To be angry that my family banned me from Christmas for having covid

[tantrumingcoldchild]

I flew 4000 miles to see my parents for Christmas. I unfortunately have to live in a different country from them.

I am asymptomatic but had to test due to being exposed to someone with COVID.

My parent was supposed to pick me up from the airport but decided not to after the positive test.

I see my parent once a year at most. They don't travel to see me. My parent and the rest of their family went ahead with the celebration but I was uninvited.

Fortunately, my other parent picked me up and let me stay with them (my parents are divorced)

They have agreed to meet me in a park tomorrow for an hour, which will be the extent of my time with them for the next year.

AIBU to consider this relationship basically over?

I can see this from both sides, but basically, getting symptomatic covid is often unpleasant (at least, has been unpleasant both times I have had it, even fully vaccinated) and can have longer-lasting effects. Feeling entitled to risk infecting people seems a bit presumptuous to me. But I would feel the same about having winter vomiting bug, or a number of other unpleasant infectious illnesses.

Indeed.

The 450 people that die everyday in the uk from cancer are forgotten about.

Its all about Covid…

YABU.

Sad you travelled this far to see them and caught covid, but they have to protect themselves and others around them from not catching it.
If you were my daughter id still see you but outside, i would not let you into my home.
Are you currently isolating to help stop the spread? i know legally you dont have to but it is requested you do so.
You mention further down this post that family are vaccinated, a lot of new strains are not immune to the vaccinations, a lot of vaccinations waned. The fact they are in their 60s have had Covid before doesn't mean anything, ive had my vaccinations and had Covid twice, i would not want it again it was horrific in my case.

This makes no sense. I'm concerned about COVID, I'm also concerned about cancer. Why would I mention cancer on a thread about COVID? Just because it's not mentioned on a COVID thread does not mean it's forgotten about

Why didn't you visit your gran? She was in end of life care, so it's not as if catching your winter bug was going to make any difference.

I'm fully vaccinated and had covid in October. I was very poorly with it and I'm still suffering from effects from it. Some people are lucky and asymptomatic, some people get very poorly, for some people it's fatal. They just didn't want to take the risk.

I can understand you are hurt.
I would like to hear the parent who said no to your visits pov.
Perhaps with time you will feel calmer and talk to them about how you feel .Right now you are too angry.
At least your other parent was able to give you and your dc a warm welcome and a nice Christmas.
Nobody should have left you stranded at the airport,if that was the case,hundreds of miles from your destination.
Don't make nasty declarations just now,give yourself some time.

Hasty not nasty !

I've had it twice, the first time asymptomatic and only found out with routine test, 2nd time I got very ill, broke ribs coughing, developed pneumonia, basically spent 8 weeks in bed and then 8 weeks struggling. Ten months later I'm still breathless on the slightest exertion, as an example I got up this morning and had a shower, I'd had ten hours sleep. After the shower I wrapped myself up in a towel and got back into bed until I felt I had enough energy to get dressed.

Some days are worse than others, I'm having regular blood tests as my bloods are all over the place, for the first time in my life I have high blood pressure.

Covid is so unpredictable.

Is your parent vulnerable? We aren't so no way would I miss seeing my child over COVID they are most important person in the world over and above everyone else in my opinion. Everyone has had a chance to get vaccinated and I do think antiviral drips should be available to buy for everyone. We never stayed home with flu etc you took decongestants and got on with it, same should now apply to COVID

Maybe it would be dangerous for other sick people in hospital?

Yes everyone has had the chance to get vaccinated. People are still getting very ill even with the vaccine. This is why people are still cautious.

Whilst it’s understandable your disappointment at not being able to meet and spend quality time with your family especially after having invested time and money into this, you are being unreasonable to expect people to meet up when knowingly being infected with a virus that can spread very easily.

Even with the jab, this does not provide totally immunity. Last year after coming into contact with a Covid positive person my family came down with it. 2 people did not get it (we isolated as much as we could), 1 has mildly, 1 was poorly for 2 weeks and continued to suffer fatigue for about a month afterwards. I was really poorly, was off work for some time afterwards and it took nearly 6 months before I could go for a short walk without getting breathless within a few minutes. Prior to this I was in really good health and wouldn’t have expected covid to have hit me so hard.

We’ve also lost a family member this past year who had underlying health issues that were worsen due to Covid and sadly resulted in their death.

if someone said to me now that they had tested positive, there’s no way I would intentionally go near them. Why would I risk my health, family and work (loss of earnings) for this?!

Look at it this way, if you had met with your family and had passed it on, would you not have felt awful if they had got it badly?

Try to focus on the positives of your visit. You got to spend quality time with other family member and has a break from your usual routines at home.

I wouldn't want someone in my house that knowingly had covid either.

It's unfortunate that it happened to be for your yearly visit, but thems the breaks.

It seems like you're not that close with them anyway, if you're prepared to go no-contact over something like this, that's no-ones fault.

The govt info says 'many' people won't br infectious after 5 days. Imperial College Research says about 2/3 will still be infectious after 5 days. That's why isolation was initially reduced with the requirement for a negative test to end isolation. As the government stopped providing tests they scrapped that requirement- it doesn't change the fact you can still be infectious.

I was on day 8 on Christmas Eve but still testing positive, so didn't visit family on Christmas day because I don't want to infectious them.

I know I am more cautious than most. I worked as a Contact Tracer for the local authority for a while and got to see the chains of transmission - and cases where transmission between 'low risk' people led to people further along the chain becoming seriously ill and even dying. Including after vaccines were introduced.

What pisses me off is the fact that flu has just the same if not greater risk (due to fewer people being vaccinated against it), yet if OP's illness was called 'flu' and not 'covid', nobody would be saying anything.

So you tested positive for covid, and your parents didn't want to collect you from the airport then stay with them? Is that right?

My child picked up covid without symptoms while in hospital. I stayed with her and took her home. I would never abandon her just because I was scared of catching it. Viruses get passed around unknowingly, all of the time.

I don't think either the parent or the OP comes out of this smelling of roses for various reasons.

I don't think that's true. We've just cancelled seeing people for a week over Christmas because some of us had what we think may be flu, or if not a very nasty cold. It was disappointing, but basic consideration for others. The only difference is availability of testing so people don't usually know for sure if it's flu, and wouldn't know if they were asymptomatic, or how long contagious for.

I don't blame them for not wanting you to stay as some people get really ill with Covid. I am in the ECV group and while vaccinated and eligible for treatment covid wasn’t fun for me so don’t want it again. If you were my child, I would have made more of an effort to see you outside though. An hour in the park isn't much. I probably would have tried to arrange to visit you as soon as you're better too.

If I had flu or covid, or indeed any other communicable illness that could have grave consequences to someone I loves health I would personally be isolating myself, regardless of where I was, or how far I had travelled to see them.

Its disappointing yes, but the op IS being unreasonable, as the majority of voters and posters agree.

They probably just don’t want to catch covid. Why are you taking it personally? To be honest I’m surprised you didn’t offer/volunteer to do this yourself. We were due to spend Xmas with DP’s family and stay with his mum, but when he had (asymptomatic) positive test, we didn’t even consider putting his mum at risk, and would not have left the decision up to her. You sound a bit childlike to be honest.

Would you visit someone if you had flu? I wouldn't and don't anyone else who would. That would be really selfish.