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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wont stop asking!

852 replies

Castleontheisland · 28/12/2022 05:05

Name changed for this as my other threads are quite outing. Sorry its long!

Me and partner are away for a few days over Christmas, our next door neighbour has a spare key for our house for emergencies (we have their spare house key as well). We are not close friends just normal neighbours, They have had family visiting over Christmas/new year. On boxing day they text me and asked if some of their family could sleep in our home as more of the family had arrive unexpectedly! We said no because beds need changing and heating not on etc.(also I dont want strangers in my home)Well since then we have had text after text asking over and over again! I have also repeatedly tried to ring them but they are not picking up! The last one was very late last night (I was already in bed asleep)asking again and saying the family who they want to stay's car has broken down! I feel like packing up here and going home now as so worried they will just use my house anyway! I dont have any friends or family nearby who can check on my home. My partner has said they surely wont just use our house but I'm not sure they wont. 😥

OP posts:
IVFlife · 29/12/2022 22:56

What cfers

AdobeWanKenobi · 29/12/2022 23:12

CrazyLadie · 29/12/2022 21:04

Phone the cops and ask them to go and check your house, a friend said she saw a light on and no one has permission to be in your house. If there is anyone there please change them with trespassing, simples 😆

Even simpler. Don’t waste ‘the cops’ time and send a relative to check on the home and retrieve the key.
So ‘simples’ she did that yesterday…

ZiriForEver · 29/12/2022 23:17

MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 29/12/2022 22:22

I’ve just been reminded of my Father-in-law’s impromptu visits when he had a key to our house. I’ve posted about it on here before.

We gave him a key for emergencies and also to take the dog up the farm with him if we were out for the day. He used to love taking our dog out and our dog adored him. One half term we were out with the kids all day. He’d been round to pick up the dog, which was fine, but what he later told us was that he’d had a friend with him and they’d stopped for a cup of tea. The house was a bomb site, washing up, clothes everywhere, kids toys not picked up, nothing hoovered or dusted all week. Mortified.

Another time, late one evening, about half past ten, just getting ready to go up to bed when we heard the key in the lock. In strolls Father-in-law. Just thought he’d stop by for a cup of tea, late night out on the farm. Could have been awkward.

I didn’t like to ask for the key back, was really handy having someone in for the dog.

Sounds like a bit different case - you actually expect him to use the key to get in to pick up the dog, which somehow comes with small conveniences like using a loo or having a glass of water. And if he's taking the dog out with a friend, letting the friend to do the same is just a direct extension. No good being mortified about that.
Yes, he shouldn't use it outside of agreed visits (visiting you or visiting the dog).

In this case the neighbours received the key for emergency, and emergency hasn't happened.

CrazyLadie · 29/12/2022 23:33

AdobeWanKenobi · 29/12/2022 23:12

Even simpler. Don’t waste ‘the cops’ time and send a relative to check on the home and retrieve the key.
So ‘simples’ she did that yesterday…

Show quote history

She said she didn't have any family or friends near by, asking a cop from the area she lives in to drive by and see if her house is safe is not wasting their time, it's part of their job

AdobeWanKenobi · 29/12/2022 23:57

CrazyLadie · 29/12/2022 23:33

She said she didn't have any family or friends near by, asking a cop from the area she lives in to drive by and see if her house is safe is not wasting their time, it's part of their job

Show quote history

She sorted the problem yesterday.

And I don’t know where you’re from (maybe the Bronx with your ‘cops’) but round these parts the police issue a crime number over the phone for a burglary and rarely come out, so I think the likelihood of them turning up to have a look if someone who has a key has used it is probably a stretch.

Also, trespass is civil not criminal so the Police wouldn’t be charging anyone.

Lunde · 29/12/2022 23:57

CrazyLadie · 29/12/2022 23:33

She said she didn't have any family or friends near by, asking a cop from the area she lives in to drive by and see if her house is safe is not wasting their time, it's part of their job

Show quote history

If you click on the "see all" button on the bottom of OP's posts you can see all of the updates. You will see that some of OP's relatives made a 3 hour round trip to retrieve her key and that OP is returning home early

FairyMarie · 29/12/2022 23:59

Castleontheisland · 29/12/2022 15:23

Hello all..you learn something new everyday here on mumsnet (thank you everyone who has replied to the thread.) We are on bt Internet and have never thought the password on the back of the hub could be changed. That is getting changed as soon as we get back as is the key barrels in front and back door locks ! For the people saying I might not have closed doors/turned off plugs in electric sockets..I double checked everything and know in my own mind I definitely had. This makes me feel quite sick! We are going home first thing tomorrow morning (one day early) as with the coughing/sickness bug we both have got we will feel better in our own house. And I really need to check everything is ok.

