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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Invoiced for Christmas stay

295 replies

Brightun · 27/12/2022 07:42

I’ve already had a thread about SILs bitching that the roast I served (for 11 people) wasn’t piping hot. Now we’re home I’m a bit less cross about that but absolutely fuming about the invoice I’ve received!

The set up is a bit complicated. DH has 3 sisters. The venue was SIL2’s house but I cooked because she’s recovering from an injury.

Me, DH, x3 DC
SIL1, BIL1, 1DC
SIL2, BIL2
SIL3

We all stayed 23-26 December. We brought 2 joints of meat, a Christmas pudding, a Christmas cake, plenty of wine, beer, some gin and rum, some nice cheeses, kids snacks and drinks. There was one cafe lunch and one takeaway and we all paid for our own families. I paid for one top up shop of about £40. Everyone else paid for/brought similar things.

This morning SIL emailed an invoice (made on an invoice template from some software!) to DH and copied me in for £200 for “hospitality”! I understand that hosting 9 people is a lot but I hadn’t expected to be invoiced.

DH wants to pay it to shut her up. I want to ask her to itemise it and to prepare an invoice in return for the hours I spent cooking Christmas dinner.

OP posts:
PoseyFlump · 27/12/2022 08:28

No one believes you @Brightun

You're gonna have to produce evidence.

Simplepink · 27/12/2022 08:28

And definitely if it is then Christmas Day cheffing needs to be added to your counter “invoice”

Skinnermarink · 27/12/2022 08:28

OP is currently knocking up the itemised bill to show us, no doubt 🙄

catsnthat · 27/12/2022 08:30

She's a cf. Definitely ask for it to be itemised so you can take off all the stuff you took with you (plus your time!)

midsomermurderess · 27/12/2022 08:31

This is going to land in the tabs in a few moments.

PAFMO · 27/12/2022 08:32

Skinnermarink · 27/12/2022 08:28

OP is currently knocking up the itemised bill to show us, no doubt 🙄

Yep.
Jumped the shark really by saying she'd taken all the meat and done the cooking and it was an invoice.

Might have believed it if it had been "SIL asked everyone to contribute to the cost of Christmas seeing as she was hosting".

But that wouldn't have got even one nomination for classics. I imagine she was hoping for the terminally gullible to come along and suggest totes hilaires ripostes to the CFSIL.

ivykaty44 · 27/12/2022 08:32

My traveling stay for £30 and taxi for £10 is looking cheap 😂

PAFMO · 27/12/2022 08:32

midsomermurderess · 27/12/2022 08:31

This is going to land in the tabs in a few moments.

Hopefully as a warning not to believe the bullshit some bored people post on SM.

Ellie1015 · 27/12/2022 08:33

I would not pay. As a compromise with DH i would agree to ignore it rather than any reply. Definitely not paying it to appease SIL

keri17 · 27/12/2022 08:35

This has your local rag all over it cause they haven’t got stories for the socials. Shout out to the Daily Mail, Birmingham Live/Edinburgh Live and whatever other cities those shit sites entail.

superorganisms · 27/12/2022 08:36

Finding this very hard to believe

AriettyHomily · 27/12/2022 08:36

Hello daily mail!

RoseMadderAsHell · 27/12/2022 08:37

Iamwhatiam52 · 27/12/2022 07:52

Is this for real?!

Definitely (NOT).
But it doesn't matter as those with nothing better to do will enjoy frothing about it.

RampantIvy · 27/12/2022 08:39

If this is true I agree that you should counter it with an invoice of your own and say "I didn't know you were running an airbnb".

Then next year just have Christmas with your own immediate family.

Has she invoiced everyone else?

ItsNotReallyChaos · 27/12/2022 08:40

If this is true, I’d just reply very simply with ‘I think the meat, alcohol, puddings we brought will cancel out your bill’.

No way would I pay it and I wouldn’t give a shit if that damaged the relationship. Your SIL has already done that.

The only time this might be ok is if it was agreed beforehand that costs would be shared but the fact you took pricey contributions suggests this wasn’t the arrangement.

If I hosted Christmas for that amount of people for a few days, I wouldn’t manage to afford it on my own but I hope I’d handle it better than this!

Thinkwicebeforeyouleavemylife · 27/12/2022 08:40

Obviously don't pay OP. Your dp needs to stand up for himself and I'd just send a message back saying 'nice one lol'

PinkButtercups · 27/12/2022 08:40

Of course you did.

knittingaddict · 27/12/2022 08:43

Oh dear. A pudding has been over egged.

WillTryNotToBeGrumpy · 27/12/2022 08:44

Come back @Brightun

I really want this to be true.

knittingaddict · 27/12/2022 08:45

I replied to op's other thread. Wishing I hadn't wasted my time now.

MintJulia · 27/12/2022 08:45

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 27/12/2022 07:44

Assume it's a festive joke and bin it.

This.

Don't credit it with a reply. She is ridiculous.

Skinnermarink · 27/12/2022 08:46

WillTryNotToBeGrumpy · 27/12/2022 08:44

Come back @Brightun

I really want this to be true.

She can’t, she’s busy making up the invoice to show us.

Catflapping · 27/12/2022 08:48

Just reply with ‘ Hi SIL, after our deductions for food, drinks and my cooking skills, I think we are even. Thanks Brightun

ginggung · 27/12/2022 08:50

You were amply generous, you are clearly not a skin flint. What is wrong with people. Some expensive Christmas dinner that.

MiniHouse · 27/12/2022 08:50

It's out of order as a. They didn't say in advance we need some help financially b. It's an invoice not a polite request and c. You did the cooking.

So the question is what you want to get out of it. If you want to say it's impolite but you can contribute I think say that. If you want to refuse on the basis you weren't forewarned or you don't have the money do that. Or if you just want the problem to go away then pay this year but set boundaries in advance of next. I think an itemised bill simply misses the point and turns it into a childish tit for tat.

If it were me I'd say, I appreciate this costs alot and appreciate x y z you did. However as we were guests, family and we were cooking I hadn't expected a business like invoice. Also Xmas is expensive for everyone and this is a high cost. Give us time to think.

Then I'd come back and said we can contribute £100 as a gesture.

Avoid the situation next year.