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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've zero perspective so over to you lovely lot!

121 replies

Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 31/12/2022 15:00

Person A was at my house yesterday and I made us both a cup of tea, I was then needed upstairs by my DD so I told person A to help themselves to a bit of chocolate out the fridge and I'd be back in about 5 mins. In the fridge there is a drawer full of assorted chocolate bars, there was also an unopened galaxy selection box. Person A opened the selection box and had a chocolate bar from that. As per the title I've no perspective as I despise Person A who unfortunately has regular reason to be in my house and whom I have to be civil to 🙄 so am i being unreasonable?

Yes you offered chocolate and Person A had chocolate what's the issue

No clearly you meant out of the drawer and you don't open someone's selection box

I'm not seriously annoyed btw it's just to gain perspective as I think Person a has been a cheeky twat lol

OP posts:
Billoddiesbeard · 31/12/2022 16:09

YABU if you had told me to take chocolate from the fridge and selection box was in the fridge I would have assumed you meant that. I would not have thought to have rummaged in the fridge drawer to locate chocolate. Confused

Want2beme · 31/12/2022 16:12

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 31/12/2022 15:09

Does this person frequently encroach on you personal space?

OP said help yourself to chocolate from the fridge. Person A helped themselves to chocolate from the fridge. How is a fridge a person has been invited to take something from encroaching on a personal space? is a fridge like a handbag, sacrosanct to its owner to rummage but no-one else?

No, but a selection box is very personal, in my opinion.

rainbowandglitter · 31/12/2022 16:14

I wouldn't have opened a selection box. They're always left for the person that receives them in my house.

harrassedmumto3 · 31/12/2022 16:19

I personally wouldn't have opened a selection box, if there were other chocolate bars available.

TheNoodlesIncident · 31/12/2022 16:20

I wouldn't have opened a selection box, but I don't think I'd blame someone who did. Your instructions weren't really 100% clear (that you preferred them to leave that and take some of the other chocolate).

However when you dislike another person everything they do grates rather, even innocent stuff, it's a well-known phenomenon.

UsingChangeofName · 31/12/2022 16:29

Aside from the fact YABU to keep chocolate in the fridge, YABVU to be cross at this person doing exactly what you invited them to do.

If you specifically wanted to keep the selection box whole then you needed to say "Help yourself to chocolate from the drawer if you life but can you leave the selection box that is presumably the more obvious / right in line of eyes "

toocold54 · 31/12/2022 16:30

I wouldn't have opened a selection box, but I don't think I'd blame someone who did. Your instructions weren't really 100% clear (that you preferred them to leave that and take some of the other chocolate).

However when you dislike another person everything they do grates rather, even innocent stuff, it's a well-known phenomenon.

I completely agree.

Tbh if they are a bit of a CF then I wouldn’t have offered for them to go poking about in the kitchen anyway and I would have waited until I was back downstairs to offer.

I’m not sure what I’m more intrigued about:

the fact that you have this person you don’t like over regularly and make them a cup of tea
or
the fact you’ve got a drawer full of chocolate.

EarthlyNightshade · 31/12/2022 16:31

I can just about get my head round people keeping chocolate in the fridge, but a whole selection box in the fridge? Never have I heard the like.

RobinaCherry · 31/12/2022 16:47

(and they are aware it's mine and was gifted to me)

Heh. Just read a thread complaining about the word 'gifted'.
You just annoyed a 1000 people OP. Not me, I get gifted loads of stuff.

Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 31/12/2022 16:48

I'm laughing my head off at these comments! Thank you everyone I know in fairness I'm being unreasonable (probably, a bit, maybe) and those who have commented its more to do with my dislike of person A have hit the nail on the head. I didn't realise the bigger issue would be where the chocolate was located, I always keep it in the fridge? And yep it's in what should be the veg drawer so I fully expect to be reported to social services 😂 it's currently pretty full cos its Christmas 🤷🏼‍♀️ it's not MIL......

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 31/12/2022 16:51

maybe they didn't poke around in the fridge and examine the contents of the drawers, took the first chocolate they saw?

mackthepony · 31/12/2022 16:52

I think it's cheeky, yes. They should have had a regular bar of chocolate

BaileySharp · 31/12/2022 16:55

It's a little cheeky to go for an unopened box when there is some open but you did say chocolate from the fridge. If I was storing to save for later I would hide it elsewhere

Vitriolinsanity · 31/12/2022 17:14

I prefer chocolate from the fridge.

I consider people that don't to be wrong'uns.

emptythelitterbox · 31/12/2022 17:15

Is it your ex?

HallieBo · 31/12/2022 17:16

YABVU for referring to them as person A, when there was no persons B-Z featured in this story 🤣

saturnisturning · 31/12/2022 17:30

They weren’t being unreasonable but I’d probably never go near someone’s fridge. I’d wait til they come downstairs and say “oooh I fancy one of those chocolates but I don’t like rummaging!”

why do you despise them. Fill in the blanks here OP!!

Goldbar · 31/12/2022 17:52

I would have taken one of the loose bars and left the selection box unopened, unless there was something I particularly liked in the selection box. In which case, based on your instructions, I would have opened the selection box but would have felt the need to excuse myself to you afterwards by saying "I hope you don't mind but I took X from the selection box because it's my favourite". So yes, I suppose I would feel slightly cheeky opening an unopened box if there was other stuff available. But then I was taught as a child to eat up leftovers and take the least inconvenient thing for my host regardless of personal preference (i.e. it's polite to take up the least space possible). Whereas my DH and DC would be quite upfront about taking what they liked best with no hesitation.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 31/12/2022 17:53

They weren't to know which chocolate you meant. If you hate them, don't offer them chocolate.

dudsville · 31/12/2022 17:55

I'm surprised by the voting. I wouldn't have opened a new package, just because obviously, and I would also have in mind that it might be for an occassion.

purplecorkheart · 31/12/2022 18:21

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 15:38

You wouldn’t have taken any chocolate despite being explicitly told to take some chocolate?

Show quote history

Nope, I think the polite thing would be to wait.

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 18:43

purplecorkheart · 31/12/2022 18:21

Nope, I think the polite thing would be to wait.

Show quote history

It would be incredibly odd to not if told to take some chocolate. Rude even

Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 31/12/2022 18:53

HallieBo · 31/12/2022 17:16

YABVU for referring to them as person A, when there was no persons B-Z featured in this story 🤣

😂😂 First ever time posting so I'm still learning the lingo but I absolutely take your comment on board, should I be person B so I'm not being unreasonable lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 31/12/2022 18:58

I feel its time to reveal the identity.....person A is the kids dad, he comes round near enough daily to see them so is well aware of where the chocolate is kept as he usually just helps himself. I've zero perspective because I hate him and he constantly does passive aggressive behaviour and then acts the victim when called out 🙄 I have no intention of calling him out on this obviously as its a total non issue and I've now learned the REAL issue is the fact I keep any chocolate in the fridge 😂

OP posts:
LittleDisaster · 31/12/2022 18:59

I don't think I'd have opened the selection box, but equally, if I'd told someone to help themselves and they took the wrong thing, I'd think that was my fault for not being clear.

Was the drawer chocolate obvious? Maybe the selection box was the only chocolate they saw on opening the fridge door?