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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Invoiced for Christmas stay

295 replies

Brightun · 27/12/2022 07:42

I’ve already had a thread about SILs bitching that the roast I served (for 11 people) wasn’t piping hot. Now we’re home I’m a bit less cross about that but absolutely fuming about the invoice I’ve received!

The set up is a bit complicated. DH has 3 sisters. The venue was SIL2’s house but I cooked because she’s recovering from an injury.

Me, DH, x3 DC
SIL1, BIL1, 1DC
SIL2, BIL2
SIL3

We all stayed 23-26 December. We brought 2 joints of meat, a Christmas pudding, a Christmas cake, plenty of wine, beer, some gin and rum, some nice cheeses, kids snacks and drinks. There was one cafe lunch and one takeaway and we all paid for our own families. I paid for one top up shop of about £40. Everyone else paid for/brought similar things.

This morning SIL emailed an invoice (made on an invoice template from some software!) to DH and copied me in for £200 for “hospitality”! I understand that hosting 9 people is a lot but I hadn’t expected to be invoiced.

DH wants to pay it to shut her up. I want to ask her to itemise it and to prepare an invoice in return for the hours I spent cooking Christmas dinner.

OP posts:
HelpMeGetThrough · 27/12/2022 08:51

OP, you missed this off your post....

AIBU for trying to get this picked up by the Daily Mail?

Broadleaves · 27/12/2022 08:52

boogiejive · 27/12/2022 07:44

You write her an invoice with all the items you paid for listed.

And a line something like "you being a cheeky fucker : priceless"

And you email it back.

Wonderful @boogiejive. Damn right the OP should do this! Suspect many of us should send an invoice like this to various relatives at this time of year.

PAFMO · 27/12/2022 08:52

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GinIronic · 27/12/2022 08:53

HelpMeGetThrough · 27/12/2022 08:51

OP, you missed this off your post....

AIBU for trying to get this picked up by the Daily Mail?

This.

Pearl664 · 27/12/2022 08:56

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In the previous thread OP said she was cooking at SILs.

SaintLoy · 27/12/2022 08:57

I totally agree with the idea of preparing a counter-invoice, and i would include my time at £10-15 per hour, as well as the cost of all items purchased, and any energy costs I incurred pre-cooking stuff at my house. It would be a nice touch if the final result was a cheque from you for a derisory amount in her favour, perhaps a very few quid and 99p.

PAFMO · 27/12/2022 08:57

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DeadDonkey · 27/12/2022 08:57

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You might want to read more than the first post of that thread for clarification purposes.

Bingobangodrinkacanoftango · 27/12/2022 08:57

Very curious what the hourly rate of a personal chef in Christmas Day runs for. Bet it’s more than £200 🤣

Funnywonder · 27/12/2022 08:58

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To be fair to OP, she did state on the other thread that she was cooking at SIL's house due to her being incapacitated.

Tigger7654 · 27/12/2022 08:58

You're going to have to post a picture of that invoice before I believe it. My SIL are CFs but not even they are this bad!

qwertykeyboards · 27/12/2022 08:58

Show us the invoice then 😂

LubaLuca · 27/12/2022 08:58

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parsniiips · 27/12/2022 09:00

If it's serious, not a fucking chance would I be paying that!!!

If you do, you are a doormat.

GeorgeA12 · 27/12/2022 09:03

If she is doing it by the book, to invoice you she needs to quote a purchase order number you provided in advance for this. I assume you never gave one!

Inkpotlover · 27/12/2022 09:04

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She actually does say in the other thread that she can't disinvited SIL next year because it's the SIL's house.

But I doubt very much the invoice happened. The shark has been jumped too soon!

dudsville · 27/12/2022 09:04

In a completely different context I was once asked to give someone some money. I said i would consider it if we exchanged our expenditure but that I suspected it would not be to their advantage. I never heard back from them.

IncompleteSenten · 27/12/2022 09:06

Take it off your bill for being the chef

FerretInAFrock · 27/12/2022 09:06

if you do give her any money, make sure it’s in small change - a big bag of 1p, 2p and 5p pieces!

astralpiano · 27/12/2022 09:06

I can 100% understand asking for a contribution to the cost of the Christmas meal if you're not bringing anything instead or helping cook it but this jas to be bought up before hand and this isn't what your SIL has done. She's a right cheeky fucker. Send back your invoice please.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 27/12/2022 09:09
euff · 27/12/2022 09:11

Things are tight for a lot of people so I understand asking for a contribution in advance or for people to bring items of a certain value but invoicing after the fact with no warning is disgusting. More so given you seem to have contributed financially at least your share of whatever the day cost and with your work on the day.

If my DH paid it to keep the peace with his family he wouldn't have peace at home.

euff · 27/12/2022 09:14

Oh and please do ask for the itemised invoice and post it. We're there four families? Have the others also been charged and did they contribute anything. This is one of the rare threads you kind of want to end up in the media so SIL sees it but not obviously for the fall out for you. If you had come to my house and done all that work I would have been thanking you profusely!

Naunet · 27/12/2022 09:14

DH has 3 sisters. The venue was SIL2’s house but I cooked because she’s recovering from an injury.

Why, she’s married? Did her husband lose his hands in some horrific accident or does Christmas dinner need to be cooked by a woman for some reason? Why was it just left to you when she’s not even your sister?

Boshi · 27/12/2022 09:14

I love the idea of sending a counter invoice and tallying it so you owe her £0.78 or something and sending her a cheque for it 😂

dont know if this is real or not but I can believe the length some people will go to, to make a quick buck (mug) out of family, we have our own in our family and the knots she ties herself into to save/make money!

Your DH sounds pathetic though, why would you cough up £200 when you bought the majority of the food AND cooked. Tell him to grow a pair and boycott that SIL next year