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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He mimicked me, then told me to F off

127 replies

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 17:05

Last night Dh was asleep in bed with Dd, 4. He did her bedtime then fell asleep. I was downstairs watching tv and our dog started barking like crazy, she’d heard some firework sounds outside and wouldn’t start barking. This was around midnight and I was trying to get her to stop, Dh was shouting down the stairs that the dog would wake Dd up (more likely to be woken by him shouting in the same room as him!)
She stopped and I came up to bed, he was storming around, pissed off to have been woken up and heading to go downstairs. I asked him where he’d put my charger (he’d borrowed it and mine was out of battery) he got alI saying he didn’t know and probably the wire part was downstairs, really moody with me and speaking to me like crap. I started to be like ‘Okay ffs’ 🤷🏻‍♀️I’m am exasperated and confused way as if no need to be so angry..it’s hard to explain my reaction. He then stormed downstairs mimicking me and shouted ‘F off, (my name)!’

What would be your resection to this?

I sent him a Fb message (couldn’t be bothered to go downstairs as too tired)
asking why the hell he’d spoken to me like that etc. He said he was shocked at being woken by the dog and sorry he spoke in a moody way but I was also asking for his charger in a moody way (I wasn’t)
I told him it was nothing like that at all.
I’ve avoided him today.

What would you do in this situation? Do your dh’s/dp’s speak to you/act like this?

OP posts:
PorcupinePrickles · 28/12/2022 19:04

Sounds like a bit of a nothing argument in which neither of you behaved the best. Unless he’s regularly speaking to you in a disrespectful fashion I’d let it go, do you really want to fall out over it?

Bigdamnheroes · 28/12/2022 19:05

I'd do as he said. Fuck off. But then I'd not have married a man who spoke to me like that in the first place.

Boulshired · 28/12/2022 19:08

I’d rather be told to Eff off in a petty argument than ignored all day. It’s the latter I can’t cope with.

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 19:08

I did nothing wrong in this instance

OP posts:
Ineedtosleep79 · 28/12/2022 19:08

You really want my reaction? Ok here goes..!

I would throw a dictionary or other hard back book at him, get my daughter and leave!

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 19:08

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 19:08

I did nothing wrong in this instance

You did everything wrong, why post on here if you refuse to accept the vote?

FloydPepper · 28/12/2022 19:09

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 19:08

I did nothing wrong in this instance

Really?
you sound stubborn. It explains the abusive silent treatment.

Aprilx · 28/12/2022 19:10

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 19:08

I did nothing wrong in this instance

OMG. I can’t believe you think that. Not only did you start the argument, you have sulked all day. I am starting to feel very sorry for your husband if this is typical of your behaviour.

ClaireVictorias · 28/12/2022 19:11

He was woken up. Not necessarily your fault but still hardly surprising he was pissed off. I wouldn’t ask a half asleep already pissed off person where my charger was. Just look for it! You’re being dramatic

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 19:12

@ClaireVictorias He was the one who took my charger!

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 28/12/2022 19:14

Get over it op. Stop dragging it on.

Its goin to be a lonnnnnng slog of a life if you're going to avoid each other over a barking dog, a few words and a charger.

Ineedtosleep79 · 28/12/2022 19:14

Aprilx · 28/12/2022 19:10

OMG. I can’t believe you think that. Not only did you start the argument, you have sulked all day. I am starting to feel very sorry for your husband if this is typical of your behaviour.

Um...she did nothing wrong? Did she tell the dog to start barking? No ☺️ Come on people let's get a grip people please.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 28/12/2022 19:14

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 19:08

I did nothing wrong in this instance

Okay - it wasn't your fault the dog barked, but you say yourself you were aggressive with him and swearing when he wouldn't get up and help you look for your charger in the middle of the night, and now you're carrying the whole thing over into today, despite the fact that he's apologised and said he shouldn't have been so grumpy.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 28/12/2022 19:15

Ineedtosleep79 · 28/12/2022 19:14

Um...she did nothing wrong? Did she tell the dog to start barking? No ☺️ Come on people let's get a grip people please.

It's not her fault the dog barked, but she says herself she was sweary and stroppy afterwards because he wouldn't help her find her charger - and even though he's apologised, she's still in a strop nearly 24 hours later.

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 19:15

Ineedtosleep79 · 28/12/2022 19:14

Um...she did nothing wrong? Did she tell the dog to start barking? No ☺️ Come on people let's get a grip people please.

Swearing, getting angry, the silent treatment, refusing to apologise.

All ‘wrong’

the silent treatment especially so, and considered abusive when men do it on here

jannier · 28/12/2022 19:17

What outcome are you hoping for him to leave? Some people have real worries

Loics · 28/12/2022 19:19

Ineedtosleep79 · 28/12/2022 19:14

Um...she did nothing wrong? Did she tell the dog to start barking? No ☺️ Come on people let's get a grip people please.

She did a lot wrong, or are you reading a different OP...?

jannier · 28/12/2022 19:19

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 28/12/2022 19:15

It's not her fault the dog barked, but she says herself she was sweary and stroppy afterwards because he wouldn't help her find her charger - and even though he's apologised, she's still in a strop nearly 24 hours later.

Yes sounds really nice....he's been asleep while she's sat on her butt now all of a sudden he's supposed to look for her charger because you really do want to do that when you've been woken up and she's arsed because he's not doing it think I'd have told her to go walk too.

PorcupinePrickles · 28/12/2022 19:20

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 19:08

I did nothing wrong in this instance

Whether you think you did anything wrong or not, what would you like the outcome of this to be?
And whether he thinks he’s done wrong or not he’s already apologised, what else would you like to happen. I’m genuinely asking not trying to be a knob

C1N1C · 28/12/2022 19:21

Read the above...

It's something like 20:15:2 for you're in the wrong:neutral:he's in the wrong.

It's a petty argument brought on by tiredness and you're coming on MN looking for man-haters to reinforce your negativity.

Ineedtosleep79 · 28/12/2022 19:25

@Loics cos she said "ffs"? oh no 😧
Or cos she asked him where her phone charger was when he was well awake at that point?

ARE YOU HAVING AN ABSOLUTE LAUGH

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 19:26

@whataboutsecondbreakfast I never said I was aggressive and swearing?! He was I was looking at him like ‘Wtf’ 🤷🏻‍♀️I was calm

OP posts:
TabithaTittlemouse · 28/12/2022 19:27

I’m really grumpy if I’ve been woken up but manage not to tell anyone to fuck off.

Talk to him like a grown up about why you are so upset.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 28/12/2022 19:28

I mean, sometimes the way you mean things isn't how they come out. Happens to everyone so you can't say it has or never does happen to you.

Perhaps you were being arsey, perhaps he was just grumpy, perhaps he is an abusive arsehole, perhaps she is.

Two sides to every story and the truth as they say

AreOttersJustWetCats · 28/12/2022 19:29

I sent him a Fb message (couldn’t be bothered to go downstairs as too tired) asking why the hell he’d spoken to me like that etc.

Serious questions like this should never be sent by message. A proper conversation was needed, but you "couldn't be bothered".

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