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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh sending 15 years old dc with vodka to new year eve party !

122 replies

Glamourgal1989 · 31/12/2022 19:52

I said no but he went against my wish - she asked and I didn’t want to. He is wrong no??? He gave our 15 years old vodka to take

AIBU ???

OP posts:
billyduck · 31/12/2022 20:44

Neat spirits are dangerous for the very inexperienced- which all teenagers are. I would definitely not allow it

1000yellowdaisies · 31/12/2022 20:46

Fine to take alcohol, i certainly did at that age but im not sure a bottle of vodka is a good choice, i think alcopops or beer would be better.

toocold54 · 31/12/2022 20:48

YANBU

I admit I was drinking vodka at that age but it caused me to get into very dangerous situations!

No way would I let my 15 year old take spirits but I would have compromised and brought her something much less strong.

Where is she going?
Is it to a trusted friends house?

Pumperthepumper · 31/12/2022 20:49

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 20:14

in your opinion, many teens that age would be bringing a bottle to a party on New Years.

Show quote history

Also in the opinion of the law. She’s fifteen.

Ducksurprise · 31/12/2022 20:50

Vitriolinsanity · 31/12/2022 20:25

@Marblessolveeverything and I think that absolutely is the way to do it. By taking the subversion out of the experience. Let's face it, if your parent say it's ok, and let you, it loses the mystery.

I agree with this. It's those that aren't allowed that end up in the most trouble in my experience.

DrManhattan · 31/12/2022 20:51

He is a dickhead. Good luck in A&E

Sunnistery · 31/12/2022 20:54

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 20:14

in your opinion, many teens that age would be bringing a bottle to a party on New Years.

Show quote history

Perhaps something called the law may sway general opinion. Not sure why you seem to be supporting 15 year olds drinking spirits.

Loics · 31/12/2022 20:56

DrManhattan · 31/12/2022 20:51

He is a dickhead. Good luck in A&E

Yep. All the "they won't be interested if it's allowed by parents" posters seem to forget it's VODKA. I'm in my early thirties and I think a bottle of vodka would likely kill me. Even a couple of vodkas would make me ill - I don't fancy the chances of an inexperienced 15 year old.

Sunnistery · 31/12/2022 20:58

I agree with this. It's those that aren't allowed that end up in the most trouble in my experience

My days, fools like you are allowed to parent!? So 15 year olds with bottles of spirits is a smart move... 🙄

Loics · 31/12/2022 20:58

Also, I imagine OP's husband has given them something like Smirnoff and not a decent quality vodka.

Sunnistery · 31/12/2022 21:00

Loics · 31/12/2022 20:58

Also, I imagine OP's husband has given them something like Smirnoff and not a decent quality vodka.

Why, because Grey Goose would see her home safely. fgs some of these comments.

jays · 31/12/2022 21:00

Vitriolinsanity · 31/12/2022 20:25

@Marblessolveeverything and I think that absolutely is the way to do it. By taking the subversion out of the experience. Let's face it, if your parent say it's ok, and let you, it loses the mystery.

No, it really doesn’t.

TiddlesTheTiger · 31/12/2022 21:00

I think the important thing is how much will DD actually drink?
Do you trust her to be reasonably sensible?

I was going to parties with alcohol when I was 15 (bought by myself - different times) but I never got drunk.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 31/12/2022 21:02

I was drinking Bacardi and coke or Malibu and pineapple juice at that age. I was with my parents at that age, I just hope it’s as a mixer and not drunk straight 🤮

Survey99 · 31/12/2022 21:04

Ds(18) was allowed 2 cans of cider at new year when he was 15 (16 in the Feb). I know it is likely he pushed the boundaries and had more, but I would not condone it by providing it. Most of his boy friends drank roughly the same or lager, but the girls brought full bottles of vodka, the state they got into was one of the things that put him off drinking too much and also hanging around those that did because there was just too much drama every time - including lots of tears, sexual incidents/assault, someone getting burnt at a camp fire, someone being ill, arguments/fighting etc. I would be very concerned about any dc, especially a dd, out unsupervised with strong spirits.

Your dh is being very naive, but can take comfort in the fact he is super cool.🙄

Pumperthepumper · 31/12/2022 21:04

TiddlesTheTiger · 31/12/2022 21:00

I think the important thing is how much will DD actually drink?
Do you trust her to be reasonably sensible?

I was going to parties with alcohol when I was 15 (bought by myself - different times) but I never got drunk.

How will she know how to be reasonably sensible with a bottle of vodka she’d 15?

Pumperthepumper · 31/12/2022 21:04

*aged

EarringsandLipstick · 31/12/2022 21:04

I cannot believe you let her out the door with vodka. Regardless of your idiot H's decision

No way should a 15 yo be drinking. Amazingly many don't.

Justcallmebebes · 31/12/2022 21:06

15? Vodka? No way in a million years would I allow that

Hellno44 · 31/12/2022 21:07

What a dickhead. He's an even bigger one for undermining you. Vodka for a 15 year old is an arsehole move. Maybe presecco or a cider but not Vodka.

Ducksurprise · 31/12/2022 21:10

Sunnistery · 31/12/2022 20:58

I agree with this. It's those that aren't allowed that end up in the most trouble in my experience

My days, fools like you are allowed to parent!? So 15 year olds with bottles of spirits is a smart move... 🙄

I've seen three kids past 18 and have three more coming up to 18. The ones who fail to parent in my view are the ones that blanket ban everything, that refuse to see what is happening under their nose.

EarthlyNightshade · 31/12/2022 21:12

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 20:14

in your opinion, many teens that age would be bringing a bottle to a party on New Years.

Show quote history

Do you think that the fact that many teenagers will be bringing a bottle makes it right?

QueenofLouisiana · 31/12/2022 21:14

DS started raking alcohol to parties after his GCSEs, so 16. He’s now in yr13 (but not yet 18) and still takes cider or beer- not spirits. He’s watched too many friends end up a vomiting mess from vodka to want to drink it.

Lex345 · 31/12/2022 21:18

I wouldnt be sending a 15 year old off with a bottle of vodka, but I have sent drinks with my 16 yr old. He had tried some at home with us and we tried to teach him moderation, not to mix drinks pace yourself etc. He still got pissed. The only thing we have both said though is I would much rather he felt able to call us and ask for help if he was in real trouble without worrying about getting into trouble with us.

I'll be honest, by his age, I had been very drunk on several occasions and put myself in some very risky situations. I wouldnt have dared call home for help.

Bottle.of vodka seems a bit much if this was first time to a party with drinks tbh

funrunning · 31/12/2022 21:32

My son is 15, most of his friends are 16. He is unusual in that every couple of weeks he has a cider and lemonade at home. It is not the norm amongst his age group to drink. Certainly not bottles of vodka! Why on earth does your husband think that is a good idea?!