To be worried for the woman living in the flat above me

[refuge123]

I live in a flat. About an hour ago, in the early hours of morning I could hear a man aggresively yelling at a woman in a foreign language, and the woman crying and screaming in response in terror, with banging. They have a baby, who rarely cries. I phoned 999 who attended, but because the tenants didnt answer the door, there was nothing they could do. Ive been told to phone back if it starts again and that ive done the right thing. They took my details and left.

@refuge123 hope they're ok, you done the right thing ringing 999.

You did the right thing. There's nothing more you can do now except ring again if it starts up again. You were very brave, not many people would have felt up to getting involved like that.

As others said- you’ve done the right thing and been brave. We need good neighbours like you.

I'm worried for the woman.
She may not have felt she could answer the door to police or she may have been getting prevented from it.
It's a shame the police dont have the power to open doors.

Concur with the others, well done OP. When others are potentially in trouble we have a moral obligation to do something. Hopefully if it starts up again the police can do more.

Absolutely call the police again if you're worried for the woman's safety.

What's worrying you about the baby hardly crying?

The police can absolutely gain access to a property if they believe someone is in danger/at risk - I've had my door replaced in the past because of them.

They'll possibly come back in the morning & try again. I know if we had a call like that there's no way it'd get written off as no reply to the door. We'd reattend & keep reattending until we spoke to the residents

The Police do have the power to open the door but not in the circumstances you've outlined. If there was no noise & no reply they've got no grounds to. You could be a neighbour or an ex with a grudge & making it up. If the Police arrived while they were shouting & got no reply they'd most certainly put the door in

Is there only me horrified that the police basically did nothing?
He could have had her in a choke hold or anything.. :-0

Be prepared to record any further exchanges if you can ...obviously without any risk to yourself, just through the walls if it is clear enough. It would be enlightening to know what kind of verbal abuse was being made. Terrible that the police in essence could do absolutely nothing especially since a little baby was involved.

What could they do if there was no sound from the flat? They can't go kicking doors in because someone said there was a disturbance. Their hands are pretty much tied unfortunately. Unless anything was happening when they arrived they only have one person's report which could be true, exaggerated or totally made up.

It's a very difficult situation which is probably why i expecr they'll be back later

Shouting and throwing things around? Sorry, but I'm with the "old biddy" , being middle class and " respectable" doesn't mean abuse doesn't happen.

Err, I'd call the police if i heard my neighbours shouting and throwing things around, regardless of thier class or the topic of the argument! Especially if they were the type of person to call me a biddy. If an argument is loud enough for others to hear then it is too loud.

@Swimmingistoocold
We are a middle class, respectable professional couple

Because of course domestic violence doesn't happen in middle class respectable families!

How outrageous that someone might accuse a middle class, professional couple of being involved in domestic abuse.

Don’t you think you’re wasting police time though? Every couple has raised voice arguments. It’s healthy. If the police came to every argument a couple had no other crime would be solved. They are not relationship counsellors. Having an argument is not a crime.

A woman crying and screaming in terror does not sound like a normal argument.

This

Bloody hell, shouting and throwing things because of a paint colour disagreement?

Jesus @Swimmingistoocold she said she could hear the woman crying and screaming in terror and banging. You think that's part of a healthy relationship?!

'Shouting, and throwing things around' doesn't sound like a normal argument either.
I too would have called the police in both situations. Outer appearance / social situation / ethnicity etc. is totally irrelevant.

The significance of a baby hardly crying is that neglected babies often don't cry as much.

But this is what the neighbour said happened!!! My whole point is that the police have to come to their own conclusion based on what they think happened! They cannot go in removing a woman from a dangerous situation based on the word of a neighbour!

that’s my point! They have a tricky job to do but must use their judgement. Even if they think she may be going abused, they cannot help her unless she wants help. They certainly cannot assume shat ‘he had her in a choke hold’ with no evidence whatsoever. That’s not how police work.

@Swimmingistoocold shouting and throwing things around is not normal and I too would have called the police if I heard that. That's domestic violence right there.

Every couple does not have raised voiced arguments. I've been with DH for almost 9 years and we have never shouted at each other. We never even argue. No place in my life for abuse like that.

It's not normal though. Dh and I have plenty of disagreements, and if one of us is very pissed off it might result in an 'oh fuck off' and leaving the room until we are calm enough to deal with the disagreement. But there's no shouting and screaming at each other and certainly no throwing things about, we aren't toddlers

Obviously I don't know everything that happens in my friends and families lives but I've never known this to be the norm in anyone I knows lives