Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

Is your DH the same? Guest prep

183 replies

Leothebear · 29/12/2022 20:11

Every single time we are prepping the house for guests, here the things my DH thinks are absolutely essential and starts to do tirelessly:

Clean the toilet? NO
Prep the food? NO
Dust? Hell NO

Clean the kitchen drawer no one will open? HERE WE ARE
Reorganize the file cabinet? SURE THING
Vacuum the garage? YES YES YES

Is my DH the only one? And Why???

OP posts:

NoKnit · 29/12/2022 20:14

No mine is the same.

Not so much before guests but before we are due to go away I run around Luke a headless chicken sorting out all the laundry etc making sure fridge is run down abd he decides to sort out some lego sets.

He'd be the same with guests in fairness we just rarely have any

FlipFlopFairy · 29/12/2022 20:14

My husband will often clean his car as ‘preparation’ for visitors. They’re not going in the damn car so why does it matter??

Sqqueeeeeeee · 29/12/2022 20:15

You’re not unreasonable and you’re not alone.

“I just need to parcel up this thermostat I ordered by mistake and drop it off at the Evri point”
”I need to tighten the oven door”
”I want to replace the cover on the wing mirror on the car”
”I need to measure how high our energy meter is off the ground”
”Should I install the new dog flap?”

All of these were said last week when I was trying to prepare for guests - avoiding doing important things is DH’s most productive time.

Clovacloud · 29/12/2022 20:16

Mine wipes down window sills obsessively if people are coming to visit. No idea why, can’t say I’ve ever looked at the window sills of someone’s house when we visit!

Skyeheather · 29/12/2022 20:18

Mine is the same, spent two hours cleaning his home office on Christmas Eve then ensured the door stayed shut for the whole of Christmas Day so nobody could see in it anyway!

TheCraicDealer · 29/12/2022 20:18

When I’m preparing for guests and saying how much I have to do whilst complaining about DH’s lack of activity, he has said (and I quote), “What do you mean I ‘don’t clean’?! I’ll have you know I dusted the skirting boards around the toilet whilst I was having a shit yesterday!”. The man has very average length arms, which means he can only reach c. 30% of said skirting boards in that room. I can only assume he thinks said guests will not look at the other 70%. Or indeed the toilet itself, sink, taps or anything else that might actually require cleaning.

We’ve just had his mum and brother over Xmas and had it been left to him he would have ceased preparations at changing the bedding in the spare room before he left for the airport.

downnew · 29/12/2022 20:18

Yes, why do they do that?! I'll be rushing around tidying and he'll either do nothing, have a shower, or hang all his clean clothes in the wardrobe. Great, they've sat in the laundry basket for weeks, but the visitors won't see that?! They won't even go upstairs!!

GaspingGekko · 29/12/2022 20:19

Yup, literally yesterday my DH saw fit to clear out and reorganise the pantry/storage room off the kitchen, while me and MIL cleaned bedrooms and bathrooms.

Totally feel your pain OP.

StrawberryWater · 29/12/2022 20:20

Used to be but we had words.

Now he readies the house when he has his family / friends over and I do it when I have my family / friends over.

Its a good system and pretty equal.

SallySunrise · 29/12/2022 20:22

Basically they don't want to do any of the shit work but they know they need to look busy.

Stbxdp does this. He moves out in two weeks. Not the only reason but it's on the list.

Original poster

Leothebear · 29/12/2022 20:22

But...Why??? This is a mistery to me.

OP posts:

SeaToSki · 29/12/2022 20:27

I had one of those … still do…. I manage it by sitting down with him and a list a couple of days before the crunch time and we both add stuff to the list. Then we prioritise with two categories, importance and urgency. We both choose items that are both important and urgent until they are all done, then we move onto the others. It stops a lot of the random garage tidying !

stripeymonster · 29/12/2022 20:30

Slightly different but on moving day when the house was still not packed Dh thought it a great time yo take garden rubbish to the tip (40 minute round trip) also thought he'd stop off at Halfords and top up his car oil on the way back. Unbelievable even when I pointed out how unhelpful he was being, he still couldn't see it!

BenoitBlanc · 29/12/2022 20:34

Haha. Same here.

"PEOPLE ARE COMING! I MUST REORGANISE THE SHED!"

Vgbeat · 29/12/2022 20:36

This is my husband to a t. I run around cleaning everywhere people will go, he will tidy the office (nobody goes on and can just shut the door) or will make things worse. Or worse if I'm out will tell me don't worry ill do it and come home and nothings done

Bayleaf25 · 29/12/2022 20:39

🤣🤣 in the summer DH default is to cut the grass. In the winter for an unthinkable reason it’s to clean the windows even if guests are only arriving/leaving in the dark. I know I should be grateful but ….,,,

CatsCakeandCosy · 29/12/2022 20:40

Yes! Same here! Our general Christmas / pre-guest routine is:

Me :”Feeling a bit overwhelmed DH, there is so much to do, can you keep X time free to muck in?”
DH “Of course, no probs, don’t stress, we’ll
do it together”.

I then run around shopping, cooking, cleaning, changing the bedding. DH works tirelessly doing thing like (on Christmas Eve) power washing the patio and going through boxes of kitchen items stored in the attic (where they have been for years) “in case there’s something of use in there”.

He works so hard that I feel like a complete cow when I point out that what he has done was not the priority and didn’t help me at all…

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/12/2022 20:40

My ex was like this. We’d have a houseful descending, often his idea, and he’d decide to rearranging his fucking dvds or clean the hoover instead of anything useful to anyone else. Drove me absolutely insane.

DH puts me to shame and I’m pretty efficient, he’s like a cleaning, tidying whirlwind of efficiency and effectiveness and good prioritisation (a real word?!) and hosts better than anyone ever I’ve met.

Giveaschitt · 29/12/2022 20:41

Yes! My husband once took all the cds off the shelves and started sorting them an hour before his parents arrived! Your mum is not going to give a shite that Queen is filed between The Beatles and Mike and the Mechanics mate...

Oysterbabe · 29/12/2022 20:41

DH does this whenever we are rushing for anything. We're already late and need to leave the house half an hour ago, better unload the dishwasher and fold laundry.

Maraudingmarauders · 29/12/2022 20:41

Last time we had visitors we were mid clean and tidy and I looked to see where he had gone - he was chopping down a tree in the garden. Filled the lawn with branches we had no way of getting rid of before guests came. Why? "The tree looked a mess"

Oysterbabe · 29/12/2022 20:45

The other thing mine does is take something that had been tidied away, decide we need rid of it, puts it in the hall for a couple of months where I regularly fall over it until he gets round to going to the tip. How about leave it the fuck alone until the day of the tip run?!?!

Sqqueeeeeeee · 29/12/2022 20:47

I read this out loud to my DH he just said “no, stop relating to these!” 😂

Excited101 · 29/12/2022 20:48