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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find Matilda hard to watch?

246 replies

susiesuelou · 27/12/2022 09:59

I know it's just a work of fiction for kids and that it all comes good in the end for Matilda, but I've been watching it this morning whilst toddler DD naps and it's struck me just how horrible it is (the start especially). Particularly the part where she begs to be allowed books to read and the Dad holds her head and forces her to watch TV instead. Not being acknowledged by her mum when she comes in from school and wants to tell her about her day. 🥹

And don't get me started on the abusive practices of Miss Trunchbull! Particularly force feeding chocolate cake to that boy! I actually skipped through that part.

I've watched it before but never really watched it, if that makes sense. And it's just left an uncomfortable feeling.

AIBU? Am I too sensitive? I know the answer is probably yes, as it's just a film after all. But has anyone else had similar discomfort watching it?

OP posts:
DarkForces · 27/12/2022 10:13

Having read Boy, I'm pretty sure it reflects some of his experiences growing up rather than an innate hatred of children

Tonsiltrouble · 27/12/2022 10:13

Roald Dahl is a challenging author when viewed through modern eyes. But so are many other children’s authors of that period (Enid Blyton).

some of his stories are horrific in parts but all have good learning/talking points. The one I find most problematic is Esio Trot, but my 6yo loved it and we had some great chats about consent and motivation and morality.

Matilda is extreme, but actually some contemporary examples of child abuse are much more so. Again, good talking points about how parents/teachers should be.

RD may not have been a nice man, I haven’t made my mind up about that completely yet, but he had some unacceptable views that’s for sure

Funkyslippers · 27/12/2022 10:14

I remember seeing the original at the cinema on a whim, not knowing what it was about. I nearly cried a few times, especially when she's crying and the tears are falling on to her book. I love the original though. With the new film, I found it quite hard to 'like' Matilda as she was far too ballsy, different to the original Matilda who was sweet and charming

JoyPeaceSleep · 27/12/2022 10:15

I know what you mean but luckily the actors play it in quite a caricature style. I think if Matilda's parents had been less pantomime in their portrayal of her parents I would have found it upsetting too!! But luckily the over the top caricature style does work keeping it light. I thought!

jakesmommy · 27/12/2022 10:15

During the filming of Matilda the mother of Mara Wilson, the little girl who plays Matilda was actually dying from Cancer, Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman took care of her throughout the filming, he even took her mother a cut of the film in the hospital, sadly her mother passed away before the release of the film.

MilkyYay · 27/12/2022 10:15

Trying to bury our heads in the sand and pretend abuse and bad things don't happen is not helpful in terms of making sure the people in that situation get help.

It's a bit like remembering the holocaust. Its important, "lest we forget" because our memory and awareness of how bad it was help us safeguard against it happening again.

I think it can help today's very protected children have some empathy to understand how unpleasant these things can be to know how important it is to avoid.

aoibhacado · 27/12/2022 10:15

Funkyslippers · 27/12/2022 10:11

DigitalTranny I don't think you can assume that. Lots of authors have dark themes involving children, even Jacqueline Wilson

yes, but roald dahl presents it like it is something funny. jacqueline wilson's novels are clearly meant to be emotional.

Mangogogogo · 27/12/2022 10:16

MilkyYay · 27/12/2022 10:11

Ive been reading a lot of roald dahl lately and struggling with a lot of the bits where kids are hit, or living in extreme poverty etc.

But i gave myself a bit of a talking to. We actually need to move away from this idea that kids should live in bubble. I think maybe it gives them a better sense of perspective to expose them, through fiction, to some things that are unpleasant or uncomfortable. There are messages here that children need to hear:

  • some people are very poor and its a deeply unpleasant experience (eg the descriptions when charlie is starving hungry in charlie & the chocolate factory).
  • not all adults are kind
  • bad behaviour or antisocial character traits can bring negative consequences

You do usually notice Roald Dahl balances this with:

  • kind, selfless and thoughtful children come out tops
  • there are wonderful, good, kind, caring and exciting adults around to help
  • humour can make a scary or difficult situation less frightening

This whole comment is spot on!

Original poster
susiesuelou · 27/12/2022 10:17

jakesmommy · 27/12/2022 10:15

During the filming of Matilda the mother of Mara Wilson, the little girl who plays Matilda was actually dying from Cancer, Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman took care of her throughout the filming, he even took her mother a cut of the film in the hospital, sadly her mother passed away before the release of the film.

This is so sad 😢 what a brave little girl to carry on filming throughout that heartbreaking experience

OP posts:
KnickerlessParsons · 27/12/2022 10:19

DigitalTranny · 27/12/2022 10:10

Ronald Dahl must have been some sadistic psycho because suffering, neglected and abused children is a common recurring theme in his books. E.g. Charlie and the chocolate factory, James and the Giant peach etc..

A huge percentage of children's books are based on adults being horrible to children, or children being horrible to other children.

MilkyYay · 27/12/2022 10:19

yes the children do seem to come out on top in all his stories (well the ones I know of anyway).

Roald Dahl's child characters are very resilient. They keep going through hard times, don't let challenge or bullies stop them, pick themselves up and carry on even when it's really difficult. They look for the silver linings and focus on the positives to turn things around when they feel sad.

Those can be very, very valuable character traits we need children to develop.

