Argument with family yesterday and can’t enjoy NYE

[Sabrina145]

So I live at home with parents at the moment due to financial pressures. (I have a good job can’t afford house in current climate and at home saving). Yesterday my parents said some things to me that hurt and insulted me. Now it’s tense and I’ve said I feel there should be an apology but nothing. One of my siblings who lives abroad is coming over for NYE tonight and they’ll act like nothing happened. But now I can’t pretend to be just happy to join in board games, watch TV etc. AIBU to be so annoyed they’re letting me spend NYE feeling like this? Not even addressing what they said to me yesterday. horrible feeling. Or should I enjoy the night as best I can with my sibling and just try to forget it.

So your parents told you off and instead of addressing it like a grown up and asking what they wanted you to do to help, you huffed off to 'get out of the way', conveniently absenting yourself and leaving them to do the work. So they told you off again.
You're acting like a child and they're treating you like one. Change the dynamic.

Haha. Grown adult sat on your arse watching a film while your parents cook and clean. What a spoilt brat.

Move out before you’re kicked out.

How old are you Op? You do
sound quite young to me.

You need to move on from this.

And also do your own washing!!

FYI, your washing and cooking doesn't 'get done'. Your mum does it, not the magic fairies. Start pulling your weight round the house and the situation might improve.

I was called lazy because I was watching a film while parents were doing stuff in house.

Lol, is that it?

As the Weegie taxi driver once said to my teenage self as I was fleeing the scene of a family party which had descended into full-scale pandemonium in the garden, "if the polis werenae called, hen, it's no' worth mentioning".

This. The whole of the OP's post stinks of entitlement and brash immature behaviour.

Having read the background to the "spat" OP you are 100% being unreasonable and a lazy ungrateful arse to boot.

I suggest you go and apologise and ask what you can do to help in the home NOW and stop sulking.

What will you do if your Parents get fed up of you and tell you to leave?

You see which side your bread is buttered don't you? Don't take the piss.

You’re behaving like a child, they’re treating you like a child. Probably a chicken and egg situation. It would be best for your relationship if you found your own place in the NY. If your have a decent job then a flatshare should be doable. But obviously you can’t change that right now so yes I’d stop sulking, even if you think they’re mostly to blame because you are only punishing yourself, and try to have a nice night with your sibling.

Hahaha is that it?! Get over it. Sounds like you were being lazy. Maybe do your own washing and buy food before it “gets done”

Afraid you do sound like rather a knob OP.

Possibly my favorite comment ever 😂

Seems to be 30 if the name change 92 gives anything away

When you move back in with your parents, it's very easy to fall back into the parent/child dynamic. How much are you saving each month? How much could you save if you moved into a flatshare?

Sometimes it's better for all parties if you share with strangers and not family. Might take you a bit longer to save up, but it might also be worth it for the impact on your family dynamics.

What do you do for yourself/the home?

You don't cook/clean/do laundry, you are lazing about while they tidy around you?

Okay thanks all. Some words harsher than others but I have taken all feedback on board thank you. I contribute financially very well so that’s not a concern. But yes sometimes after work etc I might not get to cooking and stuff before my mom has it done already. So I will be more conscious of that aspect. I already help with cleaning etc so I’ll def look at the cooking and washing!! Appreciate the feedback and maybe I needed to hear that!

It's natural to feel upset after a family row and it will take a bit of time for the raw feeling to fade but at least discussing it here may help.
Welcome your visiting sibling and while having a catch-up chat, tell her or him you are a bit upset and why. At least there will be some understanding on their part if you aren't able to enter into the spirit of things in a happy way.

It is really up to both your parents and you to try to heal the rift and soothe ruffled feathers. It's not all one side or the other. But whether it can be done in time for this New Year's Eve is doubtful, given how close it is to the row, with feelings still fresh. Depends if someone makes a first move or if the sibling might mediate to smooth things over. Try to look forward and think about bringing about a better brighter time in the New Year.

Good response, OP.

It's hard having adult children living with parents - for both parties.

I'm currently upstairs on my phone in my bedroom while daughter and her partner are downstairs watching TV in the lounge.

They have a right to be there but I wish I had my house to myself!!!!!

It's not a natural situation for anyone really but cut your parents some slack if they get a bit tetchy sometimes.

I can see why you thought it best to stay out of the way.

Probably better to have asked what you could do though?

I think you’re getting a hard time on here op. You weren’t watching a film to be lazy, you were trying to avoid conflict which depending what ‘being snappy’ means might be a fair enough response. Your parents tried to pull you back into conflict and that isn’t fair. I can understand why you’re upset.

If the issue is really housework then after Christmas has settled a open chat about what housework they’d like help with is the next step. If there’s actually more of a pattern of conflict you might need to move out.

Think some people are being unfair. Is there other more personal stuff going on that's behind it all? Families can bring out the worst in you, and also know how to get you exactly where it hurts. If it's just the laziness then fair-do's, they were right to have a go. But if there's more context (we don't need to know what it is) then that can be tough to deal with, and make smaller spats seem worse than they actually are.

we all got on each others nerves when living at ome op-i do realise its harder now to save than it was years ago but you all need to rub along if you want to stay long enough to get your own place

Perhaps just help out more, if they've commented on your laziness. It's their house, they're doing you the favour of staying there. Try not to be moody and argumentative. Be polite and civil, whilst saving up furiously to move out. Don't drag your sibling into it either, they would have been looking forward to seeing you all, for ages. So don't ruin it by creating an atmosphere.

Obviously it's insulting to be called lazy and most adults will do chores when they choose to and want to be able to finish a film in peace, then help out later. So I can see why it's irritating but I don't think it requires a formal apology and you should definitely let it go and enjoy NYE.

The problem with living with parents (or even visiting parents sometimes) is that it's very easy to fall back into old patterns of behaviour from childhood. Some parents never stop feeling they know best and this is exaggerated when you're still living with them like a teenager.

I think you'll just need to accept that living with your parents is going to involve being infantilised a bit. You can then decide whether it's worth the financial saving.

Ah right. Basically do more house work and you'll be fine pretend it's your own house with housemates so pull your weight.