He mimicked me, then told me to F off

[Chipsandeggagain]

Last night Dh was asleep in bed with Dd, 4. He did her bedtime then fell asleep. I was downstairs watching tv and our dog started barking like crazy, she’d heard some firework sounds outside and wouldn’t start barking. This was around midnight and I was trying to get her to stop, Dh was shouting down the stairs that the dog would wake Dd up (more likely to be woken by him shouting in the same room as him!)
She stopped and I came up to bed, he was storming around, pissed off to have been woken up and heading to go downstairs. I asked him where he’d put my charger (he’d borrowed it and mine was out of battery) he got alI saying he didn’t know and probably the wire part was downstairs, really moody with me and speaking to me like crap. I started to be like ‘Okay ffs’ 🤷🏻‍♀️I’m am exasperated and confused way as if no need to be so angry..it’s hard to explain my reaction. He then stormed downstairs mimicking me and shouted ‘F off, (my name)!’

What would be your resection to this?

I sent him a Fb message (couldn’t be bothered to go downstairs as too tired)
asking why the hell he’d spoken to me like that etc. He said he was shocked at being woken by the dog and sorry he spoke in a moody way but I was also asking for his charger in a moody way (I wasn’t)
I told him it was nothing like that at all.
I’ve avoided him today.

What would you do in this situation? Do your dh’s/dp’s speak to you/act like this?

Agree, but we can usually be confident that anyone posting on here will be telling it so they look in the best light. The other side, and the truth, is likely to be less flattering.

not more

You effed and him and he reciprocated. No ones at fault. He was woken up (not you fault) and was annoyed.

Why did you say for FFS? He'd been asleep while you were watching TV awake, you could have already looked....yes he was awake due to dog but doesn't mean he was awake enough to start looking for stuff if I'm woken up by something I wouldn't be happy at someone nagging me to get up and look for something that they could look for themselves.

Oh come on, someone gets woken up by dog, gets grumpy, doesn't want to think about your flipping charger but wants to go back to bed, and tells you to f off then apologises about it.

Put the dog away and find out where your charger is before bedtime lol

oh well done you. amazing.

I think you're massively overreacting. You were both tired and grumpy, he's apologised. I'd move on if I were you.

He had my charger?! I couldn’t find it anywhere, he’d taken it so I then couldn’t find it. I asked him to pass me my charger so I could charge it…he’d had it

He’d taken it up to bed to charge his phone, I asked where it was so I could charge mine whilst asleep with it next time my bed. It was a normal request

He was walking downstairs when I asked this, already up and awake, not half asleep lay in bed

alright so it seems you've made up your mind anyway so
1 keep ignoring him
2 talk it out preferably not on facebook
3 if you're actually scared to talk this out tell him to go and see a counsellor for his anger issues
4 divorce him
5 let it go

And you do not know where the charging points are in your own bedroom?

You can be wandering downstairs and half asleep at the same time 🙈

What do you actually want, it’s coming up to 24 hours, any moral high ground you had has been replaced by avoiding him all day. He’s apologised but not to satisfaction but you haven’t expressed that either and he’s probably angry now with you avoiding him.

Mimicking is horrible and telling someone to fuck off is horrible. Only you can really know the detail of this OP but I would be letting my DH know I think he's a wanker if I think he's a wanker.

She did let him know she wasn't happy with the way he spoke to her ( by Facebook, which isn't a very mature way to solve problems OP) and he apologised. She won't let it go and has been giving him the silent treatment.

Now, despite everyone telling her that she's in the wrong to continue with this, she won't accept it.

@Chipsandeggagain , silent treatment = abusive behaviour

You've decided you are entirely faultless and that he is to blame. He has apologised and you are still giving him the silent treatment. How would you like this resolved?

He was walking downstairs, pissed off he'd been woken up, probably going to sleep on the sofa, and you still wouldn't leave him alone and had enough charge to be a dick via Facebook

Oh it’s yet another one of these

aibu
yes
no I’m not (with stomping feet)

Agreed. OP's responses have been stroppy and defensive. Like speaking to my 6yo.

@Aprilx 🙈Yes, that’s why I asked him where it was as it wasn’t in there

Really, you need to accept his apology and move on. I cannot bear sulking, and a day of it, when presumably you were both home with your child, is ridiculous. I'd have gone out for the day with the DC if I was your H.

I’m really surprised by some of the answers…thank you all.

You still giving him the silent treatment?

@ClaretBarret Starting this by saying, although I agree with the general consensus here that this argument is petty and has gone on longer than necessary, I do have to come to OP’s defence r.e the dog. She didn’t say she “took ages” to quiet the dog, and if you have a dog freaked out by fireworks it can take time to calm them, they’re not just going to be quiet immediately and her husband probably wasn’t helping to calm the dog by yelling from upstairs.

@CorrodedCoffin Exactly, it’s very difficult to actually get her to stop barking as she’s scared & anxious.
I’ve barely seen him today as he was in and out of the house, no silent treatment just don’t want to be around him and feel
down and negative