To find Matilda hard to watch?

[susiesuelou]

I know it's just a work of fiction for kids and that it all comes good in the end for Matilda, but I've been watching it this morning whilst toddler DD naps and it's struck me just how horrible it is (the start especially). Particularly the part where she begs to be allowed books to read and the Dad holds her head and forces her to watch TV instead. Not being acknowledged by her mum when she comes in from school and wants to tell her about her day. 🥹

And don't get me started on the abusive practices of Miss Trunchbull! Particularly force feeding chocolate cake to that boy! I actually skipped through that part.

I've watched it before but never really watched it, if that makes sense. And it's just left an uncomfortable feeling.

AIBU? Am I too sensitive? I know the answer is probably yes, as it's just a film after all. But has anyone else had similar discomfort watching it?

I think Roald Dahl had significantly deteriorated as a writer by the time he wrote 'Matilda' - it's cliche-ridden nonsense in my opinion.

I feel similar, and about Roald Dahl in general. It’s not just that bad/cruel things happen. I’ve read loads of books and seen loads of films and have had the “resilience” to cope with all kinds of upsetting scenes, which of course aren’t new. But there is a kind of grossness to the nastiness in Dahl which I’ve always struggled with. I wouldn’t want to watch Matilda in particular because of the trunchbull cruelty. It’s like he revels in it. While teachers can be horribly cruel and abusive and even more so in the past, and I do think it’s important to address that, there’s also a misogynist nastiness in the representation of her being made so extreme and “unfeminine”. It makes me uncomfortable.

I think Roald Dahl was just weird. Some weirdo with daddy issue called willy wanker inviting children into his factory then choose the most vulnerable one to work with him.

I think in a way he was trying to give children hope that in every tough situation things could get better. I think these things are less culturally accepted now.
Even Miss Honey would be considered a bad teacher now because it's inappropriate to invite students to your home and she witnessed abuse in school and didn't whistle blow.

I think that because cancel culture HAS got so excessive there’s an opposing reaction of not connecting a writer’s character and the stories they produce at all, or suspending all moral critique of art. I’m very pro free speech and anti censorship.

BUT

Roald Dahl wasn’t just a bit socially conservative - read Patricia Neal’s autobiography. He raped her while she was in pain and disabled after her stroke. He was an abusive husband and father who dosed up all his kids because he couldn’t deal with them having emotions. He wrote ‘erotica’ that consists of very nasty misogynist rape fantasies. He was a sadist, and I agree that that comes through in his fiction for children. I love the BFG but I don’t think it’s anything other than having a good gut sense to find some of his work disturbing.

CS Lewis oh dear

Ignore that comment, I got muddled with Lewis Carroll
I'm ill that's my excuse

She's 1 and a half, so mostly Peppa Pig 😃

I'm surprised by a lot of the comments on here.

I was a big RD fan when I was younger, and DD (6) and I have recently been reading some RD. She adored Boy and Matilda and we have moved onto Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

There are a few points, particularly in Boy, that make me think RD was actually a very nice man (obviously I know it's written by him so he can project himself jn whatever light he wants, but I didn't feel that was the case).

He talks a lot of corporal punishment in schools and how he always found it barbaric. He writes how he struggles to get his head around fully grown adults inflicting pain on young boys (boys school).

He writes about teachers (and matrons) he came across who seemed to really dislike young kids and he found this odd.

He refused to be a boazer in 6th form because it would have meant a certain level of bullying etc the younger boys and he just didn't want to do it.

I always got a sense of intelligence and kindness from him.

I believe the death of his young daughter affected him badly and I've read that he was never really the same afterwards. I believe he withdrew into himself somewhat and mostly just wrote.

I have always liked the child characters he creates. They seem a lot more "real" than a lot of other child characters. They are often strong, resilient, intelligent, independent and cheeky....which my DD finds hilarious.

There's no denying RD had a very, very privileged upbringing and an interesting life, which my daughter finds fascinating. We read Going Solo about how his career after school changed direction due to the outbreak of war and it led to some very interesting discussions as she is aware of the Ukraine war at the moment but nothing else.

Again. There's a difference between "not having the resilience to deal with" feeling uncomfortable, and acknowledging and naming a feeling of discomfort and opening up a discussion about that on a public forum. I'm not saying I've collapsed in heaps of inconsolable tears. Im saying it had an emotional impact on me and I found it a difficult watch. I think that's perfectly normal and human.

@bellac11

Humans should feel discomfort/upset at abuse and neglect surely?

