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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Wash DH's Stuff With Mine

106 replies

TheShellBeach · 02/01/2023 14:01

My NDN invited me over for coffee this morning and a woman I've never met before was telling me that she washes her DH's underpants separately from the rest of the washing, as she "doesn't want her stuff to be contaminated with his pants".

They have children, so it seems that she's been "contaminated" by contact with her husband's body more than once in her life.

AIBU to think it's weird? I wash our clothes together. I thought everyone did.

OP posts:
StitchesInTime · 02/01/2023 14:22

I wash everyone’s clothing together unless it’s unusually dirty.

So for instance DH’s clothes got their own special wash the time he’d been clearing out drains.

But not as a general rule!

Original poster
TheShellBeach · 02/01/2023 14:22

Aprilx · 02/01/2023 14:19

We both do our own washing but not because of fear of cross contamination.

Well, that's the thing. This woman definitely mentioned contamination as the reason why she didn't want her husband's pants in with the rest of the washing.

OP posts:
BenniesHedges · 02/01/2023 14:23

I've always just shoved the clothes in in one load, regardless of who they belong to.

ErrolTheDragon · 02/01/2023 14:24

TheShellBeach · 02/01/2023 14:14

Actually, I remember once, years ago, working for a woman who refused to put her mother's knickers in the washing with her own.

I could never work out why. (The mother lived in a separate part of the house but due to infirmity could not do her own washing)

Maybe the mother had continence problems, that might be a valid reason for separating her undies?

But in general, there's enough load separation between colours and fabric types without dividing by person in a family for no logical reason.

Fraine · 02/01/2023 14:25

DH and I do our own washing.

I don’t like to mix anyone’s washing with my own.

Who knows whose left a tissue in a pocket, I’m not having my lovely clothes ruined.

ErrolTheDragon · 02/01/2023 14:27

TheShellBeach · 02/01/2023 14:21

I can imagine some lazy bloke doing just that to be honest Grin buying 50 pairs and washing them every 6 weeks or so when he ran out!

So can I.
In fact my adult DS has about a hundred pairs of black socks which appear to live on his bedroom floor

DH has lots of identical black socks, he likes them to be done on a wool wash so it makes sense to do in bulk along with an odd dark jumper or fleece, and having identical socks means no pairing required. If you've got a big enough sock drawer it makes perfect sense.

Blowyourowntrumpet · 02/01/2023 14:28

I do all of ours together, just separated into whites and darks. Any "contamination" is surely solved by the washing process
Maybe his pants are full of skid marks

PuttingDownRoots · 02/01/2023 14:29

I wash muddy clothes separate to everyday clothes (camping, watersports, rugby, army exercises, forest school etc).

But thats about the only separation (plus colours obviouslt)

DH sometimes gets home from a trip away, puts his stuff in the machine... but will ask if there's any space for anything else

ComtesseDeSpair · 02/01/2023 14:29

I wash all underwear separately from normal clothes and on a hot wash, so I can sort of get the “contamination” concept on some level; but I don’t distinguish between whose underwear it is, that would be a bit odd.

Phrenologistsfinger · 02/01/2023 14:31

YABU! We do this because he washes his clothes and I wash mine. They rarely go in together although it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they did.

Saltywalruss · 02/01/2023 14:35

ComtesseDeSpair · 02/01/2023 14:29

I wash all underwear separately from normal clothes and on a hot wash, so I can sort of get the “contamination” concept on some level; but I don’t distinguish between whose underwear it is, that would be a bit odd.

What temperature?

Cuwins · 02/01/2023 14:35

Very strange. My partner and I are wash everything together- never even separate colours and white to be honest. Normally baby DD stuff is washed separately only because it's in a separate wash basket and there is normally enough for a full load from either basket- if there isn't then it gets mixed.
Only things washed separately are if DD has had a poop explosion!

Phrenologistsfinger · 02/01/2023 14:37

Actually, there is something in this because several infectious diseases are transmitted via fecal matter. When DP caught hepatitis (from contaminated food), Public Health England told us to wash everything separately and sheets/towels on a boil wash. Obviously a temporary situation but there is a grain of truth in your neighbour’s practices. But flannels/towels/sheets/pjs will also have traces of fecal matter so your neighbour is being inconsistent there!

Emmamoo89 · 02/01/2023 14:40

I wash mine and my partners together. She's a freak

SmartWatch · 02/01/2023 14:41

I am the only women in a house full of males and, while I don't technically separate, when there is a massive pile that is clearly going to go over 2 washes I do tend to put my stuff and a couple of towels in first😁- particularly if the pile includes older teens night out clothes, youngest teens football and rubgy clothes and anyone's post gym workout clothes. DP isn't really the problem here!

It's totally psychological though as I wash everything at 50, have a newish washing machine and everything comes out perfectly clean and sanitary (30 would be ok for my stuff but that is not sufficient for sweat or mud stained excercise clothes with non biological washing stuff that I prefer).

SmartWatch · 02/01/2023 14:44

Anything really bad I'd do a pre-wash and I tend to do sheets and towels on a 70 so glad now having read the PP about fecal contaminants! 😀

ThinWomansBrain · 02/01/2023 14:46

How many pairs of pants would it take to crate a wash load? & how long would they need to sit there waiting to be washed?
Ewwwugh.

Also, what on earth was the conversation to entice her to introduce that gem?

Original poster
TheShellBeach · 02/01/2023 14:51

My partner and I are wash everything together- never even separate colours and white to be honest

Heresy! Especially on MN! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
TheShellBeach · 02/01/2023 14:53

ThinWomansBrain · 02/01/2023 14:46

How many pairs of pants would it take to crate a wash load? & how long would they need to sit there waiting to be washed?
Ewwwugh.

Also, what on earth was the conversation to entice her to introduce that gem?

We were just talking about what we had to do later in the day and I mentioned putting a wash on...............and somehow we got to her bizarre revelations regarding her husband's pants.

which I actually could have done without hearing as I was eating coffee cake at the time

OP posts:
uhOhOP · 02/01/2023 14:53

TheShellBeach · 02/01/2023 14:05

Not to mention the cost of the electricity and heating the water and the additional washing powder required.

Depends how many pairs of undercrackers he has. He might have enough to make a whole load. I know I do!

Cuwins · 02/01/2023 14:56

TheShellBeach · 02/01/2023 14:51

My partner and I are wash everything together- never even separate colours and white to be honest

Heresy! Especially on MN! Grin

I have never seen the point. My mum never does either- although I think she used to wash my white school shirts separately. Nobody in my house wears white shirts now.

2bazookas · 02/01/2023 15:04

She might get pregnant if his underpants mingle with her knickers. I thought everyone knew that.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 02/01/2023 15:08

I seem to remember reading or being told about an e-coli outbreak on a cruise ship which was linked to tea towels being washed together with towels/bedding.

WilsonMilson · 02/01/2023 15:09

She’s either mental, or her DH has atrocious skid marks.

Either way, weird

bengalcat · 02/01/2023 15:16

I wash everyone’s stuff together when the machine is full ( including pet blankets / wet dog towel etc ) at 30 degrees so yes would regard her as bonkers - but to his/her own