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AIBU?

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Original poster

Argument with family yesterday and can’t enjoy NYE

95 replies

Sabrina145 · 31/12/2022 14:08

So I live at home with parents at the moment due to financial pressures. (I have a good job can’t afford house in current climate and at home saving). Yesterday my parents said some things to me that hurt and insulted me. Now it’s tense and I’ve said I feel there should be an apology but nothing. One of my siblings who lives abroad is coming over for NYE tonight and they’ll act like nothing happened. But now I can’t pretend to be just happy to join in board games, watch TV etc. AIBU to be so annoyed they’re letting me spend NYE feeling like this? Not even addressing what they said to me yesterday. horrible feeling. Or should I enjoy the night as best I can with my sibling and just try to forget it.

OP posts:
MakeMineALarge1 · 31/12/2022 14:10

Without knowing what they said and in what context then no one can say who's being unreasonable

MakeMineALarge1 · 31/12/2022 14:11

How old are you OP
Do you have plans to move out
Do you help around the house

ZenNudist · 31/12/2022 14:13

I think you need to move out. It doesn't sound like it's working out for you living there. It's a lot to expect your parents to put you up as an adult.

"Expecting" an apology is a hiding to nothing. Don't sulk like an overgrown teenager. Just try not to ruin NYE for everyone else.

luxxlisbon · 31/12/2022 14:14

Totally impossible to say what is a reasonable reaction from you or not without knowing what they said to apparently insult you.
How old are you?
Do they want you to live at home?
How much do contribute financially and around the house?
You say you earn well but can’t afford to move out, is your expectation to move out into your own place? Surely you can afford a flat share like most others?

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 31/12/2022 14:16

Clearly having you live there isn't working for them. Accept that, find a house share and move out, then I'm sure family relationships will be healthier.

Stressedmum2017 · 31/12/2022 14:16

How old are you you sound quite immature. They are letting you live there so you can get on the property ladder, you aren't being forced to stay. Lots of people have no choice but to rent. Saying they are 'letting you spend nye like this' sounds very teen.

Lis1992 · 31/12/2022 14:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

DelphiniumBlue · 31/12/2022 14:17

Why can't you pretend to be happy, for your sibling's sake?
Family life often entails people snapping and saying things sharply, and not everyone apologises. Sometimes they will do something which demonstrates that they are sorry. Or maybe they meant it. You've said you think there should be an apology, what did they say in reply? It's no good demanding an apology, you need to understand why they said what they did, and how you can move forward. But don't ruin New Year by sulking, or dwelling on it. If you aim to have fun with your sib, you'll probably feel a lot better for it anyway.

CantFindTheBeat · 31/12/2022 14:17

What was the comment/s, OP?

I have grown DC living with me with their partner visiting regularly. Sometimes it does get a bit tense.

imalreadygone · 31/12/2022 14:17

It's quite hard to know if you're unreasonable without knowing what they said and how much of it is true.

5128gap · 31/12/2022 14:18

Well you either can put a game face on and enjoy the night or you can't surely? Deciding whether to be too offended or not has a whiff of performance offence to me.
They're not going to apologise if they're not sorry so you might have to accept that's how they feel and balance that off against the help they're providing in letting you live there.

imalreadygone · 31/12/2022 14:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

donttellmehesalive · 31/12/2022 14:20

What did they say that hurt and insulted you, and against what context? Is there any truth in what they said?

Shitzngiggles · 31/12/2022 14:21

It depends on what they said. They may have made some perfectly valid points.

Hawkins001 · 31/12/2022 14:21

All the best

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2022 14:21

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Presume this is @Sabrina145 under a name change.

Yes, given that you have provided posters with zero context, you are unreasonable to:

  • expect anyone to be able to properly advise on your question
  • not put a smile on your face and forget about it for one evening for the sake of your visiting sibling
HowDoYouOwnDisorder · 31/12/2022 14:22

Depends what was said, and how, and why

Just from your OP it sounds like you are nurturing your hurt feelings and will sulk until there is an apology? Will you spoil everyone's NYE?

If they said really unforgiving things though, and are awful to you, maybe it's time to move out and pay rent and be independent?

Original poster
Sabrina145 · 31/12/2022 14:24

I do contribute financially yes. If I rented I couldn’t afford to save at all- that’s why I’m at home to save. I do clean around the but my washing usually gets done for me and same for cooking. It’s not that I won’t do it it’s just usually
done. I was called lazy because I was watching a film while parents were doing stuff in house. Only reason I wasn’t helping was they had been snappy with me previously and I was trying to stay out of way to avoid conflict.

OP posts:
LadyGaGasPokerFace · 31/12/2022 14:24

It is relevant what was said, as with zero context we’re only getting half a story as to why you’re upset.

Original poster
Sabrina145 · 31/12/2022 14:25

I posted above to address this.

OP posts:
Highlyflavouredgravy · 31/12/2022 14:26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Is your well paying job a paper round?

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 14:26

Sabrina145 · 31/12/2022 14:24

I do contribute financially yes. If I rented I couldn’t afford to save at all- that’s why I’m at home to save. I do clean around the but my washing usually gets done for me and same for cooking. It’s not that I won’t do it it’s just usually
done. I was called lazy because I was watching a film while parents were doing stuff in house. Only reason I wasn’t helping was they had been snappy with me previously and I was trying to stay out of way to avoid conflict.

You sound incredibly immature, you’ve had a spat with your parents, get over it and move on.

Enjoy your evening

Justcallmebebes · 31/12/2022 14:26

Depends what they said and whether there's any truth in it, but I'd try and put it aside whilst you have family visiting or you'll just be pissing everyone off more by being moody.

Perhaps it's time to start looking for your own place

Ihatethenewlook · 31/12/2022 14:28

You’re this upset because they called you lazy? Presumably they’ve got a lot to prepare if they’re expecting a visitor and preparing for nye celebrations. I do think you’re being a bit silly

HowDoYouOwnDisorder · 31/12/2022 14:30

But if they do your washing and cooking you ARE lazy

Be more proactive

Every time you see them clean/cook/wash jump up to help them

Nothing irritates me more than doing housework around people who are relaxing (and not offering to help)