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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For staying in bed all day at 9 months pregnant?

109 replies

Yoyooo · 29/12/2022 15:55

I am currently 40+2 with painful piles and SPD.

Somehow we moved house yesterday so it's a bit of a mess with boxes but not too bad. I have a 5 year old pretty much keeping himself to himself with the help of his toys and an iPad, and my husband and mother in law are sorting out the unpacking.

Upstairs is done so I have it ready for when baby makes their appearance.

Yesterday I felt really good so managed to do a lot of organising etc but today I am shattered and in a bit of pain, I put some clothes away this morning but other than that I have been in bed.

DH says he is fine with that but I have had a few comments like 'you were fine yesterday now you're miserable' etc. and I have asked for a drink when unable to move because of the pain and had to get it myself. Basically I can tell when DH is unhappy, but he is saying he is fine.

Should I pull myself out of bed and do some bits even to show I am trying? I feel guilty hearing them doing everything downstairs whilst I am just lying here.

OP posts:

Newlifestartingatlast · 30/12/2022 12:55

ImustLearn2Cook · 30/12/2022 12:54

@Yoyooo Take it easy and rest. Look after yourself. Don’t push yourself too hard.

I hope your husband changes his attitude and shows you a bit more empathy and support.

Have you had any treatment for your spd like physiotherapy? I’ve heard that it can relieve pain.

Ime, by the time you get an appointment with physio you’ve given birth and things are naturally getting better. Although physio after birth would be helpful still.

LemonBounce · 30/12/2022 13:13

Well done for moving house and helping yesterday really impressive! Important to have a crash day today and be able to lie down. Feel no guilt whatsoever you have done amazingly

HaggisWurst · 30/12/2022 13:25

God no. Stay in bed. Rest. Relax. I'm 35+1 and have started feeling it the last two days and I've already been asking for more help doing normal things which wouldn't be a problem before

DilettanteMum · 30/12/2022 15:15

Frankly this sounds like grounds for divorce from DH.

tiredmama23 · 30/12/2022 16:05

@Newlifestartingatlast

Well yes, thank you for explaining that to me🙄

Obviously I am aware that she is growing and not just carrying a baby. FYI - I've grown two myself.

I was simply using that poster's terminology to make the point. That poster insisted that OP was unreasonable for allowing others to "carry the load" of the house move. I pointed out that anyone who thinks that needs to remember that OP is carrying a whole fucking human baby.

I copied that poster's terminology to make the point. I am however fully aware of how babies come into existence.

Newlifestartingatlast · 30/12/2022 17:34

tiredmama23 · 30/12/2022 16:05

@Newlifestartingatlast

Well yes, thank you for explaining that to me🙄

Obviously I am aware that she is growing and not just carrying a baby. FYI - I've grown two myself.

I copied that poster's terminology to make the point. I am however fully aware of how babies come into existence.

🙄🤦‍♀️I wasn’t getting at you …just making my own point about how stupid the term is…what bit of that don’t you understand 🤷🏼‍♀️

ImustLearn2Cook · 30/12/2022 22:20

@Newlifestartingatlast You are being unnecessarily aggressive and hostile towards @tiredmama23.

And no, you are not justified by your personal opinion regarding the term carrying a baby.

I got her original point by the way and I was rather taken aback by your response to her when you quoted her.

When I was pregnant the fact is I was growing a baby and the fact is I was carrying her inside me. And when I was 40 + weeks (like the Op) the fact is I was not growing a baby anymore as they were fully grown and preparing to be birthed. The fact is I was still carrying her.

And where do you get off trivialising that aspect of pregnancy?

Where do you get off being offended by a fact and taking it out on other people?

Newlifestartingatlast · 31/12/2022 08:14

ImustLearn2Cook · 30/12/2022 22:20

@Newlifestartingatlast You are being unnecessarily aggressive and hostile towards @tiredmama23.

And no, you are not justified by your personal opinion regarding the term carrying a baby.

I got her original point by the way and I was rather taken aback by your response to her when you quoted her.

And where do you get off trivialising that aspect of pregnancy?

Where do you get off being offended by a fact and taking it out on other people?

🫤I think you both missed the point of my post entirely. I was not disagreeing with her at all. I was actually re-enforcing what she said…and then bulding on it with my own point. I was quoting her not attacking her or actually replying to her persay… I actually thought she made a valid point and hence was building on it. The poster clearly misconstrued that, as have you. And btw you do continue to grow a baby right up to point the umbilical cord is cut

but hey ho, there is always a risk on MN that people will perceive a point negatively and take offence where there was no offence was meant and actually was amplifying her point
🤷🏼‍♀️

Mariposista · 31/12/2022 08:36

I couldn’t do it as my other child would get upset with me being away from him all day and not being ‘normal’, playing with him, having lunch with him and giving him cuddles etc but you do what you need to do if that works for your family. You certainly don’t need ti be unpacking stuff, that can wait.

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