Dh sending 15 years old dc with vodka to new year eve party !

[Glamourgal1989]

I said no but he went against my wish - she asked and I didn’t want to. He is wrong no??? He gave our 15 years old vodka to take

AIBU ???

Really surprised at posters saying it's ok, they're all at it. Maybe they are, but not all parents are colluding in it. I would be furious at any parent who was supplying vodka to 15 year olds at a party. Beer, cider OK, but making vodka available at a party is dangerous. Another teenager could drink it, get drunk, fall asleep and inhale their vomit, unbeknownst to parents who think they may have been drinking cider. It's zero defence to say they all drink spirits, them drinking it, your husband encouraging it are miles apart.

Absolutely no way would I have let my 15 year old daughter take alcohol of any kind to a party. She wasn't allowed to go to parties at that age. Not culturally acceptable in our house. She is now nearly 18 and not interested in drinking at all.

Vodka?? Hell no. I have a nearly 15 year old and he's never tried alcohol (we've offered a glass of wine or champagne over the last year or so but he's declined) but spirits are out in any case.

I just can't understand this culture of 'weaning' them onto alcohol that we seem to have developed in this country. Why would you do that? As though they need to be weaned onto it because being able to drink alcohol regularly is compulsory in order to be an adult, or something. The pp who said no wonder we have an increase in liver disease in the under 25s is spot on. Alcohol is a potentially addictive drug. Do you 'wean' your 15 year olds onto marijuana? As though it's sophisticated and sensible?

@Rushingfool I know, it's totally nuts. You don't have to drink alcohol. It's not compulsory. It's so damaging to health. It's on a par with smoking imo. With all the knowledge we have these days I don't understand why anyone would encourage drinking in young people.

I've just hosted a party for my DD(15) and thirty of her peers. They did drink alcohol and two were sick. I was able to phone their parents and make sure they were looked after. I'm much happier with them doing it under supervision rather than out in a park somewhere as it will happen anyway.

Young teenagers and alcohol don't mix well.
They get drunk, get aggressive,, get randy, get raped, get pregnant,get weepy...who on earth gives a 15 year old a bottle of vodka.

We are fairly relaxed with alcohol and our 15/16 yo DCs however no way would I give them vodka to take to a party. A few pre mixed cans or cider but not straight vodka at 15!

I would be so angry. The world virtually rams alcohol down young people's throats; parents are the only ones in a position to say no.

My 15yo went to a NYE party sans alcohol... thorough conversation with supervising parent and of course with son. No way will I be leading him to the trough so overflowing with addicts. If there is one thing I can do for him, it is to help him stay safe.

Well I know a parent who allowed teens to "have two drinks" at a supervised party and guess what? One of the kids who slept over never woke up in the morning, died during the night of alcohol poisoning. Absolutely no way in hell will I ever be a part of such a thing. So many parents are utterly spineless; you have one job, to take care of your child. Yes, it's tricky at times but that's all it is. It's better to go through the mill than have a child to bury/saddled with PTSD etc

Meh, Miajk and tenbob. Totally anecdotal.
I grew up in Scandinavia. My friend's and I were drinking regularly by 13 and 14; spirits, just like in your eastern European country, Miajk, both at house parties and outdoors in parks, car parks etc.
In my experience, those 'group outcomes' are almost entirely reversed: by the time we were 17, my friendship group of 'enthusiastic drinkers' included two friends in long-term young person's residential rehab for alcohol dependency, two suicides while drunk, an accidental but fatal firearms incident, an alarming number of terminations among my female friends, almost unanimous transition to use of illegal drugs which a few years later led to one fatal heroin overdose, barely 20 years old.
Other kids from my small town whose parents were stricter fared much, much better in the long run than those of us whose parents were more permissive.

I will not be supplying my DC with alcohol until they're old enough to get it for themselves. The law is the law. The first half of my life was spent on the wrong side of it in lots of different ways, albeit in a different country, and although a lot of fun at times, the outcomes were so utterly shit. I 100% refer to the law and legal guidance (age limits for apps and movies etc) when it comes to everything concerning my DC now. Works for me. If all parents did the same, there wouldn't be the peer pressure and availability of alcohol for this to be an issue.

Small quantity (hip flask?) is ok. A whole bottle is asking for trouble. I used to send DD off with a couple of premixed cans at that age.

It's the norm!

Wow! Do you live in the country or something? At 15 that's the least of your worries.

I’m quite relaxed when it comes to teens having a one drink or two under parental supervision but even id draw the line at letting my own 15 year old dd take straight vodka to a party.

that’s just asking for trouble.

an ex of mine (eldest kids dad) started drinking at 12 by pinching his parents whisky and vodka and drinking it with his mates in the park. By 16 he had an alchohol problem and had developed a stomach ulcer and had his stomach pumped twice. He wasn’t allowed to drink at home with his parents ever so he got it by other means instead.

spirits are awful stuff for kids

I take my post back!
I didn't realise it was a whole bottle of pure smirn off vodka!!
Sorry I should of read the whole thread

A very wise woman with older DCs advised me to buy those pre- mixed cans. No it's not ideal but it's a he'll of a lot better than the alternative.

I hate nonsense like this so much. It’s not data, it’s just something people say to justify not parenting their kids, because it’s so much easier to be the cool one

We have an atrocious attitude to alcohol in Britain. Fifteen year olds do not need bottles of vodka from their parents to develop a healthy relationship with drinking
💯
Supplying children with alcohol is just lazy, shit parenting no matter how you look at it.
No, they don't 'have to'. No, they're not 'all doing it'. No, it does them absolutely no favours to start drinking as children. You really think they're going to enjoy the buzz any less at 18 and make smarter decisions when under the influence because they were allowed alcohol at 15?

It's exactly what it looks like. Justification for not being able to actually parent 🤷‍♀️

It's a rite of passage to be given a bottle of vodka by your parents at 15?
Really?

How's your daughter this morning OP?

@CJsGoldfish 👏 agree with you completely and also you have the best name!

I live in Cornwall and parents would send their 15/16 year old kids down on the train with a slab of beer to party on Newquay beach. They would get drunk, stumble off the cliffs and die. So the police started meeting the trains, confiscate the booze, call the parents to come and pick them up and alert social services for neglectful parenting.

Absolutely not. My DD is 14, nearly 15. No way I’d be providing her with vodka for a party. Literally just started to do this with DS as he’s 18 and at Uni. He’s only recently started drinking, maybe once underage when we had a family wedding. Vodka is his drink too, and I don’t think it’s a great drink to start out on

in your opinion, many teens that age would be bringing a bottle to a party on New Years.

The fact that many people do something doesn't make it right.

A bottle of vodka is way too excessive and I agree with you OP. A couple of beers or a 4 pack of Smirnoff ice or something then fair enough but a bottle of vodka unsupervised? No way.

However.. people here do seem to forget that anyone over the age of 30 would have found it fairly easy to have big nights out clubbing from the age of 16 onwards and I think some of the attidues regarding restricting 17 year olds alcohol are interesting as I can pretty much guarantee whenever they stay over at a friend's etc - there's more alcohol going on than they realise - and probably the odd trip to a pub!

A DC drinking vodka at 15 is the least of your worries? I wonder is that because your DC started drinking so early? It does lead on to other problems.