Starting to really resent my dog

[StopBloodyBarking]

4 years ago (before anyone had heard of Covid so not a lockdown puppy) I bought a puppy. It was a breed I’d always wanted and she was perfect. I did everything by the book, training classes, socialisation classes etc - she excelled in all her classes and she really was perfect.

Then she hit 6 months old and changed. She became dog reactive - no idea why as I’d socialised her so much (in hindsight, too much). I worked on that but she became dog aggressive - then people aggressive. She hates men and kids. This means I can’t have my grandchildren over as it’s just not safe. Infact we can’t have anyone over, nobody visits anymore. All walks with her are stressful so we stick to the same route everytime and I try and walk her at times when the kids are at school so we’re less likely to see any. We can’t go anywhere as we’re so restricted with where she can go. I got a dog so I could take it to the beach, to the woods, to the park etc etc … I can’t take her anywhere. I’ve just braved a quiet beach with her and she screamed the place down before lunging and barking at anyone we came across, it was so embarrassing and after 10 minutes I gave up and came home.

I feel like a prisoner with her, every day is stressful and exhausting. I’m at the point now where i no longer want to walk her. But she’s so full of energy she needs it. I can’t rehome her as she’s aggressive. I’m stuck. I’ve had two behaviourists and 4 trainers. No difference. I’ve been told it’s all about “managing” her behaviour.

Sounds awful but I’ve started to fantasise about the time she’s no longer here :-( and I feel so guilty saying that as she adores me and I love her but I can’t do this for another 10 or so years. I’m really resenting how much time I’m missing out on with my grandkids because of her. All the places we can’t go, the days she’s ruined …. Just needed a rant really. So fed up.

The constant barking is driving me insane. She’s constantly “on guard”. I’m so tired of it.

Both of those are fine, although I don't know the people who run them directly. www.gsdwelfarefund.co.uk/ I do know well and they are excellent. All rescues are quite snowed under though at the moment.

Behaviourists from the APBC and the FABC have direct contacts with national and breed specific rescues though.

It's not the dog's fault that she is completely unsuited as a domestic pet, if there is no way for her to have any quality of life surely it would be kinder to euthanize?
Ultimately the fault lies with the breeder, they knew exactly what they were doing but they just had their eyes on the money ☝🏻😡

Poor girl, and poor you.

Definitely try a different vet, yours sounds bloody awful. And speak to the breed-knowledgable rescues.

I was trying to be nice. A "good home" is a euphemism for get rid of her. But I see someone has since linked a German Shepherd rescue place among others.

For all those saying rescues won’t touch her….SOME will! I have just suggested Doges4rescue. Please see if they will help. Dogs 4 Rescue

You cannot live like this.

I hope that some of the suggestions here might work for you and your dog, but in the end, if they don't work effectively and quickly then I would say, without hesitation, give the dog a peaceful and secure ending.

You have your own life, your marriage and your relationship with your grandchildren to consider. I would be really upset if my Mum prioritised a dog over my children.

It's not your fault that your dog has been bred and turned out as she has. It's not her fault either, but she sounds stressed and unhappy. She shouldn't have to live like this.

@StopBloodyBarking Apologies if this has already been covered, but what do you feed her? Some dog foods can exacerbate anxiety and reactive behaviours. Its a last resort but you could try a 30 day restricted diet and see if it has any effect on her behaviour. Something like fish or chicken, cooked rice and cooked cabbage.

That's a lovely ideal, but the reality is that not all dogs can be rehabilitated and saved.

This dog is aggressive, as are her parents and the other dogs in her litter. You can't out-train shit genetics, unfortunately - some dogs are just wired wrong and deserve to be put out of their misery.

Just hand her over to a rehoming charity. Many badly behaved dogs are just the result of mistakes by poorly behaved owners, or the wrong home environment.

(If you doubt this, watch "Dogs behaving very badly" on TV).

www.channel5.com/show/dogs-behaving-very-badly

A good rescue charity will assess the dog during basic handling by experienced staff or volunteers, and from that, assess whether to retrain the dog themselves (in an experienced foster home) or send it to an experienced new owner willing to put in the time and effort to retrain . Many badly raised/ unsocialised/ badly behaved dogs can be re-trained and rehabbed into happy and rewarding companions for some other owner.

Your dog has years of life still in her. The best option for both of you, is to let it go to a responsible rescue charity. It's YOUR responsibility to make that happen.

I do feel for you, we went through something similar with a rescue GSD, aged 8. We did manage to turn her round although she was the only dog we had were we considered returning her to rescue. I was put in touch with South West GSD rescue who were fantastically helpful over the phone, one issue they identified was that the dog was so closely bonded to one person who did all the feeding and walking they in turn started to guard that person from dogs, and other humans leading to the aggressive behaviour. Not helpful for you if your husband refuses to help out in anyway. We were also recommended to Jan Fennell’s books on dog training which helped to break the separation anxiety.

