15 year old drinking in my house

[Wheelerdeeler]

My family were here for a meal this evening. My brother and sil offered their 15 year old son a beer. He had 2.

I didn't say anything because it was a celebration for my parents so I didn't want to cause tension.

Would this bother you?

Yabu - not your son not your business

Yanbu - not on to encourage a 15 year old to drink in someone else's house

https://www.unsw.edu.au/news/2022/09/should-i-give-my-teen-alcohol--just-a-sip--the-whole-can--or-non

This contains link to the study about early normalisation of alcohol being linked to higher rates of teen drinking

Yet at the same time, most when they get to uni for most it's all they want to do is party and get hammered, regardless of the original age they started the booze.

I'm still shocked that so many of you are ok with this. My main gripe is that it was done in my house without my consent

I agree with this. I don't think anyone should be offering alcohol to under 18s in someone else's house without checking it's ok. Surprised that's controversial.

And yet the legal age for drinking across most of Europe is 16, suggesting it isn't the age at which people start drinking that is the issue.

In the uk it's legal from the age of 5 ,it's only in pubs ect, that it's 18

But why would a cuppa be different if that was offered instead, especially as offering booze in a pricey setting is not illegal ?

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/4770864/age-children-drink-alcohol-home-uk-legal-laws-pubs/

I don’t understand what OP is so offended by it and mentions inconsideration

if other family members let their kids smoke/drink/stay out late , doesn’t mean my kids have to . If my 15 year old DN was drinking and I didn’t want my 15 yo DD too then she wouldn’t be allowed.

Two bottles of beer, I wouldn't be concerned about. Not drinking to get drunk, drinking with a meal and not drinking things designed to hide the taste of alcohol like alcopops.
Legally 16 years olds can drink beer, wine, cider and Perry in a restaurant with a meal, purchased by an over 18. I also don't think offering a very is encouraging it. My friend's DS' also 15 was offered a beer last time we went there for dinner, he said no thanks.

A 15 yr old drinking 2 beers, with his parents, for a family celebration.

They didn't need your consent?. It's both legal and a legitimately balanced parenting technique to introducing alcohol.

Yes I am aware of that @Hawkins001. The point I was trying to make (and obviously not very clearly!) that the age that you can legally buy and drink alcohol in public is lower across Europe than in the U.K. which suggests that the U.K. drinking culture has nothing to do with the age you start drinking.

Surely though they can do balanced parenting in their own home and check before doing it in other people's?

Would adults need your consent to drink? I'm guessing that was just allowed.
The parents said it was fine. I don't get the problem. He probably wasn't pissed and smashing the house up after either?

If I was asked at 15 if I wanted a beer I would have said no but I know plenty of people that would.

You sound incredibly uptight.

It's legal.
It's normal.
It's all fine.

Theres nothing for you to consent to op. No one has done anything illegal or controversial. People are no more likely to guess that you don't allow 15 year olds to drink in your house than to guess you don't allow games consoles or eating in bed. Some people have those rules, but they are not usual.

My apologies, I mis understood

Most people wouldn't feel personally impacted by someone having a drink in their home. It's not like they lit up cigarettes or did something that had an effect on anyone else. That's why people are struggling to see the consideration aspect.

I wouldn't consider the impact on a third party in deciding if a teen can drink under supervision or not, because imo it's quite a strong opinion and also maybe the kind of thing you could make visitors aware of, who obviously considered eBay they were doing as something pretty normal

I'm not sure what the problem is. His drinking 2 beers is not negatively impacting you in any way at all - unless he took your beer without asking, or the parents didn't bring some food and drink contributors to the meal etc.. or you are worried about the cost as you'd only bought enough for the adults etc ..

Why does he need your consent to have a beer his own parents have agreed to? How does it affect you?

It seems that your main concern is with your own child witnessing this and maybe you r concerned your child will now start questioning your rules and want to drink a couple of beers when they are 15 too. I get that concern. It's the same when small kids see others playing computer games and then pester their parent to have the same. Or kids wear Nike trainers and then ask for the same. But that kind of thing will always happen as different people parent differently. If you don't want your own teenager to drink when they are 15, you will just have to explain to them that every family has different rules for their children and explain why you won't allow a teenager a couple of beers, but another family will.

I was always quite relaxed with alcohol with my DC. Anything forbidden holds far greater appeal in my eyes.

If you feel so strongly, you should make gatherings at your house that include under 18s alcohol free for all, then everyone would know where they stand. As you see, it wouldn't cross most people's minds that you would want to control whether their teen drank alcohol or not.
Given the lack of legal guidance or consensus on this, its not your place to impose an arbitrary age upon which alcohol consumption moves from inappropriate to fine for other people's teens, so if you think alcohol is a problem for teens, why not lead by example and ban it altogether?

What happened when you said no to your brother, that this wasn't acceptable?

“Without my consent’ 😂😂

And yet, this doesn't negate the point. Europe is riddled with alcoholism.