Is your DH the same? Guest prep

[Leothebear]

Every single time we are prepping the house for guests, here the things my DH thinks are absolutely essential and starts to do tirelessly:

Clean the toilet? NO
Prep the food? NO
Dust? Hell NO

Clean the kitchen drawer no one will open? HERE WE ARE
Reorganize the file cabinet? SURE THING
Vacuum the garage? YES YES YES

Is my DH the only one? And Why???

What time are people arriving? 15 mins? Good, time enough to dismantle the pipes under the kitchen sink and clean them (I'm not joking)

It’s just a way to leave all the shitty, uninteresting, boring jobs (that actually need doing) to you. It’s not cute, nor a mystery. It’s a convenient way of opting out.

Mowing the lawn. Essential apparently.

This is exactly what mine does too 😂

Yep mine too. His contribution to prepping for the neighbours coming over was to be him taking the car to the car wash until I put my foot down.

See also trying to get the kids and me ready to go out to a funeral and I couldn't find DH. He'd for some unknown reason decided that weeding the front garden, IN HIS SUIT ,was a priority even though no one would be coming round to our house.

They never just clean the toilet do they?

I get days of ‘chill out babe! It’s not a state visit’ and then roughly 10 mins before they arrive ‘oh shit do we have milk/wine/something for dinner’ 🙄 Yes we do, DH- because I sorted all this yesterday…

These are gold.

Mine does the last minute fetching last time it was club soda and limes or something but it really is last minute. We are steaming from getting ready, he still needs to shower, it's a temperate night. He decides to start "cheery" fires in fireplaces. We had discussed this. No. There will be a million people in our house. We will probably open windows if anything. We have not had the fireplaces checked or cleaned since we moved in. DO WE EVEN KNOW FLUE STATUS?

One started smoking and I quashed all his cheery fireplace visions.

Yes my husband had a strong tendency to do this at visitor times or festive/ special days. I pointed it out , told him we needed to work as a team to do the things that needed done to make the house presentable and he did it. Grudgingly to begin with as he realised he wasn't getting away with fucking about as a smoke screen for not being involved.
He now 8 years later does not need told and often initiates the cleaning.

My dad was like this and it drove my
mum crazy. I write a list of things that need to be done and divide them up with DH so they all do get done, and so that nothing unnecessary distracts him. It’s annoying to have to be the adult/boss, but not as annoying as it would be having him faff around pressure-washing the patio when the toilet needs cleaning (as my dad did once. In his best chinos which then got coated in crap).

This Christmas DH turned his office back in to the spare room, deep cleaned main bathroom, hoovered the entire house and cleaned lampshades. I do have to give instructions. He would be doing weird stuff but my very direct charming self and refusing any visitors of his unless he is a real adult works.

Yep. Used to annoy me but now I ignore and leave him to it. He also washes the car before driving to his parents. Even if it was washed 2 days before. It’s his issue, not mine.

I've spoken to 2 friends about this. My DH usually "tidies the porch" eg inexplicably spends about 2 hours putting a few pairs of shoes and an umbrella away, and hoovers an area that is about 1m square and guests will spend a nano second there. Both friends both say their DH always tidies the understairs cupboard!🤣

This! With all the bells ringing. My DP does it and it makes me seethe.

Pair socks, an hour before guests were due to arrive, we are a household who does not pair socks often, they live in a large draw in the airing cupboard... but no...when we are cleaning ready for guests they must be paired 🙄

I think that, as well as trying to avoid the shitwork, a lot of them are just incapable of prioritising. DH is terrible at working out what really
needs doing NOW and what does need doing but can wait. We’ll
be having people over for
dinner and he’ll look at the glass oven door and say, ‘Shall I take that off and give it a scrub?’ No. No, DH, because I’m about to start cooking a roast dinner. Yes, the oven door probably could do with a good soaking, but not at this very minute.

Mine has been known to vacuum at such times, but with a focus on areas such as the tops of the doors, which apparently I always neglect. FFS.

Yes! The shed and garage are beautifully clean and the new wheels on his car look fantastic! I’m surprised that our guests weren’t shown around those.

My people🙌 DP will insist on tidying the bedroom (even though our door would be closed) or doing something as important as cleaning out the fridge, even though nobody even as much as steps foot in our kitchen, nevermind inspects our bloody fridge . He has also been known to do the garden, in winter, before my DDad has arrived.. to sit in our living room.

😂
DP came home and started this today - tomorrow is DSS birthday and NYE we have guest arriving and a party to organise. I said “darling, do you think you should wrap the presents/write the card/strip the beds first? The house is not cold and no one else will hear the slight gurgling in our bathrooms towel heater”

He’s normally the most logical, helpful, capable man - it’s parties that send him do-lally!

This reminds me of doing a deep clean for end of tenancy. My boyfriend at the time started sorting through the shed in the garden that was full of shit but not been touched by anyone since we’d moved in while everyone else was up to their ears cleaning 😭

I am so relieved it’s not just my dh! Judgemental in-laws were visiting with very short notice. I was working the day they were arriving so asked him to get everything ready for them. Came home from work 30 minutes before they were due to arrive and he proudly told me how he’d spent the day on the roof cleaning the solar panels!!!

I think I used to be a nicer person because I didn't get angry when DH decided he needed to steam wash the outside of the house, leaving me inside entertaining relatives with a newborn and a small child in tow.

It was portrayed as important work you see.

I hear you! on Xmas eve, yes Xmas eve, while I was running around chopping veg, cleaning and cooking, DH felt the need to cut the grass!! No bugger was going to go anywhere near the garden on Xmas day, he couldn't understand why I was peeved!