Aibu to not want the cat sleeping in our bed at night?

[Jasmino1o]

We’ve had a cat since 3 years now, when we used to live in our old house we would close him in the kitchen at night time where he had a climbing frame thing with a bed, and he had another bed. For some reason, since we moved house, DH wanted him to have ‘free roam’ at night time so he sleeps in bed with us and this irritates me and I’ve finally had enough. The reasons being he’s just up and down at night time so wakes me up because he’ll just walk over me or jump back on the bed over me. If he’s awake early in the morning he will try and wake us up for attention, and this tends to happen at 4.30am, every morning and I’ve had enough of the early wake up calls because I struggle to get back to sleep. He’s also a greedy cat so at 7am or earlier at times, he’ll be meowing for food and if we don’t listen to his demands he’ll go and wake up DD because he knows once she’s up, everyone is up!

Only trouble is my DH is reluctant and think it’s mean to close him in the kitchen at night. Our lounge is now open plan so we can’t let him have free roam of the whole of downstairs so it has to be the kitchen or everywhere else.

We have a baby on the way too and I don’t think it’s good to have a demanding cat in the bedroom with us when we’ll have a newborn waking in the night and the cat will just cause havoc and want attention/food!

It’s not unreasonable for me to want the cat away from the bedroom at night is it?

This is quite a ridiculous thing to say. Millions of people have cats and babies. They should not be left unsupervised together or let in the same room at night, but “not having them in the house” is a bit of a stretch. People like you scaremongering are the reason cats and dogs end up dumped in rescues when babies come along.

Also research says that cats ARE selfish and unfeeling- look it up!

Whilst I think you should keep your cat in your kitchen, OP, I did raise an eyebrow at this. We had cats since we were kids and they have been very loving and affectionate.

But cats know when they’re not wanted, they’re not stupid. You can’t expect affection if you give none.

@Mariposa26 bit harsh! I don't think the comment is ridiculous.

I would wake your DH up every time the cat woke you. I bet he soon changes his mind!

I adopted a cat in lock down ,first pet and people have said I'm harsh for keeping him downstairs on a night but works for me.
I couldn't cope with him on me while I'm sleeping...have tried it , not for me,plus got a younger child who gets stressed if cat on her bed. My cat gets plenty of love affection during the day n on night but once we go to bed he sleeps with some stuff with our scent wanna say, on .

I honestly can't even deal with people who put their pets outside for the night. As a pet owner, it's your responsibility to provide a safe home for that pet at all times, not just when it's convenient for you. Obviously cats are well equipped but in the extreme cold, rain or winds... they should have access to their home as it's their "safe place". I have two cats and one got into a fight with a fox last week (his fault, he's an idiot) but he was able to run back through the cat flap to safety and stayed in the rest of the night.

Both my boys sleep on the bed and me and my DP wouldn't have it any other way (even though in the morning we've usually been pushed to the edge of the bed with both cats stretched out in the middle) but I appreciate this isn't everyone's cup of tea - closing the cat off in the kitchen is perfectly reasonable.

@poefaced it’s just something I heard on a documentary before, I wasn’t necessarily talking about my cat, not the unfeeling part anyway. I did mention he was selfish! Some cats are. I know some are loving, I’ve grown up with loving cats, I’ve also grown up with cats who were very temperamental and wild!

As I’ve previously mentioned, our cat has a lot of affection during the day (I work nights, DH works from home mostly), and he never leaves the house these days so he gets plenty of attention. When I sleep during the day after a night shift I allow him to sleep in the bedroom with me because he is used to sleeping by our window during the day. However due to lack of sleep and a baby on the way his new night time routine can be the kitchen on his climbing tree or his bed where he will also have fresh food and water and his litter box so no need to disturb anyone’s sleep!

We normally leave a window open for him rather than having a cat flap, however he doesn’t go outside these days unless we’re out with him so it’s pretty pointless but he has the option.