Just hand her over to a rehoming charity. Many badly behaved dogs are just the result of mistakes by poorly behaved owners, or the wrong home environment.
(If you doubt this, watch "Dogs behaving very badly" on TV).

Oh that this was just the case. However, I'd not recommend 'Dogs Behaving Badly' as any sort of realistic or desirable way to tackle behavioural problems.

No, she'd be a terrible guard dog.
Guard dogs are trained to act fierce.
Good guard dogs are obedient, and above all they are not dangerous.

I know another GSD very like this, and sadly the only one that doesn't realise it would be better PTS is the owner. The dog has no quality of life, the owner's have no quality of life, and there's no other solution - except a life of misery for all and the constant fear that someone will be killed or maimed. It's not the breed, but it is the breeding.

Please don't listen to anything Graeme Hall has to say - he doesn't even have any qualifications and his methods are aversive at best.

I was going to suggest something happened to her but it sounds more like bad breeding. You could contact the police, army, Air Force, see if they’d be willing to take her on. Though it’s a long shot.
Do you know how her mother died?

I’m not a dog trainer but I have a reactive dog (though nowhere near as bad as yours) so have read a fair bit about training. I’m sure you’ve tried all advised methods and understand about triggers and stress stacking but did something happen to her around 6 months that could’ve kicked this off? You say that’s when she changed. Did an event occur that was out of the ordinary for her, not necessarily even a scary or bad thing, just something that was unusual and set off a fear reaction? I might be way off the mark and I’m not sure how helpful it would even be to deduce if there was a cause but it just came to mind. The breeder sounds like an absolute charlatan

I do feel for you OP but I also really feel for your dog. You have a highly sensitive animal but used hugely inappropriate training methods which increase fear levels – including the barbaric prong collar the psychological and severe physical damage including the potential for spinal injuries these can cause is well documented, they’ve been discredited by the vast majority of decent trainers and animal welfare groups. Your vet’s approach to animal welfare is equally outdated and unsuitable. Imagine you’re your dog, you’re nervous perhaps it’s a genetic trait, perhaps environmental, and the person with whom you should have the closest bond has repeatedly forced you into situations where you’re subjected to pain or forced to accept procedures that terrify you, a person would do anything possible to avoid those situations and be anxious about them happening again. A dog in this context draws on the only resource available to them which is to react with aggression. It’s no wonder your dog doesn’t feel safe with you in various situations. I’m sure this is not what you meant to happen but you should reflect on this and work out how to change things.

Find an animal-centred vet, and an ADPT-accredited trainer, ones who use methods that aren’t guaranteed to increase your dog’s levels of fear and anxiety. I had a reactive dog, bit hard enough to send me to A & E more than once. The problems started when they were around two. I changed vet to one who worked with rescue centres so had experience of fearful dogs, and got a decent ADPT accredited trainer with a focus on positive reinforcement and training in a low stress environment. My dog turned out to have physical and medical issues once addressed the animal-centred medical treatment plus new trainer turned things around. Had them until they died aged 13. It maybe you resort to euthanasia but it’s important you realise it didn’t have to be like this.

And it should be common sense BUT going forward recognise that you can’t expect an animal who’s nervous to improve via painful training methods or coercive techniques. I look forward to the time when the numerous animal welfare organisations campaigning against these methods - in particular choke and prong collars - are successful and they’re finally outlawed.

Finally think about posting in The Doghouse section where people have experience of dealing with traumatised animals.

None of those organisations would ever take a dog like this.

Police dogs are NOT aggressive - they may be trained to attack, but only on command. The rest of the time they are excellently behaved, calm and well socialised dogs - they need to be to do their jobs.

This. Is it really worse than another 10 years of misery for you both?

The training association website is here:

apdt.co.uk/

This seems like good advice OP? Its getting a bit "cancel the cheque" now so I hope you can pick out these recommendations and make some calls next week.

Contact Southend Dog Training (look them up on Instagram/tik tok)
They often work with dogs who have been written off my other trainers.

Have you considered southend dog training? They specialise in reactive dogs of which german shepherds are very prone considering their instinct to guard. They regularly discuss this breed and do seem to get results (and train the owner in how to handle this fantastic breed). They often tour the country, and I know if I’d reached the point you have I’d take them there as a last resort. They aren’t everyone’s cup of tea dog training wise but it sounds like you have exhausted other options. Reactivity in dogs is emotionally hard on owners because you don’t know what’s driven it and feel like its you amd what you have done. I’ve had a reactive dog that we’ve worked on techniques with this company amd they are a much calmer dog as a result. Is she a working line dog? Ours was and I think training the negative traits of the instincts they were bred for are much harder to handle.

I’d have the dog put down. I feel sorry for you and the dog too but I think it’s a big strong dog and it’s just not safe. I think you would feel huge relief.

@DogInATent , the sort of guard dog I was thinking of was something like on a farm or timber yard, where the dog could be housed in an enclosure where she could run around and bark, not patrol.

I think OP needs to post in the Doghouse section where people are experienced. There is too much bad and and conflicting advice on the thread.