Starting to really resent my dog

[StopBloodyBarking]

4 years ago (before anyone had heard of Covid so not a lockdown puppy) I bought a puppy. It was a breed I’d always wanted and she was perfect. I did everything by the book, training classes, socialisation classes etc - she excelled in all her classes and she really was perfect.

Then she hit 6 months old and changed. She became dog reactive - no idea why as I’d socialised her so much (in hindsight, too much). I worked on that but she became dog aggressive - then people aggressive. She hates men and kids. This means I can’t have my grandchildren over as it’s just not safe. Infact we can’t have anyone over, nobody visits anymore. All walks with her are stressful so we stick to the same route everytime and I try and walk her at times when the kids are at school so we’re less likely to see any. We can’t go anywhere as we’re so restricted with where she can go. I got a dog so I could take it to the beach, to the woods, to the park etc etc … I can’t take her anywhere. I’ve just braved a quiet beach with her and she screamed the place down before lunging and barking at anyone we came across, it was so embarrassing and after 10 minutes I gave up and came home.

I feel like a prisoner with her, every day is stressful and exhausting. I’m at the point now where i no longer want to walk her. But she’s so full of energy she needs it. I can’t rehome her as she’s aggressive. I’m stuck. I’ve had two behaviourists and 4 trainers. No difference. I’ve been told it’s all about “managing” her behaviour.

Sounds awful but I’ve started to fantasise about the time she’s no longer here :-( and I feel so guilty saying that as she adores me and I love her but I can’t do this for another 10 or so years. I’m really resenting how much time I’m missing out on with my grandkids because of her. All the places we can’t go, the days she’s ruined …. Just needed a rant really. So fed up.

The constant barking is driving me insane. She’s constantly “on guard”. I’m so tired of it.

Jeez I could have written this myself, can you PM me @StopBloodyBarking

I have pm'd you OP with a possible alternative suggestion.

You have my sympathy and I totally get your need to rant. We have been through something very similar and it is soul destroying, exhausting and extremely isolating. No matter how much you love the dog.

Years ago we had a GSD cross, rescued from a puppy farm as a pup and he was very similar, with serious fear aggression. He was the most fantastic puppy and like you we did a lot of work/training with him, but as soon as he hit adolescence (unfortunately compounded by a health issue that meant he had to be confined for a couple of months) he fell to pieces and became more and more aggressive.

We worked with two behaviourists, with little improvement and came to the point where we spent a whole night awake, sobbing and fretting, desperately trying to decide whether or not we should pts. We didn’t, in the end we moved house to somewhere where we were able to keep him secure, happy and settled at home, without putting him in situations that stressed him out or putting anyone else at risk. We then worked with a veterinary behaviourist, who put him on Prozac and worked with us through a strict behavioural programme. He was never ‘normal’, but we did get to the point where we could walk him (always muzzled) and he would ignore everyone and everything around him and we could built trust with essential people like the vet. Ultimately we had zero incidents of aggression from him for the last few years of his life. (We lost him to cancer when he was 7.)

BUT, we were in our early 20’s, no dc or family living close by and it was easy to avoid people coming to the house without restricting our lives too much. He was also fine with people and dog’s he had met when he was a puppy, so we had a network of his ‘friends’ which meant we weren’t isolated and also had dog-experienced dog-sitters who knew how to take care of him at our house if they were ever needed.

We were told by every professional that we worked with that some dogs simply aren’t fixable, their issues are genetic and compounded by the state of their mother during her pregnancy and their experiences as a newborn pup.

I have often thought that if we were at a different of stage of our lives we wouldn’t have been able to give him the level of attention and care that he needed to be helped and managed and there is every chance we would have had to make the worst decision. We couldn’t have had him living a miserable life of fear and anxiety, whilst knowing that others would have been at risk had he been put in a situation he couldn’t handle or heaven forbid, escaped from our property or something.

If I were you, I would look for a highly experienced veterinary behaviourist and get a full and honest assessment from them about whether they feel meds, plus a behavioural programme is likely to help. Veterinary behaviourists can work with you on the behaviour, while prescribing and managing the medication, tweaking if necessary and as the programme progresses. We found that simpler and more effective than trying to deal with both a behaviourist and vet.)

Some do. It all depends on the focus of aggression and the cause.

Blimey whatever you do don't contact Southend dog training. He uses aversive (cruel!!!) Methods and you'll end up in an even worse situation.

Where are you based? This guy in the midlands deals with aggressive dogs and rehabilitating them. Facebook him- Gabriel dog psychology.
He sorted my moms gsd

Exactly.

