Hi, probably wrong place to post but desperate for advice. I’m really worried about DS (3 next month) and would appreciate it if anyone could offer advice as to whether it sounds as though I need to be looking into an ASD referral for him please.
speech - he knows what everything around him is (if I ask him he will say “it’s a helicopter mum” for example) or if I ask him to point to the door etc he will. Most of his speech is repetitive phrases however, he will say the same things over and over again and when asked a question will answer in the same way each time “do you want a banana?” “I want a banana mum, I want a banana” no variation on this, never “yes please” or “yum a banana” etc
he knows his name, but I could say his name 100 times and he won’t respond.
if I ask him questions he often replies using the words I’ve used “let’s put your coat on” he will say “put coat on” sometimes says “ok mum” in response. eye contact is variable - sometimes he looks at me when interacting, or to see my reaction to something, whereas sometimes I feel like I’m desperately trying to get him to look at me.
socially - has a 6yr old sister who he loves and likes to play with, if we are at the playground etc with her and her friends he likes to join in chase games etc. has no fear of climbing things etc, not at nursery yet but take him to toddler classes where he varies between being very sweet with other children (doesn’t make a fuss if someone takes his ball etc) and if someone’s crying will comment to me “someone’s crying”, recognises emotions such as “daddy’s angry!” etc, not bothered by loud noises, to being totally uninterested and just doing his own thing running around, doesn’t talk to any of the kids there although to be fair I don’t see them all chatting away to each other either. With adults it’s totally different - he is massively overfamiliar with adult men he doesn’t know and will run up to them saying hello daddy (??? Even if they look nothing like his dad) and trying to cuddle them/tap them on the leg/rugby tackle them, doesn’t do this to women at all and actually got really upset when a female friend of mine he doesn’t know well picked him up recently to help him onto a bouncy castle.
Intelligent - can count past 100, knows the alphabet and colours/shapes, knows a few songs which he sings regularly.
doesn’t seem to have the fixation with spinning things I’ve read is common but does do things obsessively and repeatedly- lining up toys, puzzles, plays with things the same way every time. On TV will only want to watch the same programmes and has a routine of asking for one, waiting for me to put it on them asking for the next one, I can guarantee he will do this every time we we turn the TV on.
trying to encourage pretend play as this isn’t something he does without encouragement. So if I ask him “let’s put dolly to bed” he will do it and say “dolly’s in bed!” But he wouldn’t pretend to feed his toys by himself if you see what I mean.
sleep is a nightmare - almost 3 and never once slept through the night, wakes regularly, always up very early every single day (average is 4.30am), obsessive about being breastfed and any attempts to wean him are met with absolute fury.
my daughter unbelievably never tantrummed, so when DS has meltdowns I don’t know if it’s typical toddler unreasonable behaviour or if something else is going on, particularly as the meltdowns occur if you try to interrupt something he is doing or if something is unexpected- he loves to visit every aisle in order in the supermarket and if I try to skip an aisle he will literally be kicking and screaming because we have missed a number.
Does this sound like he is autistic? Any advice welcome, Thankyou xx