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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He mimicked me, then told me to F off

127 replies

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 17:05

Last night Dh was asleep in bed with Dd, 4. He did her bedtime then fell asleep. I was downstairs watching tv and our dog started barking like crazy, she’d heard some firework sounds outside and wouldn’t start barking. This was around midnight and I was trying to get her to stop, Dh was shouting down the stairs that the dog would wake Dd up (more likely to be woken by him shouting in the same room as him!)
She stopped and I came up to bed, he was storming around, pissed off to have been woken up and heading to go downstairs. I asked him where he’d put my charger (he’d borrowed it and mine was out of battery) he got alI saying he didn’t know and probably the wire part was downstairs, really moody with me and speaking to me like crap. I started to be like ‘Okay ffs’ 🤷🏻‍♀️I’m am exasperated and confused way as if no need to be so angry..it’s hard to explain my reaction. He then stormed downstairs mimicking me and shouted ‘F off, (my name)!’

What would be your resection to this?

I sent him a Fb message (couldn’t be bothered to go downstairs as too tired)
asking why the hell he’d spoken to me like that etc. He said he was shocked at being woken by the dog and sorry he spoke in a moody way but I was also asking for his charger in a moody way (I wasn’t)
I told him it was nothing like that at all.
I’ve avoided him today.

What would you do in this situation? Do your dh’s/dp’s speak to you/act like this?

OP posts:
Proudofitbabe · 28/12/2022 17:45

Can't believe how it's dragging on. Unless this is happening all the time it's not one to dwell on. I think in relationships people can mimic / be shirty now and then. He's apologized and explained, surely that's the end of it?

anythinginapinch · 28/12/2022 17:55

Remember when you felt you thought everything about him was perfect?!

CheesesandWines · 28/12/2022 17:55

Have you apologised to him yet ? You swore at him first and your behaviour seems really OTT.

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 17:58

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 17:10

The mimicking of me was really nasty

Grow up

you woke him up, swore first and it was a tired argument in the middle of the night

Anonymous48 · 28/12/2022 17:59

What would I do in this situation? I wouldn't be in this situation because my husband and I treat each other with more respect than the two of you do. You sound just as bad as him, so I would let it go and move on.

girlmom21 · 28/12/2022 18:04

It sounds like you were the instigator here. He then apologised anyway and you have carried the nonsense on.

YouWouldNotBelieveIt · 28/12/2022 18:06

You sent him a FB message when you live in the same house Grin. That's insane Grin. He was tired, you were both a bit irritable. Move on.

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 18:08

@ClaretBarret I didn’t wake him up

OP posts:
windandtherain · 28/12/2022 18:11

Honestly I’d just put it down to being tired and move past it

DuplicateUserName · 28/12/2022 18:11

He apologised and you're sulking.

Stop acting like a child and put it behind you.

EllesB · 28/12/2022 18:16

Well you’re definitely unreasonable for not quieting the dog quickly when two people were sleeping in the household. Asking for the charger in the middle of the night also seems unnecessary and annoying.

Sounds like an apologize and move on situation to me.

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 18:17

Chipsandeggagain · 28/12/2022 18:08

@ClaretBarret I didn’t wake him up

You took ages to quiet the dog and then started asking about a pissing charger in the middle of the night

You are 100% in the wrong here and are sulking?

Crackof · 28/12/2022 18:18

You could both do with some conflict resolution skills maybe. Relationships can be hard. A very great deal of respect, tolerance and forgiveness are needed all round. And humour.
Can you go and have a hug and make it up and talk about things a bit? Maybe a course or a book or some sessions with a couples therapist or just something ....
You fell in love with each other. You're still those people I guess?? Just tireder.

dworky · 28/12/2022 18:20

Mimicking is not on! It's childish & abusive.
I could not respect anyone who did this.

ClaretBarret · 28/12/2022 18:21

dworky · 28/12/2022 18:20

Mimicking is not on! It's childish & abusive.
I could not respect anyone who did this.

Abusive?

As is the silent treatment which the OP is indulging in.

GreenWheat · 28/12/2022 18:27

Such unnecessary drama. You were both a bit OTT, most likely because you were tired. Buggering about with a phone charger in the middle of the night is really annoying.

Yulestorm · 28/12/2022 18:31

Unnecessary drama. Being woken up like that is a bit of a shock if you’re really tired. Stop sulking. He apologised.

catandcoffee · 28/12/2022 18:34

As this argument started over a phone charger......hide your charger and never let him borrow it.

Butchyrestingface · 28/12/2022 18:35

I’ve avoided him today.

God bless us, everyone.

Another vote for over-reaction on your part.

RandomPerson42 · 28/12/2022 18:39

If he was tired and had just been woken up - he probably couldn’t be bothered answering your inane questioning about a charger - who wants to be quizzed when they’re half asleep?

Riapia · 28/12/2022 18:47

OP You are the only one that can judge wether his apology was sincere.
You have every right to take the dog and leave him and his DD.
They will have all the peace and quiet to slumber in peace.

Serve them right.

toocold54 · 28/12/2022 18:52

He was very rude but he apologised, so it’s done.

There is no point in keep stressing about it or bringing it up, especially as it sounds like a one off.

Notimeforaname · 28/12/2022 18:57

It was easily argument. It's over. If this is not something he usually does, leave it alone. Its nothing.

People get annoyed. Especially when woken up/startled by a loud sound. It doesn't need to be a huge deal

Notimeforaname · 28/12/2022 18:58

It was a silly argument *

blankittyblank · 28/12/2022 19:01

You say you didn't say it angrily, but how do you know? My partner will sometimes sound really arsey and angry, but he swears he was calm. Even the kids agree with me but he doesn't see it. So you may well have sounded pissier than you think.

You were both tired and grumpy - You need to move on and also apologise.