To find Matilda hard to watch?

[susiesuelou]

I know it's just a work of fiction for kids and that it all comes good in the end for Matilda, but I've been watching it this morning whilst toddler DD naps and it's struck me just how horrible it is (the start especially). Particularly the part where she begs to be allowed books to read and the Dad holds her head and forces her to watch TV instead. Not being acknowledged by her mum when she comes in from school and wants to tell her about her day. 🥹

And don't get me started on the abusive practices of Miss Trunchbull! Particularly force feeding chocolate cake to that boy! I actually skipped through that part.

I've watched it before but never really watched it, if that makes sense. And it's just left an uncomfortable feeling.

AIBU? Am I too sensitive? I know the answer is probably yes, as it's just a film after all. But has anyone else had similar discomfort watching it?

To be fair to OP she just wanted a discussion. She also took opposing view points into consideration and even agreed with some of them.

By attacking and name calling her , you're just shutting down discussion and making her defensive and possibly less willing to listen. At least you jumped in after she had already considered other view points.

@beastlyslumber actually the tiger who came to tea is about unleashing female sexuality and hedonism which was laying dormant in the domestic based humdrum lives of British housewives FYI.

I haven't watched Matilda as I can't stand the child that acts in it (assuming there's only 1 version??). Some kids are a delight to watch in action. She isn't. Well to me. And that trumps what's actually in the movie itself.

Then again - I was shocked the first time I saw a Punch and Judy show (was mid 20s at the time). The voices are nasty and it's all domestic violence. So let's show it to the kiddies!!! Astounding!!!

I loved the stage show because, whilst the girl playing Matilda was spunky, you could also tell that she was really damaged by her parents. The fact that Miss Honey was also abused by Trunchbull and grows up to be so fearful of everything hit me much harder than in the book. Matilda could grow up to be Miss Honey if she was a less feisty character.

I loved the book as a child (still do), but as an adult I'm also struck by the similarities between Matilda and Carrie (the horror film). Both abused by their parents, with telekinetic abilities, and a teacher who tries to help them. It's Carrie for children!

Have you?

On the contrary, he rather hated adults. His books are all supposed to mock the punishments children face.

You're right. Where the Wild Things Are is about stranger danger, and coming under the influence of a bad crowd.

I like musicals but I found it excessive and some weren't particularly catchy tunes. Where they could've replied in words, they would sing!🥱

Where is "can't tolerate" coming from? You do know there's a middle ground between having a positive response to something, and being unable to cope, distraught, and crying on the floor? Somewhere in that middle ground is my response of finding it uncomfortable viewing. My life is still going on, I'm still functioning and breathing and coping. Not sure why that needs to be explained, but there you go.

@JustAnotherManicNameChange

Thank you!

The Lion the witch and the wardrobe, child gets kidnapped by old woman using sweets as bait, locked up, tortured and stabbed.

My parents (not English, age 70+) find Matilda horrible. They walked out of the Stage show version. They have no idea how this stuff became popular child fare. They never read C&tCF or they wouldn't handle that well either. RD's books were dark.

Don’t forget Worzel Gummage - his sentence for throwing a potato at the Crownman was to be burned alive.

I don’t agree! I remember seeing this in primary school and finding it really uncomfortable watching even then. I really dislike that film.

This is a fascinating thread which is right up my street, lots of interesting points. Thank you everyone.

I write a blog looking at horror in kids fiction and childhood in horror films, and I hope some of you will enjoy it based on this discussion.
See a clip of Hitchcock (another very nasty man) talking about fear in childhood. 'You see it all starts with a baby. And the mother says 'BOO!' And the baby giggles.'
https://childishthingshorror.wordpress.com/about/

My short view: we need to explore the dark sides of life, to help us grow, learn and cope with the world and become a fully rounded adult. The world itself is full of dark as well as light, and fiction is a healthy and safe way for kids and adults to process it. Kids are not stupid and early on they know that there is darkness in the world, whether from their immediate experience or through observing the world beyond their own family. Kids fiction - in fact any fiction? - with zero darkness in it is a bit insubstantial and anodyne, isn't it?

Maurice Sendak:
“Children are tough, though we tend to think of them as fragile. They have to be tough. Childhood is not easy. We sentimentalize children, but they know what’s real and what’s not. They understand metaphor and symbol. If children are different from us, they are more spontaneous. Grown-up lives have become overlaid with dross.“

I want to do a future blog post about Roald Dahl and that whole thing of whether we can or should separate art from artist. I don't think he was a 'nice man', if I were his relative I could imagine arguments and possible estrangement. But the point is well made in this thread; people are complicated. Life is complicated. There was a lot of trauma in his generation and his life. And traumatised people don't always recover. And trauma isnt an excuse for doing harm. Maybe virulent anti-semitism was pretty common in his day, and it doesn't mean it was or is ok.
I think you can love a piece of art while still knowing sad painful unpleasant things about the person who created it. Its your own personal choice to read it or not.

