To think that many people would wonder/fantasise about this potential inheritance?

[Tiltedandwilted]

Am posting for some external perspective.

DH and I come from very different families in terms of attitudes to money, my family are very open about money, I’ve always known what was in my parents wills, my grandparents wills, when my grandfather came into some money we had a family get together to discuss who was getting what in terms of my cousins and I etc.

DHs family are much more old fashioned and finances are akin to a state secret.

Now here is where the AIBU comes into play, DHs grandparents are extremely wealthy, they don’t ‘act’ it, there are small tells ( e.g.his grandfather if he pays for lunch opens his wallet and there is often £5k of cash in there!) but they don’t live in a mansion or eat caviar, although they definitely could afford to if they wanted. If you knew them you’d think upper middle class maybe, but not wealthy.

We get snippets of information as DHs grandfather talks to him about investments from time to time, they have ‘several’ BVIs, to make offshore accounts worthwhile you need millions in there, let alone to justify multiple of them. His work pension requires a team of accountants to manage it efficiently and they were approached a few months ago by one of their financial advisers to buy 25 luxury apartments in London, DH manages London properties so his grandfather asked him about it (only way we know this bit)

So although no one in the family knows how much there is, we know there is a lot (DH was also asked to look over the paperwork when his grandfather sold his last company and it sold for £15 million in 2007, so that’s the ‘minimum’ that is there, but he had 22 other companies throughout his lifetime and sold them all for nice amounts apparently over the course of the 90’s)

AIBU to think it’s only normal to wonder, if not fantasise about this when you know there is a potentially life changing amount of money out there that could be left to grand children (and by extension you)

Obviously the obligatory we know it’s their money, we don’t have a right to any of it and they might leave it all to a cat sanctuary, but I don’t think I ABU to wonder about it, like when people dream about winning the lottery, if it was a couple of hundred grand I’d not think about it, but I can’t imagine many people, knowing there could be tens of millions+ left to their husband/wife that wouldn’t think about it from time to time.

DH thinks it’s morbid to think about it at all and doesn’t care one way or another, as although they are well off they are somewhat tight with their cash and seem to hoard it over using it to support their family, so doesn’t pay it much attention.

YABU - I’d not pay any attention to the fact my family could be in for a windfall

YANBU - of course I’d have the odd dream about what fancy car I’d buy with all that money

Before her death Mil had a very large amount of money.
Was in a care home for the last few years of her life it soon went down.
We were lucky to inherit a few thousand.

My DM is in a care home and I have access to her bank and ditto the money is falling fast. If we (brothers and I) receive anything it will be nice.

As you don't know grandfather's will don't count on anything it could all be left
to the donkey sanctuary.

Aha no married, one of those 60+ year marriages and they still hold hands! Definitely no openings I see coming soon, especially as he is in worse health than his wife!

Tiltedandwitted I can honestly say it wouldn't occur to me to think about how much a loved one had in their wallet even if asked to find a card.

I have come to that conclusion since you can’t say how much money they have, because you’re slagging them off for not helping their family financially and because you’re salivating over what you’ll do with their imagined cash once they die.

How big is his wallet? You’ve still never said.

You’d not notice a very large amount of cash? I’ve never seen anyone with more than a couple of hundred in their wallet so this is very noticeable for me, but if you’re used to it maybe you’d not pay attention.

a few £10 notes of course not, but the reason I and others notice is due to how obvious it is there is a lot of money in there, he has been told before not to carry as much cash, as it’s very clear.

I often think that about my dad. He is extremely comfortable and I know he will leave me something but as a current struggling single mum I’d appreciate the help now rather than in 15-20 yrs time. Of course I’m not obligated anything but he only got his money through his own parents leaving him everything (an only child). Everything is shrouded in mystery and I know that me and my siblings will be clueless about everything right up to the will reading when we would benefit more from knowing where everything is (documents, paperwork etc) whilst he is still alive.

My grandparents are wealthy. I've never even considered what we'd get when they die. I treasure every moment with them and can't think about them not being here. Genuinely. I'm not materialistic though and money isn't the most important thing to me.

I have no real family apart from my children. Never inherited anything . Yet I own an amount of property so okay I'm financial sense. I have an aunt who is VERY off. I do sometimes wonder if she'll leave me anything, a cool 1 m would be nice 🤣 but I think she'll to a dogs home.

I do understand where you're coming from. I'm an only child and my dad is terminally ill. We've discussed his finances (instigated by him), so i know how much money is there and I'm the sole beneficiary of his will. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about paying off my mortgage, doing some much needed home improvements and investing some for my child when they're older. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad and cherish every day I have with him, but this inheritance will really help me whenever it comes.

