Am posting for some external perspective.
DH and I come from very different families in terms of attitudes to money, my family are very open about money, I’ve always known what was in my parents wills, my grandparents wills, when my grandfather came into some money we had a family get together to discuss who was getting what in terms of my cousins and I etc.
DHs family are much more old fashioned and finances are akin to a state secret.
Now here is where the AIBU comes into play, DHs grandparents are extremely wealthy, they don’t ‘act’ it, there are small tells ( e.g.his grandfather if he pays for lunch opens his wallet and there is often £5k of cash in there!) but they don’t live in a mansion or eat caviar, although they definitely could afford to if they wanted. If you knew them you’d think upper middle class maybe, but not wealthy.
We get snippets of information as DHs grandfather talks to him about investments from time to time, they have ‘several’ BVIs, to make offshore accounts worthwhile you need millions in there, let alone to justify multiple of them. His work pension requires a team of accountants to manage it efficiently and they were approached a few months ago by one of their financial advisers to buy 25 luxury apartments in London, DH manages London properties so his grandfather asked him about it (only way we know this bit)
So although no one in the family knows how much there is, we know there is a lot (DH was also asked to look over the paperwork when his grandfather sold his last company and it sold for £15 million in 2007, so that’s the ‘minimum’ that is there, but he had 22 other companies throughout his lifetime and sold them all for nice amounts apparently over the course of the 90’s)
AIBU to think it’s only normal to wonder, if not fantasise about this when you know there is a potentially life changing amount of money out there that could be left to grand children (and by extension you)
Obviously the obligatory we know it’s their money, we don’t have a right to any of it and they might leave it all to a cat sanctuary, but I don’t think I ABU to wonder about it, like when people dream about winning the lottery, if it was a couple of hundred grand I’d not think about it, but I can’t imagine many people, knowing there could be tens of millions+ left to their husband/wife that wouldn’t think about it from time to time.
DH thinks it’s morbid to think about it at all and doesn’t care one way or another, as although they are well off they are somewhat tight with their cash and seem to hoard it over using it to support their family, so doesn’t pay it much attention.
YABU - I’d not pay any attention to the fact my family could be in for a windfall
YANBU - of course I’d have the odd dream about what fancy car I’d buy with all that money