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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For staying in bed all day at 9 months pregnant?

109 replies

Yoyooo · 29/12/2022 15:55

I am currently 40+2 with painful piles and SPD.

Somehow we moved house yesterday so it's a bit of a mess with boxes but not too bad. I have a 5 year old pretty much keeping himself to himself with the help of his toys and an iPad, and my husband and mother in law are sorting out the unpacking.

Upstairs is done so I have it ready for when baby makes their appearance.

Yesterday I felt really good so managed to do a lot of organising etc but today I am shattered and in a bit of pain, I put some clothes away this morning but other than that I have been in bed.

DH says he is fine with that but I have had a few comments like 'you were fine yesterday now you're miserable' etc. and I have asked for a drink when unable to move because of the pain and had to get it myself. Basically I can tell when DH is unhappy, but he is saying he is fine.

Should I pull myself out of bed and do some bits even to show I am trying? I feel guilty hearing them doing everything downstairs whilst I am just lying here.

OP posts:
BigBunkers · 29/12/2022 15:56

Even if you hadn’t moved house yesterday you wouldn’t BU to stay in bed all day!

Oldraver · 29/12/2022 15:56

No go back to bed and tell him not to be such a twat

Lapland123 · 29/12/2022 15:57

You poor thing, stay in bed, it’s so difficult to exist at 9 months pregnant xxx

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 29/12/2022 15:57

No. Stay in bed unless he wants you to go into labour with the house unfinished?

Frenchfancy · 29/12/2022 15:57

Of course YANBU. Let them get on with it. Rest while you can.

And remind DH that you are busy making his baby and are soon going to have to go through labour so a drink would not be too much to ask.

HappyintheHills · 29/12/2022 15:59

YANBU and frankly have already gone above and beyond. Please rest up and look after yourself and baby.

vintagechristmas · 29/12/2022 15:59

Good grief stay in bed. I had SPD in my second pregnancy and the pain is horrendous. I spend the last week in bed unable to move. Baby came at 39 weeks. You must feel horrendous Flowers

Crunchymum · 29/12/2022 16:00

You moved house at 40w? In-between Christmas and NY? Fuck me, I need to go for a lay down just reading that!

Seriously though, what makes you think you are being unreasonable? No heavily pregnant woman should be expected to do anything other than bloody rest.

Emmamoo89 · 29/12/2022 16:00

Stay in bed and rest as much as possible. Your dh is being an arsehole x

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/12/2022 16:01

No, you need to rest.

BettyStogs · 29/12/2022 16:02

You absolutely should be able to stay in bed, but if you feel that you should be doing something (other than growing a new person), and feel up to it, can you se the time to phone bank, council etc to change your address?

Merryoldgoat · 29/12/2022 16:04

When I had both of those issues my DH waited on me hand and foot.

rakingitover · 29/12/2022 16:05

No way I'd have been able to move house when I was 9 months pregnant. Absolutely stay in bed and rest. It's probably taken it out of you doing stuff yesterday. Just try and rest. And don't feel guilty. They'll be fine getting on with it and then they can rest too.

Lapland123 · 29/12/2022 16:08

I was essentially forced to attend a wedding at 9 months pregnant and I still greatly resent my husband and his family for doing this, though years have gone by.
of course I was too naive and weak to stand up for myself
stay in bed!!

ThreeblackCats · 29/12/2022 16:11

There’s nothing I can add that hasn’t been said.
Enjoy a day of resting, the next one could be a long way away.

Congratulations on your imminent little one.

FarmersWife2019 · 29/12/2022 16:20

Your only answer to his comments should be… www.instagram.com/reel/Cjpe2MnjEz_/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

AIBU123456789 · 29/12/2022 16:49

You moved house while 9 months pregnant!?!? Of course you are not being unreasonable for resting today (and the next few days/until you go in to labour). DP would have been waiting on me hand and foot if that had been me!

AftersomeAdvice234 · 29/12/2022 16:51

You need to rest. Stay in bed

AftersomeAdvice234 · 29/12/2022 16:52

It’s like asking him to move houses when he has the flu (can’t really compare it to him being pregnant) he would need several days in bed after. You moved whilst 9 months pregnant and he was and is able bodied

Original poster
Yoyooo · 29/12/2022 17:02

He has had to do pretty much everything as I can't be lifting or moving things and I have had to look after my 5 year old so he doesn't get in the way.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yoyooo · 29/12/2022 17:04

Sorry I posted too soon. It's frustrating for me because I want to get unpacked especially all my clothes but I can't even get the energy to do that.

He keeps saying come downstairs and be socialable but we don't have have a sofa (I asked him to bring that first but he hasn't and will get it tomorrow) so I only really have the bed to be comfortable.

I feel very out of control as we both know I can't do much so he is calling the shots.

OP posts:
Monica2507 · 29/12/2022 17:10

I'm not as far along in pregnancy as you, and I haven't moved house, yet I've been in bed/on the sofa all day. So you have even more reason than me!

Mamiamamia · 29/12/2022 17:13

Remind him of the exhausting labour and birth that you will be going through any day now! And then the sleepless nights with a brand new baby! Get all the rest you can right now xxx

parietal · 29/12/2022 17:15

definitely lie in bed.

if you feel you want to do something, why not invite the 5 year old to sit on the bed next to you & share his cartoons? it would make him happy to be with you & then you can leave DH to do everything else.

Duckmylife · 29/12/2022 17:50

Sorry to say this op, but your DH sounds like an a-hole. You're carrying a baby, and he couldn't even get you a drink? He's guilt tripping you for something you can't control. And he decided not to bring the sofa for you to lie down on, but he still expects you to go downstairs and somehow muster up enough energy to socialise. What does he expect you to do, lie down on the floor???