Original poster
susiesuelou · 27/12/2022 10:22

MilkyYay · 27/12/2022 10:19

yes the children do seem to come out on top in all his stories (well the ones I know of anyway).

Roald Dahl's child characters are very resilient. They keep going through hard times, don't let challenge or bullies stop them, pick themselves up and carry on even when it's really difficult. They look for the silver linings and focus on the positives to turn things around when they feel sad.

Those can be very, very valuable character traits we need children to develop.

That's true.

And there does always seem to be at least one safe, caring adult figure? The relationship between Miss Honey and Matilda, for example, which is just so beautiful!

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SweetSakura · 27/12/2022 10:27

I don't know the film. But I think the musical it is based on is great. The songs send such an important message that we (even children) shouldn't just accept being treated badly.

Lots of adults are awful, lots of children even in outwardly "naice" families experience abuse. I don't think children's books and films should shy away from it. Exploring escape from abuse is an important theme

VelvetThunder · 27/12/2022 10:27

jakesmommy · 27/12/2022 10:15

During the filming of Matilda the mother of Mara Wilson, the little girl who plays Matilda was actually dying from Cancer, Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman took care of her throughout the filming, he even took her mother a cut of the film in the hospital, sadly her mother passed away before the release of the film.

Came here to say this. I think it puts such a different spin on the film, knowing that in real life they chose to foster her throughout the filming and that they're really good people. And as another pp said, that they're so over the top in their acting of their characters, it's definitely not as sad and depressing as it could be.

Phos · 27/12/2022 10:27

I think you're overreacting. I haven't seen the film in years, and not got round to the new one yet but we are currently reading it and I don't find it particularly distressing. It's fairly typical Roald Dahl and much better than other childrens books I've read.

SweetSakura · 27/12/2022 10:27

My children's dad is a nasty bully and I could see the songs from the musical resonating with them so much

BeautifulWar · 27/12/2022 10:28

@MilkyYay hits the nail on the head for me.

The children are usually empowered in these stories.

The darkness of Dahl's stories read like modern day fairy tales to me. His portrayal of the horrible, often abusive characters are so grotesque they're both unnerving and funny. He writes like a co-conspirator of the rebellious kids he writes about. I think that's a real knack!

Pineconederby · 27/12/2022 10:28

You’re seeing it through an adult lens in 2022. A child will have little concept of this, though hopefully some safeguarding messages will have been hammered home at school, and children like Matilda would know where/how to access a safe adult to ask for help.

Also - thinking of children’s literature - there have always been themes of sadness and pain and cruelty, Grimm fairytales for example. They’re a way for children to explore their darker thoughts.

LonginesPrime · 27/12/2022 10:29

I agree with SuperGinger - the films lack certain elements and IMO it's nearly impossible to translate the cartoonishness and linguistic absurdity from the books into a film without it feeling contrived.

The Wormwood characters and Miss Trunchbull are obviously played as cartoonishly as possible to express the outlandish characters of the book, but while the story and words are there, the film doesn't capture the essence of the book really.

Tbh, I've never got through the whole film (and I doubt I could even tell you what Miss Honey looks like in the film) as I don't enjoy it (although DC happily watched it a lot when they were younger at DM's house), whereas I do still have fond memories of the book. I think it's just the interpretation of the film that feels quite overstated and brash (clearly intentionally, but that's not my kind of thing in films).

Children’s films tend to have some subtlety when it comes to portraying or suggesting abuse usually (not always, but generally), and it never tends to be shown in such an in-your-face cartoonish way. It's also hard to watch live action versions of those events because they are so extreme, but could still technically happen.

Lots of Roald Dahl stories are really scary, and while I used to like the animated version of the BFG as a child and have seen the Joanna Lumley Giant Peach one, I tended to stick to the books as they were harrowing enough!

Cornettoninja · 27/12/2022 10:29

Matilda was written in 1988, corporal punishment in schools was banned in 1986. RD was writing for a generation of children who were familiar with a world where adults being harmful to children was normalised and only just becoming to be seen as abusive.

His stories resonated with children at a time the probability was their experience would be dismissed by adults.

RD certainly held some views that are outdated and distasteful but truthfully you’d be hard pushed to find many people from recent history who didn’t in some respect. The world has changed and you can recognise the wrongness without discarding the good people have contributed.

JackieDaws · 27/12/2022 10:32

One of Dahl's children, Olivia, died of measles when she was 5. He never got over that and lost his faith when the then archbishop of Canterbury told him that despite Olivia being in paradise, her dog would never be with her. It broke him further to think of her being alone.

Original poster
susiesuelou · 27/12/2022 10:32

SweetSakura · 27/12/2022 10:27

My children's dad is a nasty bully and I could see the songs from the musical resonating with them so much

So sad 😞

OP posts:
Pickledghosts · 27/12/2022 10:33

You're talking about a book that was written about 40 years ago. So will be very much of its time.

It was also written by a bloke who went to private boarding school in the 1930s. I can well imagine a lot of the 'sadistic' adult behaviour he wrote about being things that he personally witnessed TBH.

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 27/12/2022 10:33

It isn't real

mizu · 27/12/2022 10:34

I went to see the new film last week and loved it. Enjoyed every minute - felt like such a feel good film. And the girls I took to see it - aged 8 and 7 - loved it too!