To be angry that my family banned me from Christmas for having covid

[tantrumingcoldchild]

I flew 4000 miles to see my parents for Christmas. I unfortunately have to live in a different country from them.

I am asymptomatic but had to test due to being exposed to someone with COVID.

My parent was supposed to pick me up from the airport but decided not to after the positive test.

I see my parent once a year at most. They don't travel to see me. My parent and the rest of their family went ahead with the celebration but I was uninvited.

Fortunately, my other parent picked me up and let me stay with them (my parents are divorced)

They have agreed to meet me in a park tomorrow for an hour, which will be the extent of my time with them for the next year.

AIBU to consider this relationship basically over?

The spouse of my parent teaches young children, so they definitely have lots of contact with all sorts of illnesses all the time.

My child also caught COVID, I also took care of him. But didn't mean I want to invite COVID in my home from someone who doesn't live there.

No one requires testing anymore for anything. It's basically been accepted by national governments that COVID is everywhere.

I already explained that I took the test due to being exposed to someone with COVID. I did not attempt to impose myself on anyone with a positive test. I let them decide and they made it pretty clear that seeing me isn't especially important.

This is quite perceptive. There is a golden child in the family, who can do absolutely no wrong.

This Government, along with others, may not give a shiny shit, but that doesn't mean everyone feels the same way. I'm surprised you didn't have that conversation with your family before travelling, given the distance involved.

I test before travelling to see my family as they don't want to catch it, and I respect that. Most of my friends do the same thing because whilst they accept the risk of catching Covid from their day-to-day activities, that doesn't mean they accept the risk of passing it on to older relatives. They test before family get-togethers to avoid making older relatives ill and/or creating a superspreader event.

Agree - most of us have to isolate sick family members at some point. If they are that concerned then they should never have agreed to the visit, travelling by air is a great way to get respiratory illnesses so it was always going to be a risk.

There are effective and proven ways to reduce rge transmission risks such as masks, frequent airing, keeping 2m distance, sanitising surfaces, staying in separate rooms. Because they work so well, we had no flu season last year for example

Wait—people don’t believe that any of these NPIs (besides air purifiers) actually works against flu, do they? Do they really think we’ve conquered the flu forever 😂😆

Sorry it’s just too ridiculous

No one said that we've conquered flu? But the anti covid measures that were in place greatly reduced the risk of catching covid together with other contagious illnesses including flu. What is ridiculous is the health paranoia on MN. I bet it's the same posters who accused others of being granny killers for going on a walk more than 0.5 miles away from their home during lockdown.

It’s my interpretation of these kinds of sentiments:

Ordinary Covid precautions will probably prevent flu transmission

I just can’t … tell me people don’t really think like this?

This is what I feel, as a sufferer of Long Covid. It isn’t just vulnerable people who can suffer from this, so it is understandable if there is anxiety about catching Covid.

I wouldn’t knowingly host someone who had Covid for this reason.

OTOH, I’m think the OP was treated very poorly, in being effectively abandoned for 3 days, so is understandably feeling hurt. It’s also clear that there’s an enormous back story and it isn’t just about this particular visit.

I get why you’re pissed off given the cost and travel etc but I think saying you’ll cut all ties is a bit harsh . I’d have maximised the time and met as much as possible outdoors . Try to let it go and not ruin your relationship .

So what is your scientific explanation why there was no flu season last year or in 2020? How do you think cold and flu viruses spread?

jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2783644
www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/a-sharp-drop-in-flu-cases-during-covid-19-pandemic/
www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/news/20220321/number-of-flu-cases-lower-than-pre-pandemic-levels

It's perfectly obvious COVID precautions impacted flu transmission, especially as the two aren't competitive so the decline in flu during COVID can't be explained that way. Which specific precautions worked, I don't know. But there was unquestionably an impact. I'm not sure how anyone could think otherwise.

Also, while we'll never defeat flu, we were able to eradicate (as far as we know) a flu 'family' during the COVID pandemic distancing, with the result that scientists choosing which strains to target with a vaccine have greater odds of success because there's one they can now rule out. Silver linings. Along with the progress made on the malaria vaccine which is perhaps more significant than anything else.

You sound delightful, OP. I wouldn’t let anyone in my house with Covid either. Just because we’re all supposed to think ‘oh, silly us for going along with the pandemic narrative for two years’ and pretend it didn’t happen doesn’t mean that there isn’t still a potentially very nasty virus, (among many others this year) doing the rounds.

We should all be able to decide how we mitigate the risk of disease (all infectious disease, not just Covid) for ourselves. Your parents did that. You should have talked to them and tested before travelling then you could have stayed at home and claimed on your travel insurance, which I assume you had as you don’t live in the same country as your parents any more.

However annoyed you are don’t cut older parents off over something like this. The day will come when you will wish you hadn’t.

Your parent and their spouse behaved awfully 💐

Do you have a supportive partner in your country of residence? I hope you do and they show you love and support.

The golden child, it he or she a half brother? It's probably all down to your step mother if I'm reading this correctly. Nasty spiteful behaviour that will bite her in the bum eventually. Were you able to have a nice time with your nice parent?

I don't know, I think it would be a bit odd to refuse to offer hospitality on the off chance that the guest gets Covid on the way over. No one would ever do anything with that logic.

Saying come on over to someone who has already gotten ît is a very different situation.

Surely a dependent child that you're responsible for at a younger age is a bit different to the independent adult child of pensioners?

Saying come on over to someone who has already gotten ît is a very different situation...
...when they are an unwelcome guest anyway. If it's a loved one you'd move heaven and earth for them to be comfortable, or at the very least check on them and make sure they are ok and have all they need. OP's family did not get in touch at all when OP had Covid. That's just nasty behaviour.

It still doesn't mean they want Covid as a Christmas present and surely you wouldn't want it for them?

Especially if they're hosting others.

YANBU I would never abandoned anyone at an airport without transport or accommodation. That's awful!
I wouldn't ever travel to see them again.

Yes @tantrumingcoldchild YABU.

I know you’re hurting because you can’t see your parent. It’s also great that you’re asymptomatic.

However, your parent may not be asymptomatic if they catch it. Your parent is obviously still very scared of the virus.

YABU because you’re only taking your feelings into consideration not the genuine fear of your parent. My Mum would invite me with open arms but my dad wouldn’t. It would be unreasonable for me to be angry with my Dad because his feelings are different to mine.

You did the test and communicated the results. So it's on you at least a bit, isn't it?

Maybe don't test in future - or agree terms up front re testing and what will happen if you test positive.

You have handled this very badly and without thinking it through. Maybe, in future, you'll plan and think a bit harder before spending money on flights

I never quite understand why you clearly believed without question everything the government told you about Covid at the time, but now they’re saying it’s ok and we have to live with it, they’re clearly lying and totally misguided. 🤔