This is my piece about Where the Wild things are and also In the night kitchen.
Maurice Sendak IMHO actually genuinely was a lovely man, I get quite choked up reading interviews with him.
Unlike RD - and see MS's quote about RD!
“The cruelty in his books is off-putting. Scary guy. I know he’s very popular but what’s nice about this guy? He’s dead, that’s what’s nice about him.”

MS's books are filled with the trauma of the Holocaust and growing up with traumatised parents. The wild things are his Jewish immigrant aunts and uncles.

And another one about why Jemima Puddle Duck reminds me of the Silence of the Lambs. JPD is a rehash of that Little Red riding hood fairy tale archetype.

This stuff is all there if you look.

Why are so many Mn posters so incredibly naive and assume everything in the world either is or should be nice and fluffy?

This.

And as for the comments "oh, it all goes over the children's heads anyway". Again, naive nonsense. They get it alright..... incredibly most 7 year olds seem more resilient to life's cruelties than some of their cosseted snowflake parents!

It's all about how it hits you isn't it? We all bring personal experiences,past ,trauma,education,work into it. The more we live, the more our "view" changes. That also applies to books ,movies ,tv series that we watch as teens/young adults and then revisit when older.

A lot of adults and children love Disney, despite the fact that they classic ones are fairly problematic. I raged at Encanto for example, while DD (and a lot of others)loved it and raved about it.It just hit me the wrong way.
Brave is one of my favourite kids movies ever. I also love Moana... similar theme, done right in my mind whereas in Encato the generational trauma was glossed over and the "apology" and making up part was very superficial.

I have no idea why OP reacted the way she did to Matilda. That doesn't make her a snowflake or unable to cope. Just that it resonated with her in a way she found uncomfortable. She's exploring those feelings and her own view through the thread , while also being open minded to opposing views. That's not only ok, it should be encouraged. That's how people grow,learn and expand their horizons. As long as they're willing to, unlike some of the PP's posting on here.

I know what you mean. It is a story about child abuse, but it’s also a story about resilience - Matilda finds strength within herself, she finds love and kindness outside her family and she finds joy and escapism in the books she reads. With her own strength and resilience and her powerful sense of right and wrong she also helps a lot of other people. My 4 year old loves the 90s film and the musical. I think it gives her the sense that she can do anything.

You've absolutely hit the nail on the head here! It's about our own experiences and how they shape our perceptions. For whatever reason, Matilda hit something (probably subconsciously) that feels deeply uncomfortable for me. Whereas others may perhaps react strongly to films that I wouldn't flinch at.

(Sigh) I forget how depressingly literal one has to be on MN, even discussing literature.

Let me rephrase, then: there have been strong opinions expressed on threads over the years about classicism, jingoism, antisemitism, homophobia and racism in a massive swathe of literature, etc.

My point is that it is easier to spot the problems hidden in current cultural trends if you don’t pretend that bad things never existed.

It’s just as important to see the naive romanticism in late 19th c literature that inspired thousands of teens and young adults to sacrifice themselves for war.

Currently I would suggest that we desensitise our children to horror, suffering and trauma from a very young age, and I have no doubt this too will play out in time.

My point is that I don’t advocate shying away from difficult topics but I’m not sure they all deserve an equal place on the nursery shelves.

and to further address the point: many books have fallen out of print or been reissued with corrections. Outright censorship is avoided precisely for the reasons it failed with LCL.

What you mean is, 'oops, I made up a pile of nonsense,' isn't it?

You said something, which I questioned, and now you are pretending it wasn't 'literal'. What you mean is, it wasn't even tangentially related to the truth.

I think though that Matilda's treatment is so extreme that it becomes acceptable again. A lot of Dahl is like that. Extreme to make a point, and also it then becomes fiction rather than scary. Even my dd2 who was very easily frightened by books never blinked reading Matilda.
It's a bit like the beginning of Harry Potter. The Dursleys would never have treated Harry like that, because people would have talked. As they were effectively fostering Harry, even though it was family, they would have been social services involvement. They were all about appearances. They'd have paraded Harry as an example of how wonderfully generous they were. He'd have looked fine on the outside however coldly they treated him inside their house.

Personally, I'm not keen on Dahl; there's something about them that makes my skin crawl. I read something written by him where he'd said that children liked his books because in them the adults are the baddies and children think "ah! at last we have an author who understands us. He knows that we look on adults as the enemy. Only children can rescue us."
I was primary school age, so the age he was talking about, at the time and was confused. Because if I fell and hurt my knee etc I went to find a grown up. I didn't look round for some other child. Was I not meant to do this then?
As a parent, I think that was quite a dangerous message for him to think, because at times children need the protection of adults, and need to feel that they can ask for help.

But I do like the Matilda, especially the musical version. It's how a little girl comes through against all odds. It's a story of love-between her and Miss Honey, and how the evil (her parents and Miss Trunchball) doesn't stop them.

Alice in Wonderland - neglected child falls down a hole, nearly drowns, is forced to look after a pig child and tortured by having pepper thrown in her eyes, goes to a tea party where everyone is high, is told stories of torment and made to participate in a cruel game without knowing the rules. Through the Looking Glass is even worse.

God only knows why these god awful books are revered. A vile man who poured a little poison into every child's ear.