To be angry that my family banned me from Christmas for having covid

[tantrumingcoldchild]

I flew 4000 miles to see my parents for Christmas. I unfortunately have to live in a different country from them.

I am asymptomatic but had to test due to being exposed to someone with COVID.

My parent was supposed to pick me up from the airport but decided not to after the positive test.

I see my parent once a year at most. They don't travel to see me. My parent and the rest of their family went ahead with the celebration but I was uninvited.

Fortunately, my other parent picked me up and let me stay with them (my parents are divorced)

They have agreed to meet me in a park tomorrow for an hour, which will be the extent of my time with them for the next year.

AIBU to consider this relationship basically over?

I am in my 70s have had all four vaccinations and prior to the fourth vaccination I had caught Covid which made both my hubby and me very ill. If I were your parent I would not want to meet with you and I am surprised that you are prepared to "write them off" because of that decision. You got Covid and that was unfortunate but you should not have wanted to put them at risk. Sorry but on this occasion you are acting like a spoilt child.

surely not irrelevant that you stayed in another city for a few days in terms of quarantine? This adds to the argument that you would be OK

I wouldn’t have anyone in my house neither . And tbh you sound like a very selfish person to think they are wrong . THINK about your actions

Yep you are being completely unreasonable and selfish. Why would you expect anyone to want contact with covid? You may of flewn a long way, but that's life.

That's awful. These tests have always been useless. I could almost understand if you were extremely unwell but I would put you to bed and make sure you were ok.

Before anyone says anything I'm classed as one of the at risk category and was told I should isolate from my family 🙄🙄 but there's no way that one of my adult children would come for a visit especially as it's once a year and I'd see them for an hour in the park 😱

You are not being unreasonable at all op.

Unless I was extremely clinical vulnerable I can’t imagine not hosting my child in my home after they’ve travelled across the world, at great expense, to see me. Regardless of if they’d tested positive for covid.

I’m with the OP on this one - if my parents had done this to me I’d have abided by their wishes, but would lose a lot of love and respect for them.

I wouldn't even visit my worst enemy if I had covid. A completely fit and healthy (positively sporty), old classmate of mine died of covid over Christmas. She was 49.

I would be pleased if a relative cut ties with me if they had your thinking.

Utter madness on their part, how rude and nasty.
sadly still
loads of people are brainwashed by all the propaganda, I would not visit again next year.

Panic??? It can kill vulnerable people

You tested positive with Covid after arriving from another country. You state that you must have picked it up somewhere (between the day you travelled and the time you were to see your parents). You evidently went a few other places for a few days before you saw your parents.

You are asking your parents, who are in their 60s, to take on the risk of being hospitalized with Covid. Being vaccinated decreases the risk of death in this age group (compared to people their age not vaccinated). This is not the same as being "safe." In fact, older people current die at a much higher rate from Covid than the younger population.

Most people in their 60s have underlying health issues. I am that same age, considered very healthy, yet I have 2 additional risk factors if I get Covid. It is enough that I don't take the risk.

And I would NEVER ask someone else to take the risk. That is selfish.

Your choice of words and what you are writing is really defensive, there is much much more to this post?

Tell that to the family members and friends who attended the funerals of those thousands that have died from covid and Covid complications

The OP is not 'being rejected'. Both you and the OP are being emotionally manipulative and childish in the language you use. Not seeing people when you have Covid is still the sensible and responsible thing to do. Just because the parents are well in their 60s doesn't mean they wouldn't have a bad reaction. As a mid-60s woman I can tell you that my overall levels of well being and vulnerability are very different from how they were in my 20-40's despite the fact I present as fit as a fiddle. I fully understand that OP is upset it turned out this way but the parent-blaming, foot-stomping and threats of cutting them off beggar belief.

YABU. Absolutely unreasonable. I wouldn't allow my stepdaughter to visit us at Christmas either as she'd tested positive. I had covid December 2019 and ended up with pneumonia. I was off work for six weeks and still not feeling completely well for several weeks after that. I am vaccinated but have a friend, also fully vaccinated, who currently has covid. It's her third time. I understand how disappointed you must have felt, but would you rather have risked your parent/other family members to become ill? I'm sorry but your response sounds immature and selfish.

Nor me.

YABU. And with this attitude I’m not surprised they don’t see you much.

Except OP has explained that if her sibling had Covid, they would be allowed to come for Christmas.

Everyone seems really keen on avoiding the double standards these shitty parents are applying to their children.

What do you mean everyone has had Covid? Vaccination or previous infection does not stop people from becoming infected again, and risk of serious complications grows with each infection, as per many scientific studies including one from Harvard on NYE. Look them up. So what is your point? You sound completely clueless about Covid, your risk to your family and the people you are in contact with. You should isolate with Covid infection. You might be fine, people you pass the virus to might not. Grow up and be responsible.

BTW, we missed Christmas with family also due to Covid. Someone came into our house with a "cold," but tested positive for Covid. 5 out of 8 family members caught Covid. Thankfully, the older family members were vaccinated. They were miserable but weren't hospitalized. We were fearful that my mother, who is frail, would die if she caught it. She did catch it, but thankfully she didn't catch a bad case of it.

It was a miserable Christmas, but I don't decide who loves me by who is willing to die if they catch a disease that I gave them (knowing that I was infectious when I saw them).

In fact, my kids showed that they cared by staying away willingly so that we didn't get sick. They made sure that we didn't potentially spend thousands on hospital bills by staying away.

I know someone who died, even though he was fit and younger. So you don't know who will die and who won't. And asking your parents to risk long Covid or death or very large hospital bills is not what a loving child would do.

We banned my mother in law in 2020 due to us being in tier 4 and her not. She almost ended up alone on Christmas Day. And yet still we banned her.
she now has covid, and I have not and will not
go over there under any circumstances because covid made me really fucking poorly and I don’t want it again. I have also banned my partner from going over there while she is sick with it in case he brings it back.
I think you’re totally selfish. Covid can make people really sick.

I can’t believe you made your DH ban his mum in a lockdown. That’s beyond cruel. I could never treat my mum that way.

I think your parents did the right thing. Covid kills, I know this intimately as my 7 year old son died last April from it.

I agree with this, I'm a bit surprised by the general response. During the main pandemic, before the vaccinations, yes too many were exposed and died.

But there were still people meeting with distance and masks outdoors etc. We were told to limit contact to small numbers. OPs family did they want to arrange this way? Did they suggest a meeting in an empty outdoor location with social distancing and masks?

To add to this the family are vaccinated. But they have attended an event in a social group of several people. One parent had it in proportion. No one wants to pick up any virus but if this was going to be the response the other parent could and should have forewarned OP that this would be their reaction. To warn against the travel, it would be an obvious thought. Did they raise an objection before OP travelled?

Ultimately it sounds as though there is a casual rejection from parent. But of course we only have OPs description

Unless the same circumstances have happened with their sibling and they were allowed to come for Christmas the OP doesn't really know that though.