Or is this the most obnoxious thing people do on MN?

[Furdinand]

"What did he say when you told him to fuck off"

"What did she say when you sent her home?"

When the OP clearly has said nothing of the sort and had come to MN to ask opinions on what she should say or do or if she was even being unreasonable to be upset in the first place.

It's such a weird thing to say, you'd never say it in real life because you'd sound like you hadn't followed the basics of the story before creating a second half!

The most obnoxious thing is when a poster decides they know a scenario better than the OP who is involved with and posting about it. This usually takes the form of the poster making up their own narrative, seasoning it with hyperbole, then posting as though it were fact. Then getting shirty when they are corrected.

Don't know if that makes sense but I see a lot of it. It's very arrogant.

I really dislike the whole "What did X say when you spoke to them" crap, when it is blindingly obvious that the OP has not spoken to whomever and has usually stated why not. Extra wanker points if they accompany it with "use your words". Who the hell ever says that to an adult in person?

I know it did @NoSquirrels hence why I clarified that wasn’t the intention. It was ‘said’ in more of a baffled tone - you said ‘well would this be better then’ and the answer is blindingly obvious, to me anyway.

Do you actually think ‘What did he say when you told him to fuck off’ is a superior response to ‘how did you react when he did that?’ Again, I’m genuinely asking.

Yes.

Or where the poster clearly is married but the husband is absolutely shit, abusive and treated her like crap the whole relationship and people say whatever horrible thing he has done this is week is fine as long as she takes a spa day next week.

Like she just hasn't considered asking him to watch his own children and do the fucking tidying.

I see that all the time @pictoosh and it is why we sometimes get reverse threads as sometimes people are just determined to put the OP in the wrong, no matter what.

You get something like I was out with my dad and realised I’d left my purse at home and so my dad said he would lend me £20. The next day I went to return it and my mum started screaming at me that she couldn’t cope any more and to get out and dad didn’t say anything

You then get YABU, sounds like you’re always borrowing money from your parents and your mum is sick of it.

Oh no, I stand corrected. Actually the most obnoxious thing is when a woman posts about her domineering, rude, disrespectful, abusive husband. She's at the end of her tether, confused and miserable so Mumsnet rounds on her with a score of demands to leave that very second or condemn her kids to a life of darkness. Like it's as simple as that. Fuds.

There is nothing wrong with pointing out that children will be affected by an abusive household. The manner in which it is conveyed is sometimes revolting.

I find the calls for 'evidence' amusing. On some threads there might be a need for a reference to a peer reviewed study but on most its MN and people are just talking back and forth.

I agree that it’s not supportive. Lots of posters come across as wanting to be seen as tough and taking no shit at the expense of the op. Doesn’t tally with my experience of people in real life, which is that even pretty confident people generally let rudeness and similar slide and then have a bitch or lick their wounds in private. Just like ops on here.

This tendency peaked - tastelessly - at the start of the Ukraine invasion, when scores of MNers posted that they’d definitely be staying behind to fight. Amazing how many posters on here fancied themselves as a bit tasty with firearms.

There was one on an ageism thread the other day - ‘nobody would dare do that to me!’ (Unlike the rest of us feeble saps.)

There will be a small minority who do ‘tell it like it is’. The rest are using MN to play out a fantasy version of themselves.

Exactly that @Getinajollymood . To a lesser or greater degree.

Even when an OP points out an inaccuracy (and they would know) they are pushed back as though they don't understand their own life...whereas this random who has just imagined a bunch of shit, does. It's mental.

This tendency peaked - tastelessly - at the start of the Ukraine invasion, when scores of MNers posted that they’d definitely be staying behind to fight. Amazing how many posters on here fancied themselves as a bit tasty with firearms.

Or I'd have taken the dog/cat neighbour's child and drop kicked it over the fence.

Sure you'd have booted that staffy out of the pari for taking your child's sandwich.

It's not supportive. It's not supposed to be. It's saying the OP is bullshitting by not having done the most obvious thing that anybody would do, but run to MN to start a thread.

The most obnoxious thing though is trolling. Which is why useful devices like the above are handy. Signals the bullshit in case anyone is daft enough to believe it.

Ha ha that does seem a constant theme on MN where people create an entire back story of their own to someone's post.

'Use your words'. Patronising much.
I also hate it when someone quite innocently uses an obvious regional phrase or name for something and some fuckwit feigns confusion, instead of just googling it. One time someone asked what tinned soup is, because they only ever made soup from scratch so the concept of a tin was so alien to them!

That too.
Doozy at the moment where someone hasn't been invited to her sister's wedding. Couldn't possibly be because sister has decided she doesn't want her there, no. It's a controlling and bullying groom and the sister needs saving.

I hate the "eh" overuse. You are not confused or perplexed so stop fucking pretending!

I find it obnoxious when posters use "did you not...?" as opposed to "did you...?". Just one word to change the question from a genuine enquiry to a way to make the OP feel stupid and illogical.

I agree with @Patanat about posters wanting to live out a fantasy life, and a lot of them don't seem to be able to tell the difference between tough love and being pointlessly nasty.

'Use your words'. Patronising much.

This is horribly patronising, I agree. But it is also the root of a lot of posters’ problems! No one would say that in real life, but then that’s also part of why people bring things to MN - to get a spread of unbiased opinions. You’re always going to get the less polite, the blunt, the sarcastic, the funny alongside the more considered, eloquent etc.

Making up back stories and reading comprehension fails annoy me.

The most obvious thing for many people, is not to tell others to fuck off or to be confrontational at all. That's why they complain on MN. I've seen it replied lots of times to non trolly threads. I'd have slightly more time for it if it was just a troll klaxon.

Ha ha that does seem a constant theme on MN where people create an entire back story of their own to someone's post.

Oh god yes! DH is late home, he's a bigamist with another family. SIL is late, she hates the OP & is a narcissist 🙄

AAArgh - there is my hated one baffled but in the phrase "I am baffled why blah blah ...expresses that they are 100% correct 🙄

One time someone asked what tinned soup is, because they only ever made soup from scratch so the concept of a tin was so alien to them!

@OoooohMatron that's possibly the most mumsnetty thing I've ever heard. 😆

Sorry! Perplexed any better?

I do agree with you but I was using it genuinely, promise.

I think the problem is there are a lot of people here with a lot of pent up aggression and poor social skills.

Fairly sure that's because saying the poster is lying (or trolling as MN has uniquely redefined it) would result in a post being deleted if reported.
The other side of that coin is the amount of stories posted which are obvious and total bollocks.

Yes, like they're living in some pre google era. They do the same with celebrities and open threads literally to ask who the person is

Who is this "Brad Pitt" you speak of?

Yes! I once had a very very light hearted moan about ironing a duvet cover, I also mentioned I was ironing it as my husband had asked me too.

Two posters then took it on themselves to decide I was in an extremely abusive relationship, I should do this weird program and I would soon be subjected to physical violence. Apparently anytime a partner asks something unless you say no you are being abused!