Some of the advice on this thread is incredibly irresponsible and some of it is even downright dangerous.

Ah, the bad Disney guard dog trope, maybe on a long metal chain, with a kennel with a peaked roof and a bog bone lying in front.

Being left on her own to bark and go mad in a scrapyard doesn't sound an ideal solution.

www.dyfed-powys.police.uk/police-forces/dyfed-powys-police/areas/about-us/about-us/dog-section/

you can emial or call about rehoming dog with police

Vet sounds awful , i have a border collie who is very anxious at the vets and tends to wee himself when there but the vets never pin him down for his injections and he has shown some aggression with them and only them due to fear, but they still deal with him gently still and he is slowly getting better

Completely unsuitable. But on par with the other Happy Fairy advice being given on this thread.

"Donated dogs will ideally be between 10 months and two years of age; be bold and confident but not too aggressive; have a bright inquisitive nature and willingness to play with a toy."

I would PTS as much as it pains me to say it. If she ever got out it doesn’t bear thinking about the damage she could do to a passing child.

It’s not worth the risk. It’s not like you’ve given up, it’s the best solution for everyone. I don’t think she’d be happy anywhere tbh.

Registered Veterinary Behaviourists UK abtc.org.uk/practitioners/?_abtc_role=veterinary-behaviourist&_species=dogs

Link fail!

ABTC Registered Veterinary Behaviourists

My advice won't be popular but she needs to be put down. She's making your life a misery - you can't spend time with your own gks or having friends because of her aggression. She can't be rehomed either.....there is only one solution and the best one including for her. She's too unhappy and aggressive to enjoy life......time to bring it to a close.
'

Give your dog to a rehoming centre. I did this once years ago. The relief was indescribable.

I also think PTS.

I haven't time to read through replies right now, so if this has been suggested apologies, but what about those CBD gummies for pets?
I doubt it'll get her stoned, but the affects may soothe her.
I've seen people on YouTube say they use cbd oil for dogs with anxiety.
Worth trying.

Also, regarding PTS, she is making your life miserable, but what if the way she is would suit another person?
Someone who has no family or wishes to have beach days etc?
If you try and rehome her with all the knowledge you have now you know her, then maybe it'll really work in her favour.

You can't live like this OP, I'm sorry.

The doghouse is also full of bad and conflicting advice. On top of that, many of the regular contributers are fucking nuts.

DHs grandparents had a German shepherd a docile loving thing, about 40 years ago. Grandfather in his seventies decided they would get another, despite lots and lots of warning/advice etc. Shortly after grandma died and grandfather cannot manage the dog, who was reactive, aggressive, no recall etc even on lead. She eventually had a twice daily walker, behaviourist/trainer, who made progress but grandfather was like five steps back when she was with him. In the end he was persuaded to re-home her, to the trainer, who was able to manage her. Trainer still has her and we see them out walking sometimes, he has no young children and she now behaves beautifully and most importantly seems so much more relaxed and happy. You've made progress OP but if you can't get her there, an appropriate rehoming placement can be found, especially if you look to breed specific groups

Yep, MN is the last place I would come for any sane advice about dogs!

This dog is just a wrong 'un considering the litter mates and that the father was permanently muzzled. It is ludicrous to suggest giving this dog to a rescue because who is going to give it a home. You've tried your best but this dog was doomed by its breeding. It needs to be put down before it rips some child's face off or kills someone or some combination of the two.

If anybody wants to read about what happens with false sentimentality about an aggressive large dog you can read here (there are no gruesome photographs):

www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/trust-ordered-to-pay-10k-after-it-homed-a-dog-that-attacked-taranaki-girl/LCCHSUVOVBCQRNQ2JCJC7EXTVE/

What a shame. Really feel for you. I always think 🙄 when I hear ‘it’s the owners fault’. Some dogs are born with mental health issues and not a thing anyone could do.

I heard someone saying that they give their dog CBD oil, not sure if this is something that would be useful to try. The lady that told me has a dog that suffers with anxiety.

Good luck!

I have a rescue GSD that I thought I'd made a mistake with. The rescue put me in touch with this guy:

www.facebook.com/groups/830596110447223

Saved my sanity. That was 8 yrs ago. Worth a try.

Not a helpful post from me but got say you did everything by the book but your dog is same age as mine and therefore was still a pup when lockdowns started. I think it affected our dog quite a bit - ppl didn't come up to socialize their dog with ours due to distancing and I probably gave off an air of wanting to distance myself from ppl so in other dogs that might've meant they started to 'protect' the owner.
So no solution but might offer an insight into cause of problems.