Distasteful. It's not even your own family, thus, none of your business. Can you be sure that you won't divorce in future? Maybe it's all tied up in trusts, or promised to the cats' home. Like DH's rich uncle did. Chickens/count/hatch.

My husband married into a wealthy family.

If I thought he was spending his Christmas break rubbing his metaphorical hands together and wondering how he’ll fare when lots are cast, I’d be packing his bags.

I know how much is often in my mums purse if we go out for lunch and she pays first or pays for us both. It doesn’t take two seconds to notice wads of cash in a wallet, since it’s quite unusual

You seem obsessed with money.

I have absolutely no idea how much my mum has in her purse.

As for a FIL, it's really none of my business.

Don't think about it. Like has been stated, he might leave it all to the cat shelter or have a secret family he leaves it all to.....

Very weird, do you think it’s financially viable to have several offshore bank accounts with £10 in them, when it costs hundreds of thousands a year to maintain them and cover the charges?

we don’t know exactly how much is in there, but considering they were approached recently to buy in cash 25 luxury apartments in London as a casual investment opportunity it’s weird to think that doesn’t mean there is a decent amount in the bank. That in addition to one of 22 companies selling for £15 million and his annual salary from one company way back in the 80’s was £850,000 (excluding bonuses) it’s weird you’ve come to that conclusion.

Also am hardly slagging them off, merely saying it’s a bit alien to me, to have so much money and not help your family at all. Not sure that’s an out there opinion to hold.

The wallet seems to be a standard mens leather wallet, again you clearly aren’t posting in good faith so why not save both of our time and move on to trolling someone else’s post.

A standard men’s wallet that regularly holds 100 £50 notes? Are you sure?

Maybe it is all left to a blind donkey in Turkey, hence I used the word fantasising, not planning, expecting or getting excited about.

Oh yes, I have spent my entire Christmas sat on a Dr evil swivel chair, with a cat I found off the streets rubbing my hands with glee whilst I plan the demise of his family.

You’re funny

You’d not notice a very large amount of cash?

my mum doesn't carry loads of cash, certainly not 5k. 1k wouldn't fit in her purse! I was filing some statements for her the other day, I look at them but don't look at them if that makes sense.

They probably have their money in off shore accounts where IH is 0%.

It doesn’t work like that. IHT is due on all global assets if you are U.K. tax registered

That’s exactly why I notice, as it’s an abnormally large amount of money in general, let alone just to carry with you when taking your grandson and family for a Costa!

It makes the wallet bulge, it doesn’t close properly (he also has an air tag in there so that doesn’t help with the closing issue either) so it’s definitely noticeable, other people seem taken back by it too (usually those serving)

we don’t know exactly how much is in there, but considering they were approached recently to buy in cash 25 luxury apartments in London as a casual investment opportunity it’s weird to think that doesn’t mean there is a decent amount in the bank.

his annual salary from one company way back in the 80’s was £850,000 (excluding bonuses) it’s weird you’ve come to that conclusion.

If they have that much cash floating around & their dc & gc aren't seeing any of it, the logical
conclusion is you are unlikely to see it upon their demise!

YANBU. I would absolutely fantasise about it. I’d conveniently not think about the fact that someone I care about would have to die in order for me to inherit it.

My husband’s job has a fairly hefty life insurance policy, I’d stand to get about £3m if he died. Sometimes I fantasise about what I’d do with a spare £3m. Then of course I jump to my senses and realise that I’d be devastated beyond belief if anything happened to him. I suppose it is just a (fairly morbid) extension of winning the lottery fantasy.

Incidentally, I also of did my own inheritance AIBU today; my husband had a maiden aunt who has an estate worth about £1m. According to MIL, she is currently trying to decide whether she leaves it 50/50 to my husband and his sibling, or directly to the grand nieces and nephews. We have one kid and they have three and if she does down that route, all 4 will get £250k each. In theory, she can do what she likes, in practice the former option is our preference! Inheritance always brings out the best in people!! 😁

An 850k salary in the 80s is equivalent to about 3m these days.

Not sure who would see it as an alternative, they don’t ‘like’ or ‘trust’ charities so I can’t imagine the old cat sanctuary move (although nothing in this world is guaranteed)

And unless there is a secret family out there i doubt they’d leave it to the government of the British Virgin Islands.

My prediction is they will leave it to their kids to save the drama of slicing it all up between children and grand children, and then we will see very little as FIL will most likely not update his will, he will die before DHs stepmother who will then get it all.

But I still have the odd dream about if it’s different and I’m wrong.

Not sure who would see it as an alternative, they don’t ‘like’ or ‘trust’ charities so I can’t imagine the old cat sanctuary move (although nothing in this world is guaranteed)

I just can't imagine why you wouldn't share it now.