Yes - of course they should. That discomfort is precisely what I'm aiming to discuss with other fellow humans. Hence this thread.

Always wondered why they've never made a film of Georges Marvellous Medicine it wpuld be great

Having read and owned about ten Roald Dahl books as a kid, seeing the Dursleys (especially Aunt Marge and her clicking fingers) from the Harry Potter films gave me a deja vu feeling as they are very similar to many adults in his stories.

In turn its it’s clear that Dahl was influenced by Dickens (Oliver Twist for one).

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
James and the Giant Peach
Matilda
Fantastic Mr Fox
The BFG
George’s Marvellous Medicine
The Witches
Danny the Champion of the World
The Twits

His books are subversive, full of dark humour and ultimately very satisfying. Alice in Wonderland is almost certainly the best and most influential children’s book ever written, but when it comes to children’s authors and their body of work Dahl is #1.

Possibly considered (nowadays) as showing a risky behaviour - mixing up random liquids and drinking them - the BBFC might not pass it with a child-friendly certificate.

The only thing disturbing about the latest Matilda film is the excessive amount of singing! Bloody ell, every five seconds! I fell asleep for most of the middle part though! My kids (10 and 7) loved it.

Writers do have active imaginations though, doesn't mean they are disturbed or likely to be cruel in real life. Look at all the successful crime / thriller writers! Are they all potential serial killers?

Have you really thought about the nursery rhymes/fairy tales we wean our babies on? Some of those are pretty sinister What of Jack and the Beanstalk and Little Red riding Hood condoning theft and burglary?

Where does it all end! 😁

@PlaitBilledDuckyPuss good point

Then you need to toughen up. It’s acting. And she blows his TV up via telekinesis so she’s not forced to watch it for long…

The weirdness is why generations of kids love them. You’re hyper-sensitive.

I, too, dislike singing in my stage-to-screen musical adaptation.

I agree. I took my daughter to see it, and actually found it really uncomfortable to watch, the parents especially. I don't really remember the book, but it just seemed too cruel. Miss Honey's song near the end was lovely though, made me really emotional!

@Cuppasoupmonster

I need to "toughen up" in order to find portrayals of child abuse more palatable?

I disagree. My emotional reaction to the abuse of children, whether real or fictional, is I would argue perfectly valid!

Oh please. Trust mumsnet to put things in the most extreme language possible. If you think the neglect in Matilda is bad then never, ever work in social services. Not to mention it’s fiction. A point that seems to be lost on many posters here.

It’s hilarious so many adults are finding it indulgently ‘uncomfortable’ when the message behind the story will have been comforting to many kids who were actually neglected when they saw the film. And it finally had something of their own situation in, rather than fluffy perfect families where everyone is kind and loving.

Interesting that you assume I've never worked in child services.......

Not really, your reaction is that of somebody who can’t tolerate mild discomfort for the sake of empathy because you find it ‘unpalatable’.

I like the depiction of the Wormwood's as it a form of abuse which is quite common. Matilda is fed, she is well dressed, she lives in a warm house and has her own possessions. It seems she has dolls, toys etc. The Wormwoods go on holiday and take their kids to restaurants. Why didn't they leave Matilda at home to go to The Ritz when Mrs Wormwood won the bingo? They want to outwardly seem that they are a loving family. But they don't love Matilda as she isn't like them. And she judges them.
All parents imagine that their child will take on some of their characteristics, share their interests and, to some extent, live their lives with similar values to their own. Matilda rejects everything they feel is important. The TV scene is about the pent of frustration of Mr Wormwood that Matilda does not share his interests. He has no emotional intelligence or regulation which is why holding his daughters head and forcing her to watch the television is the only way that he can think of getting her to share his interests. It's like a ramped up version of dads who force their sons into football camp or mums who make their daughters do ballet because they did it.

Children need to see that this is also abuse. That a parent who provides all your basic needs but doesn't love you for who you really are is also abusive. The Wormwoods don't hit Matilda, they don't starve her, but they are still horrible parents.

God, you could destroy the fun and enjoyment in anything with that attitude.

BFG blowing dreams into kids' bedrooms - paedo grooming infants by manipulating their inner worlds. Harry Potter - abused child, neglected by social services, comes to be groomed by gay wizard into joining his cult. (The sorting hat - definitely abusive.) The Tiger Who Came to Tea - stranger danger. Wallace and Gromit - animal abuse.

We'll only be left with inane pap like The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse - there are Hallmark cards with more depth and entertainment than that.