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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've zero perspective so over to you lovely lot!

121 replies

Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 31/12/2022 15:00

Person A was at my house yesterday and I made us both a cup of tea, I was then needed upstairs by my DD so I told person A to help themselves to a bit of chocolate out the fridge and I'd be back in about 5 mins. In the fridge there is a drawer full of assorted chocolate bars, there was also an unopened galaxy selection box. Person A opened the selection box and had a chocolate bar from that. As per the title I've no perspective as I despise Person A who unfortunately has regular reason to be in my house and whom I have to be civil to 🙄 so am i being unreasonable?

Yes you offered chocolate and Person A had chocolate what's the issue

No clearly you meant out of the drawer and you don't open someone's selection box

I'm not seriously annoyed btw it's just to gain perspective as I think Person a has been a cheeky twat lol

OP posts:
Headabovetheparakeet · 31/12/2022 19:52

ShadowoftheFall · 31/12/2022 19:38

We’re a dairy free house, so I don’t ever have chocolate in, but it’s a revelation to me to learn that a selection box is a personal item which should never be sullied by anyone other than it’s owner.

Yeah, me too. On this basis, my 4 year old is going to have a few bones to pick with me in the coming days.

RandomMess · 31/12/2022 19:52

Ha I guessed it was your ex.

Hope you manage to resolve things so he no longer sets foot in your home, your safe place.

He totally did it deliberately knowing it was a gift to you.

emptythelitterbox · 31/12/2022 19:53

How old are your children?

Is the reason you let him come so much is he watches them while you work?

Numbat2022 · 31/12/2022 19:56

YABU, very much. You offered chocolate from the fridge and that's what they took.

However, I'm shocked by all these people suggesting keeping chocolate in the fridge is bad! Melty cupboard chocolate is disgusting, I sometimes keep my chocolate in the freezer to make it extra cold and delicious!

Vitriolinsanity · 31/12/2022 19:59

@Numbat2022 only Mars bars so they can be peeled surely!

determinedtomakethiswork · 31/12/2022 20:20

He sounds like a completely greedy pig, who knew exactly what he was doing. Why are you having him in the house every day? If he wants to see the children he can take them out for a walk or have them in his home. He doesn't have the right to come into your house and take your food.

EricNorthmanYesPlease · 31/12/2022 20:43

YANBU
I would assume a selection box belongs to a child, so it woukd be mean to take something from it. i also wouldn't open a box.

However, if i despise someone i dont offer for them to help themselves to chocolate!

Numbat2022 · 31/12/2022 22:04

Vitriolinsanity · 31/12/2022 19:59

@Numbat2022 only Mars bars so they can be peeled surely!

Ewww no, I don't like Mars bars! I pretty much only eat dark chocolate and chocolate truffles, so those. Maybe a KitKat when I have my period. But they absolutely must be fridge cold, if not freezer cold.

Judgyjudgy · 31/12/2022 22:07

YABU, you told them they could eat the chocolate. You should've said unopened chocolate if that's what you meant.

EarthlyNightshade · 01/01/2023 09:35

MummyInTheNecropolis · 31/12/2022 19:26

If your ex also enjoys chocolate from the fridge then I think you should get back together, you’re unlikely to ever find someone else who shares this bizarre and perverse kink.

This

Devoutspoken · 01/01/2023 09:37

That's a lot of chocolate

Ameadowwalk · 01/01/2023 09:42

RandomMess · 31/12/2022 19:52

Ha I guessed it was your ex.

Hope you manage to resolve things so he no longer sets foot in your home, your safe place.

He totally did it deliberately knowing it was a gift to you.

I voted YABU thinking it was a friend who could have been mistaken about what was on offer (although I would check before I opened someone else’s selection box even if they offered chocolate).
But your ex, who knows what is what, comes daily into your space and has not sorted out somewhere else to see DC? The chocolate is just symbolising everything else which is wrong here so YANBU.
i would start setting some boundaries, if he really must come to your house to see DC, he stays out the kitchen and does not treat the place like his own. Does he ever replace the chocolate he takes?

Ameadowwalk · 01/01/2023 09:44

Headabovetheparakeet · 31/12/2022 19:52

Yeah, me too. On this basis, my 4 year old is going to have a few bones to pick with me in the coming days.

Show quote history

Beware, my DD still brings up the time I ate some of her Easter egg when she was three. She is twenty now.

Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 01/01/2023 09:52

Ameadowwalk · 01/01/2023 09:42

I voted YABU thinking it was a friend who could have been mistaken about what was on offer (although I would check before I opened someone else’s selection box even if they offered chocolate).
But your ex, who knows what is what, comes daily into your space and has not sorted out somewhere else to see DC? The chocolate is just symbolising everything else which is wrong here so YANBU.
i would start setting some boundaries, if he really must come to your house to see DC, he stays out the kitchen and does not treat the place like his own. Does he ever replace the chocolate he takes?

Show quote history

To be fair he does bring stuff to top up the chocolate drawer from time to time, unfortunately the arrangements with him seeing the children can't yet be changed (looooooonnnnnggggg story) hence me allowing him to see them at mine as the only other option would be that he doesn't see them at all (it's complicated) and whilst I despise him I'm not going to prevent my kids having a relationship with him

OP posts:
clpsmum · 01/01/2023 10:01

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 15:04

YABVU you said help yourself to chocolate from the fridge, that’s exactly what they did.

This

Ameadowwalk · 01/01/2023 10:56

No, I am not suggesting that you stop DC having a relationship with their father, I am suggesting he doesn’t have quite the run of the house that leads to these situations.

Yesthatismychildsigh · 01/01/2023 11:08

Can’t see a problem. Why would they go rooting through the fridge drawers when there’s the chocolate they were offered in plain sight.

babytum · 01/01/2023 11:16

You’re not unreasonable. Anyone with an ounce of manners knows not to open a selection box. Selection boxes are sacred. Prick

Yulestorm · 01/01/2023 11:30

Could we please have a photo of your chocolate drawer?

Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 01/01/2023 15:24

Pic as requested! As you can see I've added the galaxy's and it's a bit less full than it was lol

I've zero perspective so over to you lovely lot!
OP posts:
Yulestorm · 01/01/2023 15:31

Excellent @Mumof2amazingasdkiddos 😂 Agree he should have taken one of those.

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