Im glad they were not brazenly in your house. I do hope you will give us an update tomorrow when you get home as to whether you think they've been in there or not 😅

Womencanlift · 30/12/2022 00:00

Laughing at all these “call the police” comments. I mean seriously have these posters not watched the news over the last few years?

You can barely get a welfare check for a person never mind one for a house 🙄

LolaMoon · 30/12/2022 06:24

Womencanlift · 30/12/2022 00:00

Laughing at all these “call the police” comments. I mean seriously have these posters not watched the news over the last few years?

You can barely get a welfare check for a person never mind one for a house 🙄

I agree. Also with no proof or evidence you’re going to look like a right twat. Plus, it willl create a horrible atmosphere which could last years, not to mention you’d legally have to declare it when you sell your house. Their are far more downside to this OTT reaction than benefits.

Ursuladevine · 30/12/2022 07:14

Womencanlift · 30/12/2022 00:00

Laughing at all these “call the police” comments. I mean seriously have these posters not watched the news over the last few years?

You can barely get a welfare check for a person never mind one for a house 🙄

oh and don’t forget that the house in question…. Well the owner would have to admit to the police that she gave her keys to her neighbours that she hardly knows.

It is so daft to recommend the police. But it’s the MN go-to.
Is it any wonder our public sector is creaking under demand when we have cries of “call the police” over this

Dibbydoos · 30/12/2022 08:33

It's a good idea to say you're coming back early and for a final time, NO.

Why don't people use hotels fgs?

Def CFs.

Hope when you get home all is fine x

Emotionalsupportviper · 30/12/2022 08:59

Millytante · 29/12/2022 10:03

Ah, another ex-pupil of Cheltenham Ladies’ College, I see! 😸

Show quote history

How did you guess?

(And totally not euphemisms . . . 😏)

Emotionalsupportviper · 30/12/2022 09:02

LolaMoon · 30/12/2022 06:24

I agree. Also with no proof or evidence you’re going to look like a right twat. Plus, it willl create a horrible atmosphere which could last years, not to mention you’d legally have to declare it when you sell your house. Their are far more downside to this OTT reaction than benefits.

Show quote history

There is already a horrible atmosphere - but I agree that the police would have no interest in a civil trespass, and at best would "have a word", but it would be a very low priority case and one that would only be attended if it was a quiet day at the station - not much chance of that these days when numbers are cut to the bone.

And you're right about a declaration re: house sale, too.

sue20 · 30/12/2022 09:48

TidyDancer · 28/12/2022 05:14

Omg what CFs! I'm getting Mexican house their vibes from this! It's cheeky to even ask let alone repeatedly!

What’s Mexican house?

sue20 · 30/12/2022 09:52

TidyDancer · 28/12/2022 05:15

Mexican house thief

Show quote history

What does this mean?

Ursuladevine · 30/12/2022 09:53

The police would no doubt “have a word” with the OP about handing out her house keys to people she hardly knows along with wasting people time

TidyDancer · 30/12/2022 09:56

@sue20 there's a thread in Classics called something like 'have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?' and a poster told a story about their cheeky fucker neighbour 'borrowing' their holiday home in Mexico without permission. Have a look at the thread for the full story as it's spectacular (I'm on the app so can't link to it)! And there's loads of other incredible stories on the thread too.

TidyDancer · 30/12/2022 09:56

Thanks @SoupDragon!

sue20 · 30/12/2022 10:05

Oh. Thanks

MavisMcMinty · 30/12/2022 10:59

Wow! What a story! I also liked this from that thread, short and succinct:

I turned round at my wedding to see a little bridesmaid. Mil thought I wouldn't mind even though I said no bridesmaids.

Stewball01 · 30/12/2022 13:14

I'd tell them to put your key through the letter box.
I'm quite sure they did the unthinkable and used your house like an hotel. Bloody fuckers.

rakingitover · 30/12/2022 13:28

Hope you're all feeling better and that you had a safe trip back.
Can you tell they've been in your house?
As long as your family haven't moved anything when they went round, you will be able to tell if anyone has been in, and certainly if they have stayed the night.

We all have ways of leaving our home, especially when we are going on holiday.

threatmatrix · 30/12/2022 13:56

Get the key bad k asap and cut all ties. Absolutely unbelievable

SoupDragon · 30/12/2022 15:02

I'd tell them to put your key through the letter box.

How are they meant to do that when they have already given it to the OP's mum?