Partner’s alarm clock - AIBU?

[Toto531]

Just wanted to get your thoughts on something that’s been driving me insane for nearly 3 years now…
My partner gets up early for work, could be anytime between 4am and 6am…my problem is his alarm clock… He sets it on the highest possible volume to go off every 5 minutes and this can sometimes go on for an hour each morning, sometimes longer. Every time it goes off, it doesn’t wake him so I have to shake him to switch it off (the alarm is on his phone fyi). During this hour to hour and a half, I cannot fall back to sleep. I am a very light sleeper and it takes me a while to fall asleep as it is. To make things worse, we have a newborn in with us and so I am getting even less sleep as the moment. I’ve brought up the subject of changing his alarm many times. I’ve just asked if it could not be as loud and and also go off less times. He refuses point blank to change this. I do feel upset as I feel that he is being slightly selfish and he could compromise…lord knows the sacrifices I have made for him. He says he has to have it this loud and that many times as he doesn’t wake up. He doesn’t wake up whatever the situation, I have to wake him every time and ask him to switch it off. It sounds silly but it’s got to the point where it’s driving me crazy and I get so angry about his lack of empathy towards me. And then I can’t go back to sleep as I’m so wound up by it all. He’s told me that I’m just looking for an argument. All I want is a bit of uninterrupted sleep and for him to compromise. I appreciate he has an early start but at the moment I’m up at all hours with the baby and could just do with a bit of understanding and sympathy to keep me sane.
maybe I’m being unreasonable? Thoughts would be appreciated or any advice on how to deal with the situation?

He needs to sleep elsewhere - areshole

This is insane.

So he's ok for you to be continuously woken up every 10 minutes for a period of 90 minutes every morning whilst caring for a newborn through the night? He's getting arsey with you for questioning this? Does he ever get a day off? Maybe return the favour when he does.

Adults have 90 minutes sleep cycles. Maybe he's setting it for a time when he is in a deep sleep. Find out the time he wants to wake up( and get up). Count back in 90 minutes cycles until you reach an acceptable number of hours sleep for him (6, 7.5 or 9) he needs to be going to bed at least 15 minutes before this time to allow for falling asleep. Hopefully this will mean the alarm will be going off whilst he's in a lighter sleep phase and he will feel refreshed enough to get straight up. The snooze habit is really crap on bed mates, very inconsiderate, especially if it's high volume. I can't believe he thinks this is acceptable. Maybe a dose of his own medicine.

😆💯

I can imagine your frustration. He needs to sort himself out so he gets straight up when the alarm goes off - even if it means setting it later. Regardless of whether you have a baby or not, it's pretty selfish to think it's ok to disturb someone else constantly. Also - how would he get up if you weren't there to tell him the alarm is going off? He needs to remember he's an adult. Good luck OP

Are you married to my ex-husband OP?
Horrific a*hole. You have my utter sympathy. My ex (please note the ex) would also do this. 5.30am to 6.30am every f@#£ing weekday. Alarm then snooze every 5 minutes. Then he would eventually get up, switch on all the lights, have a shower, come back in the room, turn all the effing lights on again, get changed, go downstairs, come back up etc constantly re-waking me. 1.5 hrs of hell that just repeated every damn day.

I would sit him down (at another time when he is awake) and read him the riot act. If he won't listen LTB!!

I use my Fitbit as an alarm with it vibrating. Could this be an option?

It’s awful that he knows you're desperate for sleep, utterly sleep deprived and he could opt to resolve this BUT refuses. Utterly selfish. I’d be visiting family for a week or two to let him sort himself out. Take total responsibility for himself. You are not responsible for waking him. He is perfectly capable of getting out of the house without disturbing you.

Turn the alarm off the first time it goes off. Let him oversleep and face the consequences. Do this every day until he accepts that he needs to find an alternative solution.

Preferably one which involves him going to bed earlier and setting his alarm just once, at the time he actually needs to get up.

Came on to say exactly what @babyjellyfish said. But actually, are you sure he’s adding anything at all to your life? If it was me I’d put the alarm clock and all his belongings in a skip while he’s out. And move house.