are you hiding the keys fgs? Utterly pathetic.

This sounds really frustrating op and I think you need to tell him that you've had enough of it. I have the more practical car and my dh does borrow it sometimes but never without prior discussion and he will always change his plans to suit me so I'm not inconvenienced.