Is your DH the same? Guest prep

[Leothebear]

Every single time we are prepping the house for guests, here the things my DH thinks are absolutely essential and starts to do tirelessly:

Clean the toilet? NO
Prep the food? NO
Dust? Hell NO

Clean the kitchen drawer no one will open? HERE WE ARE
Reorganize the file cabinet? SURE THING
Vacuum the garage? YES YES YES

Is my DH the only one? And Why???

Mine hoovers, jet washes & disinfects the garden (we have dogs) but in winter when no one in the right mind will even open the back door let alone venture out there 🤷🏽‍♀️

This thread has just started a domestic in my kitchen 😂

I am reading out some of the familiar activities to my DH (who is helpfully doing the dishes right now). He is getting all worked up defending the Husbands represented here.

On this year's Christmas Eve job list was power washing the patio, cleaning the garden, and building a pantry!

It’s the opposite in my household. My DH is determined to convince me that other men are all as bad so leaving him over this would be futile

Because they genuinely do not "see" what needs doing. It’s taken me decades to accept this. One of our first ever parties was on a dark, wet winter night…..he cleaned the windows.

@TheCraicDealer

Shitting and dusting at the same time is excellent multitasking skills 😂

DH used to be like this, but somehow has changed and is now the one who takes charge of the cleaning before we have guests. Unfortunately he's become a bit of a perfectionist. Last week, in the time it took him to clean the oven and fridge, I dusted, hoovered, mopped, cleaned the bathroom, changed the bedsheets, and cleaned the kitchen cupboards, cooker hood, and any other surfaces. But, to be fair, the oven and fridge were absolutely spotless when he was done.

At last, I have found my tribe! 🤣🤣

Not a guest one, but when we were about to sell our flat via an open day, I took the kids out for a few hours so DH could do some in depth tidying (as the place was a tip). When I got back he had intensely tidied... the spice rack.

I think he was a bit surprised I wasn't as pleased as he was by this.

In retrospect I think this is something to do with his very probable ADHD (DS has diagnosis , it's making DH and everyone who knows him think that could explain a lot!)

Yep, what on earth are they thinking? I've just had to collaborate on cleaning the tea cupboard for new years eve. I don't think anyone attending on new years eve will be going in the tea cupboard 😂

My OH spent Christmas eve sanding and painting the front door. He ran out of time for the second coat so it now sits there, patchy and unfinished until the next time we host, I assume.

Yup. No idea why. I’ve even tried giving him a list. But unless the words “organise your tools and tidy up the back porch” are on that list he either ignores it or doesn’t read it. I mean at this point I’m beginning to wonder if he even can read 😂 I love him to death but fucking hell. No one is going in the back porch. HOOVER THE PLAYROOM

@Sugargliderwombat - that's the other thing. Job that has been needing doing for months? And will take some time?

He will decide to do it when we have to be somewhere in half an hour, but then I have to let him do it because otherwisebGod only knows how long it'll be before he has the urge to do it again.

In the days before Christmas this year, when we were hosting the entire family for lunch, DH reorganised his wardrobe and also the games cupboard. Neither of which were likely to be opened by our guests.

He also specialises in doing gardening before we have evening guests who won’t be leaving the house, or tidying up the spare room if we’re having a backyard bbq and nobody is staying the night.

Same here!

Also, we were visiting friends today and were tight for time when leaving as we have toddlers. So, me the 2 and the 4 year old are all sat in the car buckled in and he starts cleaning the car! Literally couldn't make it up! We're going on the motorway to get there 🙈🙈🙈

Do people actually vacuum their garages? 😳

(missing point of thread)

I think my husband is leading a double life, can I ask? Was it autumn, raining and with no plans to go outside? 😞

Obviously

Don't you?

OMG😨

😁

Mine is terrible about that kind of thing. During the multi-day cook-a-thon I do to prep all the food for the holidays, I was run off my feet and asked him to do the dishes because I really needed all my mixing bowls and whisks and pans for the cooking again tomorrow.

Well, he did them. Every cup, mug, saucer, and all of my largest flower vases were absolutely spotless and shining in the cupboards. I think he actually went looking for other vases that were in the garage that weren’t cleaned up to his standards, and given them another scrub.

But he had washed zero mixing bowls. No pots or pans. No mixing spoons, whisks, measuring cups or spoons. I can’t make a pie in a vase! I was gobsmacked, and actually almost cried, but when I asked him what on earth he was thinking he replied that the mixing bowls wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher after he put the vases in.

Make it make sense.

Oh yes this is all too familiar.

Last minute packing for holiday and taxi coming within the hour? ... Ideal time to chainsaw random trees in the garden and then traipse mud and leaves and green bins across the floors (just vacuumed and mopped for pet-sitter arrival).

Guest coming imminently? ... Yes let's do some random thing involving turning any one if one of several bikes upside down / messing with chains / oil / bric-a-brac or other bike 'emergency.'

Absolutely. I still bear a grudge for the time years ago that DH invited friends for an evening meal on a day when I was going to be out all day. I said fine, but clearing up and catering is going to be totally down to you. I got back exhausted about an hour before the guests were due, to find DH proudly displaying - a soap dish he had bought and screwed to the wall near the sink. He had done bugger all tidying and hadn't even begun any food prep, but he just couldn't understand why I didn't express any appreciation for his kindness in putting up the sodding soap dish.

I felt quite sorry for the guests, not only did they have to wait a looooong time for their meal but they arrived to a horrendous atmosphere with their hosts struggling to speak to each other. But at least DH learnt his lesson, because every time there has been a comparable situation subsequently I've given him a list and made him swear on his life that he will do NOTHING else until the list is completed.

Mine is the same, we hosted 15 people on Boxing Day and he chose that morning to start clearing out the cupboard under the stairs, which was not going to be needed at all while anyone was here. The guests arrived to DH surrounded by hoover parts, the mop etc, strewn across the hall.

My husband does cooking tasks whilst I get everthing ready for guests. But they are really minimal things like he has to check the meat is still marinated or the cheese board is still there. He might too up the peppermill or put a lemon out to slice later.

They know they need to help, or at least be seen to be doing something. But they definitely don’t want to clean the loo or any adjacent useful job, so they pick out something they’d kind of like to get done anyway - something peripheral and low stress, that will get them off the hook and give them a sense of achievement, and hopefully a nice pat on the back.

Many years ago I was wigging out with stress and needing help with half a dozen jobs as a load of people were literally about to arrive, when I found DH knee deep in piles of CDs he’d pulled out of the cupboard and was ‘reorganising’ for god only fucking knows what reason. This from a man who as part of his job is highly organised and has to prioritise on an hourly basis. I honestly can’t explain it - it’s like some massive domestic brain fart.

Since then he’s upped his game exponentially. Couldn’t do Christmas etc without him, he works just as hard as I do, but it’s taken a little while (decades) to get there!

Reorganise the DVD collection
Sort the cupboard under the stairs
Devise a new system for recycling paper